Re: Six Steps Towards Something [PG] (Part II)liebedanceAugust 6 2011, 22:21:49 UTC
Fifth Year
"Oi, Evans!"
"Not again," Lily half-moaned, rubbing her hand against her forehead in frustration. Bracing herself, she put down her book and turned to look at the boy who was approaching her. It was a beautiful autumn day out, and Lily did not want to deal with this. "What do you want, Potter?"
"For you to go to Hogsmeade with me on Halloween."
"Not a chance," Lily replied, not missing a beat. This song and dance was getting old, and Lily knew the moves too well.
"Evans, c'mon, I'll show you a brilliant time." James filled his next line with practised ease. "Ditch Snivelly for a real man."
"Come off it. Jessica Abbot says you haven't much to boast about, if you know what I mean," Lily quipped, earning her an angry glare from the boy. "Besides, 'real men' aren't arrogant twats. Now sod off, and leave me alone."
This dance is ending now, Lily thought as she shoved the book she'd been reading in her bag and stormed off towards the castle.
"And I'm not dating Severus," she shouted over her shoulder, "but I'd gladly snog him over you any day." It was only a bit of a lie, really.
Sixth Year It was stupid, really, but Lily couldn't seem to stop the tears. She wasn't even surprised or shocked. But to actually see the words written in her sister's familiar, tidy scrawl... Well, it hurt.
What I'm trying to say, Lily, is that it'd be best if you didn't come to my wedding. Lily knew she shouldn't keep rereading the offending sentence, but her eyes were drawn to it as though by magnets. It was just one more brick being pulled from the foundation of Lily's life.
The pain from losing Sev was still present, especially at times such as now. None of her other friends really understood the situation between Lily and Petunia. And, though they were good to her, Lily didn't quite feel comfortable crying to them about it. What she really needed - and what she hadn't had for several months - was a best friend.
"Evans?" A familiar voice rang across the previously empty corridor, causing Lily to start. It was Potter. And while they'd shifted to something akin to friends since the start of term, Gryffindor's latest Quidditch Captain and all around Golden Boy was not on the list of people Lily wanted to see.
Lily hastily wiped her eyes and looked up at him. "Yeah?" she asked, trying to pretend as though her face wasn't red and blotchy.
"Are you alright?" James was frowning slightly, and Lily couldn't quite tell if the look on his face was one of concern or apprehension.
"Not really, no," Lily said, too exhausted to lie.
"Can I do anything?" he asked, taking a step towards her.
"I doubt it," Lily answered with a sigh.
James nodded and, to her surprise, sat down beside her. He pulled a broken bar of Honeyduke's finest out of his robe pocket and offered it to Lily. She took it.
"Thanks," she said, unwrapping it and nibbling on the corner.
"Any time," James replied. He patted her shoulder awkwardly before letting his hand fall onto his lap.
The two of them sat there in silence until long after Lily had finished the chocolate. Potter, she thought - and, for once, it was without any comparisons or qualifications - was really not a bad bloke to have as a friend.
Re: Six Steps Towards Something [PG] (Part II)amethysthAugust 6 2011, 22:58:15 UTC
This is beautiful. I love how naturally the comparisons came, how she wasn't even trying but Sev was her best mate, so she couldn't help but make them. And the last part was just so beautiful. I definitely fell in love with James again reading that scene. Amazing.
Re: Six Steps Towards Something [PG] (Part II)liebedanceAugust 7 2011, 15:49:30 UTC
I definitely fell in love with James again reading that scene. -- probably one of the best comments I could get on an L/J fic, yeah? Thanks so much, dear.
Re: Six Steps Towards Something [PG] (Part II)peskywhistpawAugust 7 2011, 00:06:14 UTC
The progression of this really is great, both in terms of her relationship with Severus, and her relationship with James. And the last line is totally perfect. Great work!
Re: Six Steps Towards Something [PG] (Part II)museme87August 7 2011, 01:05:04 UTC
I really appreciated this fic on a multitude of reasons, but one of the most prominent was all the nods to canon (both book and movie and head, lol). Like amethysth said, Lily didn't go out of her way to make the comparisons, which made the whole thing feel incredibly natural. You've done so much development in such a brief piece that it's quite incredible. Kudos to you, bb!
Re: Six Steps Towards Something [PG] (Part II)liebedanceAugust 7 2011, 15:50:48 UTC
Multitude of reasons? Do I get the other reasons, too? Or are you afraid of me ending up with a James-Potter-sized head? Haha. But, thanks, bb. Your opinion may be the most important! ♥
Re: Six Steps Towards Something [PG] (Part II)starry_laaAugust 7 2011, 09:16:59 UTC
This is wonderful and so beautifully written. It flowed really well and the comparisons were really subtle. I loved how in the end, James being there for Lily and giving her chocolate was enough fpr her to change her mind about him.
Re: Six Steps Towards Something [PG] (Part II)ballyharnonAugust 7 2011, 15:40:10 UTC
Oh, I quite like this. I love that you -and Lily- pick up on how cruel and awful it was of them to be such absolute bullies, and Remus' line 'sometimes it's funny' was shockingly perfect for our naughty prefect.
Petunia's letter was unexpected and really gutting... Poor Lily, but good on you for the unique-but-in-character situation.
Re: Six Steps Towards Something [PG] (Part II)liebedanceAugust 7 2011, 15:53:01 UTC
I mean, Remus was a Marauder, yeah? So of course he'd be a bit like that, though I doubt he ever did any bullying himself. But the really harmless things, I bet he thought were funny.
"Oi, Evans!"
"Not again," Lily half-moaned, rubbing her hand against her forehead in frustration. Bracing herself, she put down her book and turned to look at the boy who was approaching her. It was a beautiful autumn day out, and Lily did not want to deal with this. "What do you want, Potter?"
"For you to go to Hogsmeade with me on Halloween."
"Not a chance," Lily replied, not missing a beat. This song and dance was getting old, and Lily knew the moves too well.
"Evans, c'mon, I'll show you a brilliant time." James filled his next line with practised ease. "Ditch Snivelly for a real man."
"Come off it. Jessica Abbot says you haven't much to boast about, if you know what I mean," Lily quipped, earning her an angry glare from the boy. "Besides, 'real men' aren't arrogant twats. Now sod off, and leave me alone."
This dance is ending now, Lily thought as she shoved the book she'd been reading in her bag and stormed off towards the castle.
"And I'm not dating Severus," she shouted over her shoulder, "but I'd gladly snog him over you any day." It was only a bit of a lie, really.
Sixth Year
It was stupid, really, but Lily couldn't seem to stop the tears. She wasn't even surprised or shocked. But to actually see the words written in her sister's familiar, tidy scrawl... Well, it hurt.
What I'm trying to say, Lily, is that it'd be best if you didn't come to my wedding. Lily knew she shouldn't keep rereading the offending sentence, but her eyes were drawn to it as though by magnets. It was just one more brick being pulled from the foundation of Lily's life.
The pain from losing Sev was still present, especially at times such as now. None of her other friends really understood the situation between Lily and Petunia. And, though they were good to her, Lily didn't quite feel comfortable crying to them about it. What she really needed - and what she hadn't had for several months - was a best friend.
"Evans?" A familiar voice rang across the previously empty corridor, causing Lily to start. It was Potter. And while they'd shifted to something akin to friends since the start of term, Gryffindor's latest Quidditch Captain and all around Golden Boy was not on the list of people Lily wanted to see.
Lily hastily wiped her eyes and looked up at him. "Yeah?" she asked, trying to pretend as though her face wasn't red and blotchy.
"Are you alright?" James was frowning slightly, and Lily couldn't quite tell if the look on his face was one of concern or apprehension.
"Not really, no," Lily said, too exhausted to lie.
"Can I do anything?" he asked, taking a step towards her.
"I doubt it," Lily answered with a sigh.
James nodded and, to her surprise, sat down beside her. He pulled a broken bar of Honeyduke's finest out of his robe pocket and offered it to Lily. She took it.
"Thanks," she said, unwrapping it and nibbling on the corner.
"Any time," James replied. He patted her shoulder awkwardly before letting his hand fall onto his lap.
The two of them sat there in silence until long after Lily had finished the chocolate. Potter, she thought - and, for once, it was without any comparisons or qualifications - was really not a bad bloke to have as a friend.
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I especially love the biting gnome, though I don't know why. XD
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Petunia's letter was unexpected and really gutting... Poor Lily, but good on you for the unique-but-in-character situation.
♥
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Thanks, and I'm really glad you like it!
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