(no subject)
the face i know holds the place in the book i hold
the one that saves a million
but has yet to save me.
if you can stay strong and go on believing,
why cant i?
last night, i stayed awake until 5:30 writting and drawing, listening to old cds (like Mariah carey and jewel and hootie and joan)... so much came flooding back.
i know megans worried, but, im not that person.
today, talking to brandi, i made a huge realization... by promising people to 'behave', ive been destroying myself... ive been ripping little pieces of me off and throwing them away... and why? so other people would think i was ok....
but thats bullshit... for the last 2 weeks, ive been doing what i wanted, knowing the consequences, knowing that it isnt neccarily right, but doing it anyway... funny thing is, i've felt better than i have for a long...
kaite called today, and we talked for 2 hours. recalling the good days and the bad days, and just, being dumb giggly teenage girls. that was nice. then jesse came on the phone, drunk as usual, and complaining that it was so much harder to find someone in the real world than in school... and how maybe he should stop drinking and get a better job and accually look for a person instead of a piece of ass... wierd thing is... i might believe him this time... probably not, but, maybe.
a lots been going on around here... but its sorta pointless to write about it... i might just cancel this thing... if people want to know something, they can ask... this is fake.
the one that saves a million
but has yet to save me.
if you can stay strong and go on believing,
why cant i?
last night, i stayed awake until 5:30 writting and drawing, listening to old cds (like Mariah carey and jewel and hootie and joan)... so much came flooding back.
i know megans worried, but, im not that person.
today, talking to brandi, i made a huge realization... by promising people to 'behave', ive been destroying myself... ive been ripping little pieces of me off and throwing them away... and why? so other people would think i was ok....
but thats bullshit... for the last 2 weeks, ive been doing what i wanted, knowing the consequences, knowing that it isnt neccarily right, but doing it anyway... funny thing is, i've felt better than i have for a long...
kaite called today, and we talked for 2 hours. recalling the good days and the bad days, and just, being dumb giggly teenage girls. that was nice. then jesse came on the phone, drunk as usual, and complaining that it was so much harder to find someone in the real world than in school... and how maybe he should stop drinking and get a better job and accually look for a person instead of a piece of ass... wierd thing is... i might believe him this time... probably not, but, maybe.
a lots been going on around here... but its sorta pointless to write about it... i might just cancel this thing... if people want to know something, they can ask... this is fake.