(no subject)
[He hasn't been able to leave his bed. Not since he woke up. And honestly a bit of him wonders if he'll leave it again. He doesn't want to, after all, there wasn't really much else out there for him. He had lost his brother and now he's lost someone he loved probably more than he should have. So much heartbreak and loneliness, that keen sound of loss. Of a hole in one's heart...
He should have listened, Allen knew he should have. But he was so happy. Sososo happy. He had someone that would last through the years with him... No worries of losing them to death. But he was gone. Not the gone that would bring them back, no. But a total gone. As if he had never been there at all. All of Lavi's books were gone. All the little touches around the house that he had put in. His scent. The only thing that remained was the gift of a white gold ring clenched in Allen's hand.
Allen had stared at it for hours when he first woke, tears pouring down his face until he was sure there wasn't any more liquid in his body. It was almost as if he was trying to will Lavi to appear. But it wasn't working. It never would... And now his eyes were all red and swollen from crying, dry from having not a tear left to cry.
More than once he tried to remind himself of his family, those he had adopted, tried to make himself remember that he had to live for them. Had to. They cared about him, too. But his thoughts kept drifting back to the redhead that he had made his anchor to keep from slipping. Slipping into that side that Rhode had warned him about. The one that didn't care. The one that was lost...
He was so lost right now. Huddled in his bed with Kila curled up in his arms, Tim and Myka perched on the bed in front and clinging with their tiny arms.]
He should have listened, Allen knew he should have. But he was so happy. Sososo happy. He had someone that would last through the years with him... No worries of losing them to death. But he was gone. Not the gone that would bring them back, no. But a total gone. As if he had never been there at all. All of Lavi's books were gone. All the little touches around the house that he had put in. His scent. The only thing that remained was the gift of a white gold ring clenched in Allen's hand.
Allen had stared at it for hours when he first woke, tears pouring down his face until he was sure there wasn't any more liquid in his body. It was almost as if he was trying to will Lavi to appear. But it wasn't working. It never would... And now his eyes were all red and swollen from crying, dry from having not a tear left to cry.
More than once he tried to remind himself of his family, those he had adopted, tried to make himself remember that he had to live for them. Had to. They cared about him, too. But his thoughts kept drifting back to the redhead that he had made his anchor to keep from slipping. Slipping into that side that Rhode had warned him about. The one that didn't care. The one that was lost...
He was so lost right now. Huddled in his bed with Kila curled up in his arms, Tim and Myka perched on the bed in front and clinging with their tiny arms.]