Gorillas! Gorillas! Gorillas! The animal so nice you have to say it thrice!
Since the dawn of time, humans have been philosophical creatures. Whether you think we were created by a higher being or were just lucky enough to be formed out of primordial ooze, every human being has at some point wondered "Why are we here?" "What is our purpose on Earth?" or some variation thereon.
I am here to tell you I have discovered our purpose. I have discovered why our race came out of the trees. Why we tamed fire. Why we invented the concept of tools. Why we developed agriculture and civilization. Why we have, as a species, spent all of history learning and creating and striving to know more, to know all there is to know. I know why we did all that.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you...
Comic Book Gorillarama! For all your comic book gorilla needs!
This is quite possibly the coolest thing I have ever seen. Especially the Comic Book Cover Gallery. Here's a list of my favorites:
Angel and the Ape #1 - Art Adams must be the greatest gorilla artist of all time.
Batman #75 - The Gorilla Boss of Gotham City.
Creepy #11 - And it definitely counts as creepy in my book.
Fantastic Adventures #15 - - Mobsters vs. a gorilla with Elvis hair. How much cooler could you get?
Fantastic Giants #24 - Any comic which has both Konga and Gorgo and is a Steve Ditko special? That's some cool shit, right there.
From Beyond the Unknown #23 - - My pal Bill Svitavsky may be a degenerate freak, but he showed good taste when he had this cover framed.
Gold Key's King Kong - excellent depiction of one of the greatest movie scenes of all time.
Magnus, Robot Fighter #11 - in this issue, Magnus apparently has the sense to call for gorilla backup. Smart man.
The Phantom #34 - not really that great a cover, but any excuse to pimp a Phantom comic.
Rawhide Kid #39 - I had no idea there were gorillas in the Old West. If only it'd been wearing a couple of six-shooters and a cowboy hat...
Star-Spangled War Stories #126 - "Featuring the only non-com who escaped from a zoo to join the Marines -- Sgt. Gorilla!" They don't make 'em like this anymore, and it's a crying goddamned shame.
Strange Adventures #75 - This must be a reprint of From Beyond the Unknown #23, listed above. So it's possible this is the cover my pal Bill Svitavsky has framed. He's still a degenerate freak either way, though. Just for the record.
Strange Adventures #201 - "Animal Man battles the Mod Gorilla Boss." I couldn't make this shit up if I tried, folks.
Super Friends #30 - Gorilla Grodd unleashes some kind of Gorillaficator. And the world shall be crushed beneath his prehensile feet!
Super-Friends #44 - If you've ever wanted to see an Octopus Wonder Woman or a Four-Armed Bat-Ape, have we got an issue for you!
Super-Heroes Battle Super-Gorillas #1 - The cover is nothing special, but that might be the coolest comic title of all time.
Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #98 - This is one of those Superman Is A Dick moments, where he forces Jungle Jimmy to marry a gorilla.
Tales of the Unexpected #2 - In which we learn that the way to determine if a man's mind has been placed into the body of a gorilla is to compare their handwriting. Apparently, the fact that the gorilla can write at all is not sufficient evidence.
Tomahawk #86 - More Old West gorillas! And a big 'un this time. Going by the other Tomahawk covers shown, Tomahawk befriended King Colosso and made him a member of the Rangers, but later on Colosso betrayed him. As giant gorillas always will! Remember that, kids. That's a tip from your Uncle Pete.
Turok, Son of Stone #6 - I used to love Turok! How the hell is it I never saw this issue? And kids, don't be fooled by the big gorilla's friendly expression. Remember, he will betray you!
Unknown Worlds #17 - Apparently, the Ape God turns into a cloud in this issue. It's certainly possible that would make sense if you'd read issues #1-16, but I wouldn't bet on it.
Weird War Tales #89 - Weird War Tales was quite possibly the greatest comic book of all time. As proof, I give you this issue - Nazi Gorillas! There's just no way the Allies could've stood up to that!
Zoot #10 - Not really much of a cover, but I'm a sucker for Betty Page lookalikes.
Okay, that's it. I'm done now.
I am here to tell you I have discovered our purpose. I have discovered why our race came out of the trees. Why we tamed fire. Why we invented the concept of tools. Why we developed agriculture and civilization. Why we have, as a species, spent all of history learning and creating and striving to know more, to know all there is to know. I know why we did all that.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you...
Comic Book Gorillarama! For all your comic book gorilla needs!
This is quite possibly the coolest thing I have ever seen. Especially the Comic Book Cover Gallery. Here's a list of my favorites:
Angel and the Ape #1 - Art Adams must be the greatest gorilla artist of all time.
Batman #75 - The Gorilla Boss of Gotham City.
Creepy #11 - And it definitely counts as creepy in my book.
Fantastic Adventures #15 - - Mobsters vs. a gorilla with Elvis hair. How much cooler could you get?
Fantastic Giants #24 - Any comic which has both Konga and Gorgo and is a Steve Ditko special? That's some cool shit, right there.
From Beyond the Unknown #23 - - My pal Bill Svitavsky may be a degenerate freak, but he showed good taste when he had this cover framed.
Gold Key's King Kong - excellent depiction of one of the greatest movie scenes of all time.
Magnus, Robot Fighter #11 - in this issue, Magnus apparently has the sense to call for gorilla backup. Smart man.
The Phantom #34 - not really that great a cover, but any excuse to pimp a Phantom comic.
Rawhide Kid #39 - I had no idea there were gorillas in the Old West. If only it'd been wearing a couple of six-shooters and a cowboy hat...
Star-Spangled War Stories #126 - "Featuring the only non-com who escaped from a zoo to join the Marines -- Sgt. Gorilla!" They don't make 'em like this anymore, and it's a crying goddamned shame.
Strange Adventures #75 - This must be a reprint of From Beyond the Unknown #23, listed above. So it's possible this is the cover my pal Bill Svitavsky has framed. He's still a degenerate freak either way, though. Just for the record.
Strange Adventures #201 - "Animal Man battles the Mod Gorilla Boss." I couldn't make this shit up if I tried, folks.
Super Friends #30 - Gorilla Grodd unleashes some kind of Gorillaficator. And the world shall be crushed beneath his prehensile feet!
Super-Friends #44 - If you've ever wanted to see an Octopus Wonder Woman or a Four-Armed Bat-Ape, have we got an issue for you!
Super-Heroes Battle Super-Gorillas #1 - The cover is nothing special, but that might be the coolest comic title of all time.
Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #98 - This is one of those Superman Is A Dick moments, where he forces Jungle Jimmy to marry a gorilla.
Tales of the Unexpected #2 - In which we learn that the way to determine if a man's mind has been placed into the body of a gorilla is to compare their handwriting. Apparently, the fact that the gorilla can write at all is not sufficient evidence.
Tomahawk #86 - More Old West gorillas! And a big 'un this time. Going by the other Tomahawk covers shown, Tomahawk befriended King Colosso and made him a member of the Rangers, but later on Colosso betrayed him. As giant gorillas always will! Remember that, kids. That's a tip from your Uncle Pete.
Turok, Son of Stone #6 - I used to love Turok! How the hell is it I never saw this issue? And kids, don't be fooled by the big gorilla's friendly expression. Remember, he will betray you!
Unknown Worlds #17 - Apparently, the Ape God turns into a cloud in this issue. It's certainly possible that would make sense if you'd read issues #1-16, but I wouldn't bet on it.
Weird War Tales #89 - Weird War Tales was quite possibly the greatest comic book of all time. As proof, I give you this issue - Nazi Gorillas! There's just no way the Allies could've stood up to that!
Zoot #10 - Not really much of a cover, but I'm a sucker for Betty Page lookalikes.
Okay, that's it. I'm done now.