۶The Secret
Title He Knew and Now He Didn't
Rating PG
Universe DGM Dressing Room
Character(s) Chase (Lavi), others by mention
Word Count 946
Warning/Notes Ngh. This is...really depressing and probably not to be taken as in-game canon.
To Chase there were no two people that he loved more anywhere than Aiden and Seren. And while he knew in the heart he was not supposed to have that Seren's love was the same way, he never knew what was really in Aiden's. He knew what came with being a meal from personal experience and didn't hold it against him... Normally. But there was always this one scent that clung to Aiden more than most, of citruses and tropical things and it was everywhere. For once Chase knew Aiden's frustration and hurry to get the scents belonging to Fourteenth or Blake off of him, a jealousy that couldn't be controlled.
At the same time Chase never asked Aiden to stop manipulating his food the way he did, or to be that close with no one but him. Chase just couldn't ask that of him, someone he considered not only his equal but someone he wouldn't ever fight. He just let Aiden keep on doing what he was doing, let him think he was keeping it all a secret from the socially-inept and relationship newbie that Chase apparently was. It felt like a knife was being twisted in his heart everytime Aiden stepped out the door to "get a meal." Something he was mastering his reactions to so that Aiden would never know how much pain those three words gave him.
Then he met him, although at the time he was little and not paying attention to things like that, only recognizing the smell at the end of the day. The second time he was able to fully recognize the Allen that Aiden had been hiding away with, but still he didn't let it out, didn't let it show. Why? Why him? And then, slowly Chase got to know him too, understood but wasn't happy with it.
If he had Allen why not take Seren and live with the tropical-smelling boy? He was better for Aiden than Chase ever would be, he was too jealous, too clingy and possessive. Even if Aiden did say that Chase was his equal the Crow was too much like the vampire in some ways. It wasn't healthy for either of them or Seren, Aiden needed someone who wasn't soured by the war. And that wasn't Chase as much as he wanted it to be. His childhood memories didn't help, the grouch was still bitterly in place.
When Aiden left he figured that Allen had won, even if Chase still had Seren. Soon she became the only thing that kept him going and Chase shifted his love to her, the one person who wouldn't leave him alone. But whenever he ran into Allen he never caught Aiden's scent, not even Seren picked it up when the younger teen held her. So they were both alone, he hadn't wanted to do that to him, someone deserved happiness in this place even if it wasn't the Crow. It seemed not even Aiden was happy with his decision to avoid everyone he might form a connection with the few times they managed to meet in the hall.
Each time Chase tried to get the vampire to at least come by and spend some time with Seren, she wasn't used to doing without both of them. The Crow wouldn't even stay in the same room during the visit, thinking if Aiden wanted them both he wouldn't have left. Or if he wanted Seren he could take her, Chase wouldn't hunt them down, he'd just let them go. Let it all go and build up those iron walls again, returning to the cold and indifferent Bookman he was supposed to be.
Even having his heart cut out didn't rid the Crow of his emotions and feelings. Honestly he hoped it would have worked, except Seren's need for a caring parent. Maybe he had sabotaged himself in the end because of it, because he knew he couldn't do that to her. Everything just hurt more after that and it frustrated Chase that he even couldn't care for Seren by himself anymore, asking for the help of the few people that he trusted. The doctors all said his arm would get better with time and rest but the thing still hurt and it was still stiff. All he had was himself to blame, perhaps for everything.
After all, if he hadn't pounced on Aiden that time when he was drunk, or helped him so earnestly when the vampire starved himself... He would have been the same old Chase and he wouldn't be this crippled, jealous, and heartbroken father. But then he also wouldn't have Seren and now he couldn't imagine a life without her, so tightly wrapped around her little finger he was. Yet when he would do anything for her, he couldn't, all because she missed her other father. Soon it was a struggle to get the girl to sleep at any hour - let alone a normal one - and sleeping in a rocking chair didn't improve his own temperament or his left arm.
And then after yelling at Aiden that Seren needed him even if it meant taking on a title he shoudln't, the vampire came back. To the both of them. Chase wasn't quite sure how to handle it all, especially after Aiden took his fragile heart and broke it. This time, he decided, he'd let Aiden set the limits of the relationship; were they just friends, soemthing more, lovers? He didn't know. And he wasn't going to ask. Chase would just take what was offered and return it, nothing less and nothing more. It wasn't about him and his wants, as far as he was concerned it was all Seren anymore.
Rating PG
Universe DGM Dressing Room
Character(s) Chase (Lavi), others by mention
Word Count 946
Warning/Notes Ngh. This is...really depressing and probably not to be taken as in-game canon.
To Chase there were no two people that he loved more anywhere than Aiden and Seren. And while he knew in the heart he was not supposed to have that Seren's love was the same way, he never knew what was really in Aiden's. He knew what came with being a meal from personal experience and didn't hold it against him... Normally. But there was always this one scent that clung to Aiden more than most, of citruses and tropical things and it was everywhere. For once Chase knew Aiden's frustration and hurry to get the scents belonging to Fourteenth or Blake off of him, a jealousy that couldn't be controlled.
At the same time Chase never asked Aiden to stop manipulating his food the way he did, or to be that close with no one but him. Chase just couldn't ask that of him, someone he considered not only his equal but someone he wouldn't ever fight. He just let Aiden keep on doing what he was doing, let him think he was keeping it all a secret from the socially-inept and relationship newbie that Chase apparently was. It felt like a knife was being twisted in his heart everytime Aiden stepped out the door to "get a meal." Something he was mastering his reactions to so that Aiden would never know how much pain those three words gave him.
Then he met him, although at the time he was little and not paying attention to things like that, only recognizing the smell at the end of the day. The second time he was able to fully recognize the Allen that Aiden had been hiding away with, but still he didn't let it out, didn't let it show. Why? Why him? And then, slowly Chase got to know him too, understood but wasn't happy with it.
If he had Allen why not take Seren and live with the tropical-smelling boy? He was better for Aiden than Chase ever would be, he was too jealous, too clingy and possessive. Even if Aiden did say that Chase was his equal the Crow was too much like the vampire in some ways. It wasn't healthy for either of them or Seren, Aiden needed someone who wasn't soured by the war. And that wasn't Chase as much as he wanted it to be. His childhood memories didn't help, the grouch was still bitterly in place.
When Aiden left he figured that Allen had won, even if Chase still had Seren. Soon she became the only thing that kept him going and Chase shifted his love to her, the one person who wouldn't leave him alone. But whenever he ran into Allen he never caught Aiden's scent, not even Seren picked it up when the younger teen held her. So they were both alone, he hadn't wanted to do that to him, someone deserved happiness in this place even if it wasn't the Crow. It seemed not even Aiden was happy with his decision to avoid everyone he might form a connection with the few times they managed to meet in the hall.
Each time Chase tried to get the vampire to at least come by and spend some time with Seren, she wasn't used to doing without both of them. The Crow wouldn't even stay in the same room during the visit, thinking if Aiden wanted them both he wouldn't have left. Or if he wanted Seren he could take her, Chase wouldn't hunt them down, he'd just let them go. Let it all go and build up those iron walls again, returning to the cold and indifferent Bookman he was supposed to be.
Even having his heart cut out didn't rid the Crow of his emotions and feelings. Honestly he hoped it would have worked, except Seren's need for a caring parent. Maybe he had sabotaged himself in the end because of it, because he knew he couldn't do that to her. Everything just hurt more after that and it frustrated Chase that he even couldn't care for Seren by himself anymore, asking for the help of the few people that he trusted. The doctors all said his arm would get better with time and rest but the thing still hurt and it was still stiff. All he had was himself to blame, perhaps for everything.
After all, if he hadn't pounced on Aiden that time when he was drunk, or helped him so earnestly when the vampire starved himself... He would have been the same old Chase and he wouldn't be this crippled, jealous, and heartbroken father. But then he also wouldn't have Seren and now he couldn't imagine a life without her, so tightly wrapped around her little finger he was. Yet when he would do anything for her, he couldn't, all because she missed her other father. Soon it was a struggle to get the girl to sleep at any hour - let alone a normal one - and sleeping in a rocking chair didn't improve his own temperament or his left arm.
And then after yelling at Aiden that Seren needed him even if it meant taking on a title he shoudln't, the vampire came back. To the both of them. Chase wasn't quite sure how to handle it all, especially after Aiden took his fragile heart and broke it. This time, he decided, he'd let Aiden set the limits of the relationship; were they just friends, soemthing more, lovers? He didn't know. And he wasn't going to ask. Chase would just take what was offered and return it, nothing less and nothing more. It wasn't about him and his wants, as far as he was concerned it was all Seren anymore.