that's why I love you when I do not love you

Oct 21, 2009 10:52

Still not feeling 100%, but the fever is gone, so I'm back at work. Man, as much as I hate the idea of being tethered to a crackberry, I think it might be preferable in these situations to having to wade through all the email when I come back. Ugh.

I am in a bit of a funk, I guess, but this morning I keep telling myself that I'm going to do one thing at a time and cross it off the list and if I don't get to everything today, there's always tomorrow. I don't even know. I think part of it must be PMS. I really hope it's not the winter blues starting really early. That would be unfortunate.

As I was sorting through everything, I was struck by a sudden, strong urge to rewatch "Full Moon." Kellerman and Lewis and the boot. Reverend Horton Heat on the soundtrack. That was such a good episode. (I wrote a story riffing on it because it seemed tailor-made for Winchesters.) Sigh. I really need to do a HLotS rewatch sometime soon.

I watched The Good Wife last night, and I want to like it a lot more than I actually like it. I think it's well done, but it doesn't really engage me. On the other hand, the revelation of Will's background as a minor league pitcher is exactly the kind of thing that makes me want to like the show.

Now I want the Sports Night AU where Danny was a minor league pitcher instead of a sports writer/anchor. Casey could be the guy who wasn't actually more talented but for some reason seemed to get more breaks (I like Casey. I do. I just... he's not Dan and he was mean to Dan and I don't hold with that). Isaac could be the crusty old manager who's seen it all. Dana and Natalie could be reporters trying to break into the big time and stuck covering a minor league team. Jeremy could be ... I don't know - a front office guy obsessed with Sabermetrics? The anxiety-ridden shortstop?

It would be awesome! It could be Dan/Casey, though I don't really ship them, or gen, or whatever. You know you want to read that! You should totally write it for me.

***

I should get back to work now, but have another poem:

Sonnet XLIV

You must know that I do not love and that I love you,
because everything alive has its two sides;
a word is one wing of the silence,
fire has its cold half.

I love you in order to begin to love you,
to start infinity again
and never to stop loving you:
that's why I do not love you yet.

I love you, and I do not love you, as if I held
keys in my hand: to a future of joy-
a wretched, muddled fate-

My love has two lives, in order to love you:
that's why I love you when I do not love you,
and also why I love you when I do.

~Pablo Neruda
(trans. unknown)

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/84353.html.
people have commented there.

tv: hlots, tv: miscellaneous, poetry, you should totally write that, tv: sports night

Previous post Next post
Up