Let it go if it doesn't want to stay
I still wake up everyday feeling relentless; from old grudges, to regrets, to all the “could’ve” and “should’ve”. I was sad a billion times over; happy a billion times over. I felt so much that I started to feel nothing. I have become comfortably numb to the point where I don’t want any kind of emotion. Because emotions are scary, and I am a coward.
But then again, I don’t wanna be heartless and empty of feelings. It’s just I am so sick of being let down. My problem is that I feel too much, too deeply that my constant heartbreak came from those ppl who took me for granted and never really felt anything for me.
I learned that when I find myself lost in darkness and despair, I remember it’s only in the black of night that I see the stars. I realized there are sunny days to look forward to, like today. I will never wish them pain. That’s not who I am. If somebody caused me pain, they must have pain inside. So I wish them healing.
There will never be, “I hope you hurt like you’ve hurt me.” instead, it’s easier to think, “I hope you’ve healed from your pain.”