*throws arms up*
I CAN'T. DDD: *vocalized this, with the arm movements too.*
I can look at my old art and laugh. I can insult myself and realize how much I've improved. I always get this little burst of joy whenever I look at an old piece of art, because WHOO-HOO! I've gotten so much better since then.
I look at my old writing and I wince. Heck, I look at my current writing and I feel stupid. No, the "stream of consciousness" you are trying for does not work. Yes, "Comets" was an utter failure. Even YOU didn't know where you wanted to go with it, other than to tie it in with "Verdandi". WHICH NEVER HAPPENED BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T GET THEM OUT OF THE STUPID GARAGE.
Okay? Okay? Writer's block does not occur because you can't GET CHARACTERS OUT OF A GARAGE. It occurs because you do not know what to write about. It occurs because you are uncertain of characterization and plot details. It occurs because you want to incorporate too much into a story, or because you have too little. IT DOESN'T NOT OCCUR BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET YOUR CHARACTERS TO MOVE!
... *huff*.
Which leads me back to my first point. I... don't beat on myself this much about art. No, really. I'll ask myself, "WTF Sumi what were you thinking, your bodies look like bricks" and then write myself stupid little notes like, "OMG DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS PAGE XD" and "... HAHA! ST00PID. XD" and then go on and try to sketch something else.
I am well aware that my art is far from the best. It's far from the better. It's far from the mediocre, wtf. I know this because I watch oh-so-many people, many of whose work is beyond my best abilities. Like Ms,Shatia, hara/emi, shirotsuki, shinobi_fi, ruaki, lone-momo, ramy, gorachii, kyou, nyo~, orenji-kun/Syn, etc, etc, ETC. But I'm okay with that! In fact, I'm so okay with it that I've made my personal art goal very high: to reach Ms,Shatia's level of artwork by the time I'm her current age (22). A sort of "catching up" if you will. And though I'm confident I can reach it, I'll be okay even if I do fall short. Because by then, I'll have improved a heck of a lot more anyway.
It just.. doesn't work that way with my fics. I also watch many talented ficcers, and I enjoy every depressing, jubilant, and even squicky moment of it. I want to achieve that... level of writing... but no. Even the fic I was proud of, "Potions", I feel a strong amount of dislike for. I can't understand the slightest reason why people would even... like "Denial". "Proof"... that was okay. The Kairi one was stupid. Whatever.
Actually, this is really depressing because "Side ZC" actually had full paragraphs and... I mean, the (two) chapters were relatively long for me.
... *sigh*
Not to say I won't continue trying... but today was the first day where I... tried to start again... and realized I couldn't.
[/wangst.]
Of course, the root of all this is probably that I started writing... not for myself. And maybe it's still not for myself. Maybe that's why it's so hard.
Edit: Therefore! New goal. Write something purely for yourself. And make it ZackCloud just because you've been in a ZackCloud mood. Yes. Failedfailedfailed. D:
I can look at my old art and laugh. I can insult myself and realize how much I've improved. I always get this little burst of joy whenever I look at an old piece of art, because WHOO-HOO! I've gotten so much better since then.
I look at my old writing and I wince. Heck, I look at my current writing and I feel stupid. No, the "stream of consciousness" you are trying for does not work. Yes, "Comets" was an utter failure. Even YOU didn't know where you wanted to go with it, other than to tie it in with "Verdandi". WHICH NEVER HAPPENED BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T GET THEM OUT OF THE STUPID GARAGE.
Okay? Okay? Writer's block does not occur because you can't GET CHARACTERS OUT OF A GARAGE. It occurs because you do not know what to write about. It occurs because you are uncertain of characterization and plot details. It occurs because you want to incorporate too much into a story, or because you have too little. IT DOESN'T NOT OCCUR BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET YOUR CHARACTERS TO MOVE!
... *huff*.
Which leads me back to my first point. I... don't beat on myself this much about art. No, really. I'll ask myself, "WTF Sumi what were you thinking, your bodies look like bricks" and then write myself stupid little notes like, "OMG DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS PAGE XD" and "... HAHA! ST00PID. XD" and then go on and try to sketch something else.
I am well aware that my art is far from the best. It's far from the better. It's far from the mediocre, wtf. I know this because I watch oh-so-many people, many of whose work is beyond my best abilities. Like Ms,Shatia, hara/emi, shirotsuki, shinobi_fi, ruaki, lone-momo, ramy, gorachii, kyou, nyo~, orenji-kun/Syn, etc, etc, ETC. But I'm okay with that! In fact, I'm so okay with it that I've made my personal art goal very high: to reach Ms,Shatia's level of artwork by the time I'm her current age (22). A sort of "catching up" if you will. And though I'm confident I can reach it, I'll be okay even if I do fall short. Because by then, I'll have improved a heck of a lot more anyway.
It just.. doesn't work that way with my fics. I also watch many talented ficcers, and I enjoy every depressing, jubilant, and even squicky moment of it. I want to achieve that... level of writing... but no. Even the fic I was proud of, "Potions", I feel a strong amount of dislike for. I can't understand the slightest reason why people would even... like "Denial". "Proof"... that was okay. The Kairi one was stupid. Whatever.
Actually, this is really depressing because "Side ZC" actually had full paragraphs and... I mean, the (two) chapters were relatively long for me.
... *sigh*
Not to say I won't continue trying... but today was the first day where I... tried to start again... and realized I couldn't.
[/wangst.]
Of course, the root of all this is probably that I started writing... not for myself. And maybe it's still not for myself. Maybe that's why it's so hard.
Edit: Therefore! New goal. Write something purely for yourself. And make it ZackCloud just because you've been in a ZackCloud mood. Yes. Failedfailedfailed. D: