Unintended - Part 5
I couldn’t tell how long it had been when I woke up, all I knew; I was in a lot of pain. Even the smallest movements made me cringe, each breath delivering a sharp pain to my side. A cold liquid was administered into my veins via a drip, mostly likely to be morphine which wasn’t doing its job. I roughly made out voices sounding like they were far away, but at the same time within touching distance. I opened my eyes only to see my vision was blurred and unfocused. I tried to move my arm to rub my eye, but the pain became too excruciating before even getting it above my stomach.
“Easy Marcus, take it slow for the moment.” A voice spoke, and I assumed it was the same person lightly pushing down on my arm so I wouldn’t move it. The foreign feeling made my muscle tense.
I opened my mouth to try and speak with the stranger and was met only with a strong metallic taste. Blood? My tongue flicked around my teeth and gums frantically, finding no alterations to the soft tissue. I tried to recall what had happened, but was met with the same thing I could see - nothing but a blur.
Two people chatted away, their voices still nothing but ringing in my ears, it sounded like gibberish to me, they could have been speaking another language for all I cared. I looked around the room hastily, roughly guessing there were at least five people in the room, but I could have mistaken anything, it was all still just a blur of colour.
Suddenly a light flashed across my eye and my vision slowly came back to focus. It was a torch waving across my face, a man in a dark suit responsible for holding it, who was most likely the doctor. I felt like passing out again, the pain slowly creeping back into my consciousness as he turned off the light.
“Fuck.” I muttered, forgetting about anything but the pain slowly creeping from my ribs, each breath becoming harder and harder like someone was pushing down on my lungs.
“Marcus!” I heard my mother’s familiar voice, only she would object to me swearing, even if it was in extreme pain.
“Ouch! Just fucking...” A shadow started to cloud over my vision as the pain intensified. When I was about to black out again, the cold liquid was injected in my vein again and I felt a relief almost instantly.
“How does that feel Marcus?” The man in the suit questioned me. “Is the pain starting to wear off?”
“Slightly.” I mumbled, rolling my head back on the hospital pillow and looking up at the ceiling, the plainness of it allowing me to focus.
“Do you remember what happened at all?” The man in the suit continued. He only seemed vaguely aware of my difficulty to breathe.
I tried moving my arm again to rub my eye and I winced as I had to shift slightly, the pain coming out strong from my rib. It felt broken, but I couldn’t recall how it had happened. My memory still felt clouded and I could only recall a basic outline of what had taken place before I saw black. What had happened?
“Marcus?” The doctor noticed I had taken awhile to respond and was inclined to bring me back down, out of my hazy dream world.
“I was in a fight, don’t remember much else.” I kept trying to put the memory together in my head, but it was no use, just a blur, the effort giving me a headache.
“Looks like temporary amnesia, it should wear off in a few days.” The dark suited man nodded. He placed the clipboard he was holding at the end of the bed, had a word with someone out of my view and left. It might have seemed odd to me to see him leave so soon, but everyone else seemed fine with it. How long had I been out?
Mum came straight over as the doctor left and hugged me like I could die at any moment. Her arms avoided the right side of my body. She only backed off when I winced, the pain in my side spreading. It still confused me about what had happened.
“Are you alright?” She apologised profusely.
“Mum, I’m fine. Just wish I knew why it hurt so much.” I rubbed over my rib gently, but even with the smallest amount of pressure it was still very painful.
“Tyler broke your rib.” A voice said from a distance, I couldn’t look up, but they sounded familiar. Their shy British accent making my body feel limp.
I pulled my shirt up slowly and looked down to see my ribs heavily bandaged. It couldn’t have just been broken, could it? I pulled up one of the bandages and there was a bloodied gauze underneath it. I started to pick at it when mum’s hand slapped my mine away, causing me to push into the wound which made me cringe.
“Ow!” I screamed, taking my hands immediately away from the wound.
“Don’t pick it.” Mum ordered, her face turning straight from soft and caring to very serious.
“Ok, ok I get it. So if I broke it, why is it bleeding? Actually can anyone just tell me exactly what happened? That’s all I wanna know.” I stuttered, grouching in frustration. All I wanted was a straight answer, nothing else.
The same person who spoke up before moved forward and was standing at the end of the bed. I focused all my attention on them, but my eyes were still clouded, I could only make out the dark hair on their head. “After the fight with Tyler you blacked out, the school called for an ambulance and they took you to the hospital. You had a broken rib and internal bleeding so they had to operate and you contracted a minor infection after the operation.”
“How long have I been in hospital?” I laid my head back onto the pillow, feeling my neck starting to tense up. My body felt out of my control. I felt completely confused about how I should take the news. I still had no memory of what happened, like someone had locked a door in my memories.
“Almost two weeks.” Mum answered kissing my forehead. The concern in her voice was undeniably terrifying.
I felt one of the memories starting to slowly crawl back into my mind. All it was, was a face. A soft, warm and loveable face. It seemed familiar. Bright blue eyes, dark hair, a nose that was slightly crooked, but all at the same time it was beautiful. All the features separately may not have been perfect, but it worked.
“Matt?” My thoughts slipped into words, though I was unsure who I was talking too. My eyes ran rapidly around the room, unfocused on anything and yet still focused on everything. I felt like I wanted to explode, conflicts of pain and memories putting a huge strain on my brain.
The figure standing at the end of the bed walked closer and stood next to my mum, his features matching the one from my memory. Was he the one I was trying to protect? It was all so unclear, no matter how many times I tried to remember it. He smiled at me warmly, a sense of doubt crossing his face, followed by worry. Had I hurt him?
“Yeah.” He mumbled shyly, his fingers curling into mine. My skin prickled at his warm touch. I knew I felt something for him, but the pain denied any recollection.
What was I going to say? I still couldn’t recall how he fitted into all this, nor any relation I had to him. A friend? No, I didn’t have a friend named Matt. The thought continued to scratch at my brain, making the pain intensify. I caught a glimpse of the look on Matt’s face, a different kind of pain washing over me. His eyes looked hurt, the blue not as bright or intense as I had seen it before.
“Sorry, but visiting hours are over. I will have to ask you to leave.” The nurse saving me from a rather uncomfortable situation as she gestured for my mother and Matt to leave, not all the money in the world able to bend the hospital rules. She shuffled the blankets on my bed after they had left, the warm feeling Matt had left replaced with cold sheets. “I bet you’re happy to be awake.” Her wide smile made me doubt she just wanted to strike up conversation.
“No, not really. You don’t realise time passing by when you’re asleep.” It wasn’t really a lie, but a ruse to get her to shut up and go away. I just wanted to go back to sleep and be over with this nightmare, the pain be done with.
“So was that boy your brother?” She continued to talk, not getting the message.
“I don’t know. I can’t remember who he was.” I muttered, a wave of guilt passing over me. I should have known him. “But he wasn’t my brother.”
“Shame, you two do look a little similar.”
Minus the height difference, body shape, eye pigment colouration, facial features. The only thing remotely similar was the colour of our hair, but I had been right about her - shallow - to think she was trying to hit on me in my condition. I could barely move my arms without intense pain taking over.
I rolled as far as I could onto my side, the broken rib allowing for no more than a shift in my shoulders, moving my weight causing too much pain. I slumped my head onto the pillow and waited to drift off to sleep, ignoring the nurse. I’m sure she continued to ramble about something but I was already starting to black out.
-----
“Matt, is there something up?” Dom was the first one to notice I hadn’t spoken up all break. The previous two weeks had been the same, but today I was just silent. Frankly, I didn’t even known what the rest of the group was discussing.
“It’s nothing.” I pouted, holding my backpack in my arms and resting my head on top of it.
“Come on Matt, I know there is something wrong. We’ve been friends forever, I know when you are lying, so just tell me already.” I sighed in defeat. He would get it out of me even if I didn’t want him to.
I threw a glance towards the others sitting on the bench next to us. I had slowly grown attached to all of them since Marcus was admitted to the hospital. Now Dominic and Chris were as much my friends as they were his. Sometimes I preferred to talk to them over Dom or Tom. They had saved me from a few close calls when the whole school had my picture with Marcus circulated on their phones. If they caught someone making any snide comments towards me, all they had to do was appear and the one-off bully’s were gone. At first it had been awkward, knowing the whole school knew my secret - something my parents still didn’t know. Now it was like something of the past. It still scratched at the back of mind everyday that if Dominic and Chris weren’t around the teasing would start again.
“Marcus woke up last night,” I muttered so softly that Dom had a hard enough time hearing it over the general volume of the school yard, Dominic making it extra difficult with his constant rambling.
“Shouldn’t you be happy?” I shrugged, Dom’s response coming at no surprise. I still didn’t want to talk about it. “So what’s wrong?”
I paused for a moment, taking in a breath of air. I noticed two girls looking in my direction, disgust on their face, a look I had seen a lot the last two weeks. Some of them were just outright homophobes, very few at the least, the majority of the others usually glared at me when they saw me talking to Dom. Somehow they had gotten the wrong idea that I was cheating on Marcus.
“I am happy, but you didn’t see him yesterday, he didn’t even know who I was.” My face completely buried into my bag now, I didn’t even hear the bell ring, deciding I was skipping class anyway. My teachers had gotten use to my behaviour recently since they knew my relationship with Marcus - no one in the school didn’t know. “The doctors say he has temporary amnesia. I just don’t want it to be something worse.” A tear trickled down my cheek. I felt a hand rest of my shoulder, much too big to be Dom’s.
“I can take you home if you’d like.” Chris smiled at me. Had he overheard Dom and I talking? “I’ve got a free class now and I know Marcus’ parents are heading over to the hospital later.” I nodded not wanting to speak up as I rubbed my eyes, clearing away the tears.
“I’ll catch you later.” Dom gave me a warm smile. “Let me know how it goes at the hospital.” He headed off to his next class with Tom, Dominic following close behind them.
Chris walked me to the front door of Marcus’ house, staying at my side even after we had gotten out of his car. Both of us hesitated, Chris eventually raising his hand and knocking on the door. A moment later it swung open, Sarah stepping forward and greeting us with a polite “Hello.”
“I haven’t seen you around for a while Chris,” She let the two of us in, the bigger teen leading in front of me, his hands casually tucked in his pockets. “You and Dominic aren’t up to your old tricks again, are you?”
“I’ve been pretty busy lately Mum has me babysitting.” The brawny Chris sounded like he enjoyed it. “Dominic hasn’t changed a bit though.” A husky laugh escaped his lips.
“And how have you been Matthew?” Her words polite as always. I had almost accepted her as a second Mum since I was spending more time at Marcus’ house rather than my own.
“I’m good, I guess.” I bit my lip, not sure what expression to wear. I was far from good, I hadn’t even been sure how I felt for the past two weeks. All my emotions seemed to be the same, revolving around the worst of them, one extreme to another. I could see Sarah saw the doubt on my face as she invited us further into the house.
“I can’t stay.” Chris stuck his thumb back gesturing at the door. “I’ve got to get back to school before my next class starts.” He flashed us a short smile before stepping back outside. I didn’t even get a chance to thank him.
“Would you like something to eat?” Sarah flashed me the same smile Marcus had on a few occasions. He looked so much like her, which only made it hurt so much more.
“I’m not that hungry.”
“Did you want to talk?” Her motherly instincts took over, something about Marcus missing made me think she was more loving than usual.
“Actually, I was wondering if I could visit Marcus. I know you see him every night, but I just...” I really had no idea what to say. I missed him and everything in me burned to see him.
“Sure, sweetie.”
Sarah had left me unaccompanied in the hospital, knowing I wanted to speak to Marcus alone. Another thing that I loved about his family; they knew when not to ask questions. I hovered outside his ward for a good ten minutes before nervously deciding to step in, his eyes catching mine immediately. At least he looked better than the previous night, he wasn’t hollering in pain.
“Hi.” I managed to mutter shyly, Marcus not taking his eyes off me as I stepped closer to the bed. Doubt clouded my mind again. I didn’t want to just hear my name muttered purposely, I wanted to know that he knew who I was.
Another step closer and Marcus still hadn’t said anything. His gray eyes gazed at me, but his expression was too hard to read. I tried to focus on something positive, his dark messy hair catching my interest. Serious bed head was an understatement, it looked like it hadn’t been touched for days even though it had been neat when I saw him yesterday. Stubble was also starting to show around his chin, the five o’clock shadow making him look years older.
“Is there something wrong?” The words rolled so easily off his tongue.
I leant against the end of the bed, keeping my back to the curious eyed Marcus. I felt like I couldn’t face him, I didn’t want to hear that he didn’t know me again. The pain would be too much for me to bare, my mind already in a fragile state.
“Matt?” There was my name again, nothing in his voice suggesting that he knew anything more. I took in a deep breath, ready to leave the room. “Matt?” He repeated my name, this time his foot gently tapping against my back, the gesture making the hairs on the back of my neck stick up as heat consumed my body. “Are you going to tell me?” I turned my gaze in his direction, his eyes washed with concern.
That was the Marcus I knew, the charming boy who looked out for me. I still didn’t know why he cared so much, we were both from different sides of the social circle. He gave up popularity just so he could be with me, he really wasn’t as shallow as he looked, like he told me the first time he saved me from Tyler. I felt nostalgic thinking about the moment, remembering how overjoyed I was for him to step in. But I hadn’t been able to thank him, only grumble or shy away from his intimidating confidence.
I stepped closer to the top of the bed and tucked my legs under the blanket as I hopped into the bed next to him. “No.” I muttered quietly, resting my head on his shoulder. I didn’t care what the doctors or nurses would think when they next walked into the room - I wasn’t moving. I wanted to be next to Marcus, I needed to be curled in his arms, safe from the rest of the world.
Marcus slipped his arm underneath my back, holding me closer, his other arm slowly shifting over and tangling in my hair. His body felt so warm next to mine under the tightly tucked blanket. I tried to move my hand onto his stomach but he winced as soon as I got too close to his broken rib. I couldn’t even imagine the pain he would be in if it wasn’t for the medication the doctors had prescribed.
“Easy,” He chuckled. His expression couldn’t have been more loveable. “It still hurts.” He traced his fingers under my chin, pulling me in for a quick kiss. They lingered on my cheek as he stared deep into my eyes, their normal gray appearance showed just the hint of blue. “I’m sorry about yesterday.” His guilty whispered made me feel sorry that he had to apologise.
“S’not your fault.” I hugged my body closer to him, as close as I could get without causing him pain. “It was my fault you even ended up in a fight with Tyler.”
His hand recoiled from my cheek and his expression became hard. “No!” I could see he didn’t want to hurt me, but the words dug deeper than they should have. My body felt so weak after not having him around. “Matt, just...don’t. Please.” He had closed his eyes and I could feel him hide the pain he felt. Each beat of his heart became more erratic as it thumped against my chest. “You...you knew why I stepped in, and I would do it again. I can’t stand the thought of you being hurt.”
Marcus rolled his head over to the other side of the pillow so he was facing away from me. I couldn’t wash the ashamed looked off my face. He had poured his heart out at me and I could only argue with him because of something that was out of his control. Yesterday hadn’t been his fault, hadn’t been the reason why I felt so lonely when he implied he didn’t know me, it had been because I missed him. I wanted him so badly, to feel safe and secure in his arms. The devastation of hearing he didn’t know me had torn me to pieces.
“Marcus,” The words were barely audible from my lips. I just wanted him to look at me, to see his gorgeous eyes on me again, to see him want me, to know he wanted me. I shifted uncomfortably, deciding whether I should leave or stay tucked into the attractive beau who had been begging for my attention, something I had until now, overlooked. He made up my mind for me, his arm tucked underneath me and held me firmly while I tried to move away. “I don’t want to...I don’t want us...” My eyes had closed just like his, his warm strokes continued to teeter up my back. He had lifted up my shirt and was touching against the bare skin. My body hummed in time with each caress from his fingers.
I felt his other hand touch like a feather against my cheek as he curled back to face me, his lips slipped into my hair, gently kissing the top of my head, my eyes never opening, not even for a peak. The moment was so perfect, I was on edge without even having to look at him. I was washed over with the urge to sleep from sheer relaxation, not even thinking as I drifted slowly into Marcus’ soft shoulder, letting myself fall unconscious