and all this darkness past
So I had a conference call this morning at nine to discuss complicated financial thingies I had to take notes on, so I was in bed by midnight last night, hoping to get at least a full seven hours of sleep so I could feel like a human being this morning. I fell asleep pretty quickly, which is unusual for me, so things were going well! According to plan even.
I think we all know how this story goes.
I was awake from 2:51 am until 4:36 am (at least - the next time I saw the clock it was 6:11 am). Urgh.
Luckily, the conference call was relatively painless, as was a huge big work thing I was panicked about, but which has suddenly become manageable. I mean, it's still going to be ridiculous amounts of stress? But my boss is not annoyed with me (I am only the intermediary), and also, there are things which are beyond my control, and that includes our auditors and when they will actually get us bound copies of our audit, but I am on top of everything else I need to be on top of. So whew.
I know most of my anxiety is of my own making, of me building small things up until they seem scary and insurmountable, and then I procrastinate on doing them, which only makes it worse, and during the daylight hours I've gotten pretty good at reining that tendency in, redirecting it elsewhere (and not letting things go for so long so they can't build up that looming dread), but at 3 am on a Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, my brain just wants to run along those tracks over and over again, spiraling down into "you're a failure" and "you're going to end up jobless and homeless and friendless" and almost nothing can derail it. I took a benadryl even though it was really too late for it and I'd be really fuzzy in the morning (I was, but it wasn't terrible), and it still took over an hour to get back to sleep.
And that was probably more than you ever wanted to know about my neuroses. *cough*
***
Watched Glee last night. How very meta of them. *rolls eyes* Otoh, Sue! How I have missed you! Everyone else, not so much. Finn and Will still need to go die in a fire. I wish they hadn't let Finn rap at all during "Empire State of Mind." I'm sorry, but no. That should have been all Puck and Artie. Also, man, I generally like/feel bad for Rachel, but not last night. Ugh. I liked the new coach and think the new boy is really unattractive. I was hoping Sunshine would stay, but alas. I did enjoy her and Rachel singing in the ladies room. Unfortunately, "What I Did for Love" has been stuck in my head since last night.
***
So if you were going to pimp somebody into Fringe and you could only show them 8-10 episodes out of the first two seasons, which ones would you pick?
***
This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/221334.html.
people have commented there.
I think we all know how this story goes.
I was awake from 2:51 am until 4:36 am (at least - the next time I saw the clock it was 6:11 am). Urgh.
Luckily, the conference call was relatively painless, as was a huge big work thing I was panicked about, but which has suddenly become manageable. I mean, it's still going to be ridiculous amounts of stress? But my boss is not annoyed with me (I am only the intermediary), and also, there are things which are beyond my control, and that includes our auditors and when they will actually get us bound copies of our audit, but I am on top of everything else I need to be on top of. So whew.
I know most of my anxiety is of my own making, of me building small things up until they seem scary and insurmountable, and then I procrastinate on doing them, which only makes it worse, and during the daylight hours I've gotten pretty good at reining that tendency in, redirecting it elsewhere (and not letting things go for so long so they can't build up that looming dread), but at 3 am on a Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, my brain just wants to run along those tracks over and over again, spiraling down into "you're a failure" and "you're going to end up jobless and homeless and friendless" and almost nothing can derail it. I took a benadryl even though it was really too late for it and I'd be really fuzzy in the morning (I was, but it wasn't terrible), and it still took over an hour to get back to sleep.
And that was probably more than you ever wanted to know about my neuroses. *cough*
***
Watched Glee last night. How very meta of them. *rolls eyes* Otoh, Sue! How I have missed you! Everyone else, not so much. Finn and Will still need to go die in a fire. I wish they hadn't let Finn rap at all during "Empire State of Mind." I'm sorry, but no. That should have been all Puck and Artie. Also, man, I generally like/feel bad for Rachel, but not last night. Ugh. I liked the new coach and think the new boy is really unattractive. I was hoping Sunshine would stay, but alas. I did enjoy her and Rachel singing in the ladies room. Unfortunately, "What I Did for Love" has been stuck in my head since last night.
***
So if you were going to pimp somebody into Fringe and you could only show them 8-10 episodes out of the first two seasons, which ones would you pick?
***
This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/221334.html.
people have commented there.