Meta-ma Ka!
Today, I finally finished reading Mercedes Lackey's "Last Herald Mage" series, featuring Vanyel, the last Herald Mage who is super gay and also super emo. I read the first book back in High School and found the next two books at the Borders closing sale last year. I don't know how I could have withstood the emo drivel he repeatedly bombards his readers with. I felt exactly like him back when I was in high school (the standard feelings of confusion at finding out you're gay, feeling that no one understands you, etc.) But at the last book, Magic's Price, he is over 30 years old already. Gosh. Grow up and just start snogging already, dude!
Re-thinking what used to be my favorite book has led me to rethinking myself. Re-writing my blog for the past 6 years has also made me painfully aware of who I was back then, and who I am now. Also, I have started contemplating the readability of my life story:
Although I'm not as emo as Vanyel, I tend to muse about myself a lot (i.e. current blog entry) I am very inward-going, and I concern myself to much with my own problems without really looking at the bigger picture.
I keep making the same mistakes. There is no character development. Well, maybe there was a little progress through the years, but my character is currently stuck in a rut. And the reason for that is:
There is no conflict in my life. There was a major conflict back in 2006 when I was just coming out, but that has been resolved already. The only other major conflict was with my mom circa 2007-2009, but that was already understood as irresolvable and I only narrowly escaped by moving out.
Right now, I am like Haruki Murakami without the magic realism and naked jazz girls.