petronelle gave me these five things:
1. Sekrit Incest Babies
2. Life in the Big City
3. Openness about Fannishness
4. Werewolves
5. Prodigious Amounts of Writing
1. Sekrit Incest Babies
Bwahahahahaha! I feel like my lasting fannish legacy will be having my name associated with this phrase. I am surprisingly okay with that. I think it's the kind of thing you either embrace and find awesome and hiliarious, or you find gross and ishy (or, in some cases, if you're doing it right, a combination of the two.)
Okay, see, the thing is, I have a great love of romance novel tropes - marriages of convenience, the duke and the governess, "make her hate me, because I can't marry her", etc. and sekrit babies are one of those tropes - couple has a brief, secret affair but then for some reason, they must separate! possibly one thinks the other is dead! and then the woman finds out she's pregnant, and has the baby and raises it, and then a few years later, the man comes roaring back into her life, and wacky complications ensue.
I just added the incest on top of that because, well, Dean + kids = WIN, and also because I actually dreamt about it, and then couldn't get the idea of out my head. The hardest part wasn't the pregnancy or the incest or making Sam a girl, obviously. No, the hardest part was keeping Sam and Dean separated for long enough for her to actually have a baby and raise it for a couple of years. Making that believable was tough, but since it was necessary for the whole premise to work, it had to be done. (Whether it works I leave as an exercise for the reader.)
There is something hilarious and yet visceral about the scene where the woman finally tells the man about the kid being his, about the introduction of the absent father, and I really wanted to play with that, the whole, "Johnny, this is your daddy," thing.
Otoh, while I was writing, I was really sad that Dean had missed out on the excitement and anticipation of the pregnancy and then all the great and terrifying things that come along with having a baby, because I think Dean would make a stellar dad, so I am still contemplating writing a non-sekrit incest baby story. Because you know Dean would be all over that, and Sam would just be like, "Dude, you act like you're the first guy to ever knock a woman up," and this is a genre of fiction that I have never ever found attractive, and yet when it's Dean Winchester, I am all over it.
What can I say? At least I own my id?
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2. Life in the Big City
I've lived in New York City my whole life. I grew up in Ozone Park, Queens, and moved into Manhattan seven years ago. I really can't imagine living anywhere else. I mean, there are other cities I could love, but I am very provincial in that none of them would be MY city.
There's just something wonderfully alive about walking down the street in New York City - on one of those unexpectedly warm days in February, or when it's a beautiful spring day in March, or a cold crisp night in November - there's an energy, a powerful belief that anything could happen at any moment, and that even though we don't know each other, on that street in that moment, we are all in this together. It's corny, but I do feel like my heart swells with love sometimes when I walk down the street, even when I'm just going to CVS or picking up my laundry or whatever. I find it energizing, even though it is also very fatiguing sometimes to live here.
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3. Openness about Fannishness
Aside from my employers, who don't need to know - and this goes for both the new job (eee!) and the old one - everyone in my life knows about my fannish involvement, and the members of my immediate family even know about the gay incestuous porn bits, as well (well, the little kids don't know about the porn, but they know I write stories). When I first got into fandom, it was on my dad's old PC, and once I got the hang of newsgroups, he would ask me to find out spoilers for him for his shows.
I think what makes it easier is that they are all pretty fannish in some way or another (sports, movies, music, crafts etc.) so that there isn't really a difference in the emotional aspect. I mean, my brother owns season tickets for the Giants; everyone in his family owns a Giants jersey; they named their dog after Justin Tuck (a player on the Giants).
My parents are very into their shows, and always have been sff readers and watchers. (These days, my dad asks me for New Who spoilers.) My non-media-fandom friends are generally big movie and sports buffs as well, the kinds of folks who will sit in a bar and throw Simpsons quotes at each other all night, or be able to name every Best Picture winner ever, or describe every episode of Cheers. The kinds of folks who play fantasy football or baseball or World of Warcraft.
In that kind of atmosphere, it's really not hard to admit that you maybe write stories about TV characters. Who maybe have sex with each other sometimes. Even if they're related. Or underage. Or gay wizards. Or whatever.
My mom was my first beta when I started writing fic, and actually,
fleurdeleo also betaed for me, even though at the time she was my boss.
Pretty much nobody in my family or my offline circle of friends is interested in reading this LJ or my stories - my eldest niece has read some of my lower-rated HP stuff, and my LJ and site are bookmarked on my dad's PC, and my brother did ask me that one time if I were going to write some hot girl on girl action about the new Bionic Woman (which I actually, um, did write, but I would never ever share with him, because ew) - so that makes it easier as well. If they are following along, I don't know it, and think we're all happier that way.
Otoh, they have all listened to me bitch about the story I am writing or about remix or about whatever ridiculous fannish wank is going on at the moment, so it's not like there's a lot I keep separate.
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4. Werewolves
I prefer werewolves to vampires. I am so over vampires, it's not even funny. My favorite werewolves are Oz and Remus, obviously, and I love both of them very, very much (as well as the flightly, angry, dark-haired boys who love them; I never expected to be a Xander/Oz shipper, but there it is - my happy warm comfort pairing; Remus/Sirius, otoh, is practically canon). I like the stoicism and the quiet humor and strength of them. No broody emo here, even though they have it worse in a lot of ways than any vampire. ♥
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5. Prodigious Amounts of Writing
My old job was very quiet (pre-July 2008 when I was given a whole 'nother group of people to support) and I had to look like I was working, so writing was a good way to fill the time. I miss that. I am pretty sure I am not going to be able to do it at new job, so my output is going to fall off even more until I figure out how to balance everything - new job, longer commute, not being able to write at work, etc. But basically, the secret to writing a lot, for me, was to have a lot of time to write in, and not a lot of other options - can't marathon dvds or read books or magazines at work, and I had to be on the computer looking busy, so. that's really the only explanation. That, and I used to stay up really late when I got on a roll, because work was so quiet, so it didn't matter much if I'd only had four or five hours of sleep. I am going to have to learn to manage my time better now, along with my money. We'll see how it goes.
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