who's to blame if you're not around?
Every so often, we play a game here in this LJ entitled "I won't read your fic if..." and now that I've been hanging around Supernatural fandom for... god, six months now, I've discovered I have a new list of things that will make me click out of a story. Most of these are content-related - the standard spelling/grammar/formatting stuff still applies, but that never changes, so I'm not repeating it here - and some of them surprised me. Most of them are not rational. I'm not looking for you to recommend stories to change my mind, so please don't.
1. Deathfic.
I do not want to read about Sam or Dean carrying on after one of them has died, unless the death was from old age and suffered peacefully in sleep. You may think that's kind of ridiculous, coming from me, with my kink for stories about grief, but, no. Mostly, when I write about grief (and when I want to read about it), the death has taken place in canon - Sirius, Wash, Patroclus, etc. I know devildoll is shaking her head right now over the number of times I killed Rogue off in XMM, but I seem to have given up on writing those kinds of stories, and I certainly don't want to read them in SPN. Sam mourning for Jess? Yes. Sam and Dean mourning for John? Yes. John mourning for Mary? Yes. One of the boys dying? No. Don't wanna, and you can't make me.
2. Impugning the Impala.
Okay, I, like most of SPN fandom, have a rather unnaturally strong attachment to the Impala, and anytime she's denigrated in a story *by* the story (rather than by, say, Sam, looking to get a dig in at Dean), that it's implied or stated outright that she's ever let Dean down, I ... no. I refuse to believe it. This is not the same, obviously, as implying - or stating outright - that maybe they should leave her behind for a while, 'cause she stands out and attracts attention. That's just common sense. I am willing to live with the fact that they don't on the show because she's awesome, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't have considered it on the show, or in fic. But insulting her? That's a fight in my neighborhood.
3. Stupid Dean
The man built an EMF meter out of a Walkman. He rebuilt the Impala. He's been hunting for a long time, and he's not dead yet (not for lack of trying). He's rash, aggressive, and occasionally over-confident, but he is not stupid. I realize that early on, the show itself seemed to reinforce this idea, and occasionally for exposition purposes, it's still dragged out, but I will take things from the show that I will not take from fic, and this is one of them. He may not have the booksmarts Sam does, but he's not dumb, and I won't read stories where he is (showing him as a secret reader, otoh... I am *so* there).
4. Future Rifts
Stories where, after they've killed the YED, Sam and Dean somehow either drift apart or have a big falling out. No no no. Unlike Dean, I don't require that they live in the same car for the next fifty years, but it is possible to have a close, functioning relationship with a sibling where you see them for a weekly poker game or barbecue or something - this is the gen version, obviously.
I might be interested in reading a story where they had been involved in a sexual relationship and it ended badly sometime in the future, and then they had to deal with repairing their sibling/friendly relationship afterwards. But I'd have to trust the author a lot. Or I'd have to write it myself. Hmm...
5. Non-hunting Dean.
I can't even. I want so badly for Dean to rededicate himself to hunting, to find it as a calling within himself again - saving people, hunting things - that I don't want to read about him willingly giving it up. Do I think he can/could/should find a home base and maybe spend less time on the road? Maybe. Do I think he could even, Agent Henriksen notwithstanding, find a 'real' job that is compatible with hunting somehow, so he doesn't have to also engage in constant credit card fraud, and maybe split his time between the two? I think it could be interesting, yeah, especially if they do get their names cleared or are able to start over with new identities. But having Dean give up hunting completely, while he's still physically able to do it, hurts me. On the show, I want him to come through this dark period stronger and more dedicated to his cause, not turning his back on it for some semblance of the normalcy he's disdained all these years.
6. Disability stories
I know some people have a kink for this, but I just... I'm not interested. I mean, I'm *really* not interested. I don't want to read about Dean learning to live in a wheelchair, or Sam dealing with blindness. This ties in with both 1 and 5. I want to read about Sam and Dean doing what they do, not not being able to do it.
7. Mpreg.
This fandom has broken me with genderswap and wingfic, but I am holding the line at mpreg. I do not like it, Sam-I-Am.
Obviously, mileage varies, and if you like any of these things, more power to you. It just so happens that I don't. That's why they make chocolate, and that's why they make vanilla.
***
1. Deathfic.
I do not want to read about Sam or Dean carrying on after one of them has died, unless the death was from old age and suffered peacefully in sleep. You may think that's kind of ridiculous, coming from me, with my kink for stories about grief, but, no. Mostly, when I write about grief (and when I want to read about it), the death has taken place in canon - Sirius, Wash, Patroclus, etc. I know devildoll is shaking her head right now over the number of times I killed Rogue off in XMM, but I seem to have given up on writing those kinds of stories, and I certainly don't want to read them in SPN. Sam mourning for Jess? Yes. Sam and Dean mourning for John? Yes. John mourning for Mary? Yes. One of the boys dying? No. Don't wanna, and you can't make me.
2. Impugning the Impala.
Okay, I, like most of SPN fandom, have a rather unnaturally strong attachment to the Impala, and anytime she's denigrated in a story *by* the story (rather than by, say, Sam, looking to get a dig in at Dean), that it's implied or stated outright that she's ever let Dean down, I ... no. I refuse to believe it. This is not the same, obviously, as implying - or stating outright - that maybe they should leave her behind for a while, 'cause she stands out and attracts attention. That's just common sense. I am willing to live with the fact that they don't on the show because she's awesome, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't have considered it on the show, or in fic. But insulting her? That's a fight in my neighborhood.
3. Stupid Dean
The man built an EMF meter out of a Walkman. He rebuilt the Impala. He's been hunting for a long time, and he's not dead yet (not for lack of trying). He's rash, aggressive, and occasionally over-confident, but he is not stupid. I realize that early on, the show itself seemed to reinforce this idea, and occasionally for exposition purposes, it's still dragged out, but I will take things from the show that I will not take from fic, and this is one of them. He may not have the booksmarts Sam does, but he's not dumb, and I won't read stories where he is (showing him as a secret reader, otoh... I am *so* there).
4. Future Rifts
Stories where, after they've killed the YED, Sam and Dean somehow either drift apart or have a big falling out. No no no. Unlike Dean, I don't require that they live in the same car for the next fifty years, but it is possible to have a close, functioning relationship with a sibling where you see them for a weekly poker game or barbecue or something - this is the gen version, obviously.
I might be interested in reading a story where they had been involved in a sexual relationship and it ended badly sometime in the future, and then they had to deal with repairing their sibling/friendly relationship afterwards. But I'd have to trust the author a lot. Or I'd have to write it myself. Hmm...
5. Non-hunting Dean.
I can't even. I want so badly for Dean to rededicate himself to hunting, to find it as a calling within himself again - saving people, hunting things - that I don't want to read about him willingly giving it up. Do I think he can/could/should find a home base and maybe spend less time on the road? Maybe. Do I think he could even, Agent Henriksen notwithstanding, find a 'real' job that is compatible with hunting somehow, so he doesn't have to also engage in constant credit card fraud, and maybe split his time between the two? I think it could be interesting, yeah, especially if they do get their names cleared or are able to start over with new identities. But having Dean give up hunting completely, while he's still physically able to do it, hurts me. On the show, I want him to come through this dark period stronger and more dedicated to his cause, not turning his back on it for some semblance of the normalcy he's disdained all these years.
6. Disability stories
I know some people have a kink for this, but I just... I'm not interested. I mean, I'm *really* not interested. I don't want to read about Dean learning to live in a wheelchair, or Sam dealing with blindness. This ties in with both 1 and 5. I want to read about Sam and Dean doing what they do, not not being able to do it.
7. Mpreg.
This fandom has broken me with genderswap and wingfic, but I am holding the line at mpreg. I do not like it, Sam-I-Am.
Obviously, mileage varies, and if you like any of these things, more power to you. It just so happens that I don't. That's why they make chocolate, and that's why they make vanilla.
***