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um this is a story i worte for english creative writing. i got excellence for it, but i wanna know what other people think. its kinda loosely based on true events
Reflection
I glance in my mirror. It’s such a simple everyday task. But I struggle to do it. It floods me with memories I’d rather forget. I can see the emotions in my hazel green eyes. The Pain, laughter, and confusion. The sound of rain pattering on my window distracts me for a moment, as I sigh to myself. It’s like the rain is crying the tears I no longer can.
I turn my attention back to the mirror and the girl reflected back at me. A stranger to me now, I do not recognise the smile she gives me. I see the difference between myself and my reflection but I wonder if anyone else does. Staring like this into the mirror awakens a sense of deja vu in me. I’ve looked in this mirror so many times before.
I remember one time so clearly it could be yesterday. The emotions are so real I can still feel them. I remember looking into the mirror, tears cascading down my cheeks, my eyes blacked from running make up. The angry red mark left on my cheek, given with such fury. The party had been fun until that next day. Just like a normal teenager I was drowning out the reality of life, by drinking alcohol. Music pumping, spirits high, I let the drinks consume me. I felt confident, carefree, and out of control. I made mistakes. I let myself make a choice, and I’ve regretted it ever since. I should have stayed away from him, but instead of using good judgement, I let the mood take me away and felt content in his arms.
I had awoken the next morning and realized my mistake. The betrayal of my friend. I confronted her, told her the truth and received guilt and shame in exchange. I had kissed the boy she loved, and she’d never truly forgive me. When I got home and looked into the reflective glass, I watched my eyes change colour as my emotions varied from rage, pain, numbness, until finally complete despair washed over me. It hurt so much. Everyone had left me. A drunken mistake, a broken friendship, and now, a girl retreating into her own world within herself. There are so many scars, unseen to everyone who looks no further than the smile upon my face. I live a lie, so I can push everyone out. So I can’t hurt them and they can’t hurt me.
When she slapped me, I knew I deserved it. But I could never get over the heartbreak and pain in her eyes. So I abandoned my feelings in replace for an emotionless existence. My theory was if you can’t feel, then you will never get hurt. But there’s a huge flaw in that plan I can see now. With such solid barriers blocking everything out, nothing can get in, not even happiness.
Now, months later, looking into this same mirror, I look so different. Gone are the tears replaced with numerous rings around my deadened eyes. My old problems are slowly repairing themselves and I have no real reason to be sad so no-one suspects I am.
But, when I look closer to my reflection, I see that even though my mouth is smiling, my eyes are screaming.
Some things never change, and the one person I cannot fool will always be my worst enemy. Myself.
By Sarah Blackstock
Reflection
I glance in my mirror. It’s such a simple everyday task. But I struggle to do it. It floods me with memories I’d rather forget. I can see the emotions in my hazel green eyes. The Pain, laughter, and confusion. The sound of rain pattering on my window distracts me for a moment, as I sigh to myself. It’s like the rain is crying the tears I no longer can.
I turn my attention back to the mirror and the girl reflected back at me. A stranger to me now, I do not recognise the smile she gives me. I see the difference between myself and my reflection but I wonder if anyone else does. Staring like this into the mirror awakens a sense of deja vu in me. I’ve looked in this mirror so many times before.
I remember one time so clearly it could be yesterday. The emotions are so real I can still feel them. I remember looking into the mirror, tears cascading down my cheeks, my eyes blacked from running make up. The angry red mark left on my cheek, given with such fury. The party had been fun until that next day. Just like a normal teenager I was drowning out the reality of life, by drinking alcohol. Music pumping, spirits high, I let the drinks consume me. I felt confident, carefree, and out of control. I made mistakes. I let myself make a choice, and I’ve regretted it ever since. I should have stayed away from him, but instead of using good judgement, I let the mood take me away and felt content in his arms.
I had awoken the next morning and realized my mistake. The betrayal of my friend. I confronted her, told her the truth and received guilt and shame in exchange. I had kissed the boy she loved, and she’d never truly forgive me. When I got home and looked into the reflective glass, I watched my eyes change colour as my emotions varied from rage, pain, numbness, until finally complete despair washed over me. It hurt so much. Everyone had left me. A drunken mistake, a broken friendship, and now, a girl retreating into her own world within herself. There are so many scars, unseen to everyone who looks no further than the smile upon my face. I live a lie, so I can push everyone out. So I can’t hurt them and they can’t hurt me.
When she slapped me, I knew I deserved it. But I could never get over the heartbreak and pain in her eyes. So I abandoned my feelings in replace for an emotionless existence. My theory was if you can’t feel, then you will never get hurt. But there’s a huge flaw in that plan I can see now. With such solid barriers blocking everything out, nothing can get in, not even happiness.
Now, months later, looking into this same mirror, I look so different. Gone are the tears replaced with numerous rings around my deadened eyes. My old problems are slowly repairing themselves and I have no real reason to be sad so no-one suspects I am.
But, when I look closer to my reflection, I see that even though my mouth is smiling, my eyes are screaming.
Some things never change, and the one person I cannot fool will always be my worst enemy. Myself.
By Sarah Blackstock