34.B. Horny

Nov 21, 2009 20:48

Goddamnit, I need sex right now before I take myself out with the damn crutches!

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welcometo_life November 21 2009, 10:04:35 UTC
Wow. That seems slightly dramatic. It's been that long?

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tacticalmind November 21 2009, 10:10:43 UTC
I got blown up at war, I get a free ticket on the dramatics. And yeah, it's been that long.

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welcometo_life November 21 2009, 10:22:11 UTC
Alright, I'll give you that one. Being blown up definitely gives you a free pass to be a drama queen. Because let's face it, drama king just doesn't sound right.

So what, there's no girl out there willing to lend you a hand, mouth, or various other body parts?

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tacticalmind November 21 2009, 10:24:44 UTC
Well, it could, if it came with the right accessories, like a crown and maybe a long hard stick. Shit. Sorry, channelling.

Yeah, for sure. That would be my wife. Only, my penis is about the only part of me that ain't injured. If ever there is bad mojo, it's giving you a healthy cock and busted everything else.

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welcometo_life November 21 2009, 10:27:32 UTC
See, now I'm just gonna picture you carrying around a big penis sceptor like some drunk girl at a bachelorette party.

There are ways around that. You just have to try and stay as still as humanly possible.

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tacticalmind November 21 2009, 10:39:11 UTC
Don't forget the crutches and plaster cast on my ankle. That would be I rock the party dress even more.

I rock at staying still, it's ny cock that doesn't.

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welcometo_life November 21 2009, 11:11:13 UTC
Oh you'd totally be the prettiest girl at the party.

Clearly you need to train it better.

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tacticalmind November 21 2009, 11:16:05 UTC
Might have to pass on the pigtails, though, and bras just look completely awkward to get on.

It's been very deprived. And I'm feeling sorry for myself. That's not a good mix, especially when the TV got stuck on the porn channel.

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welcometo_life November 21 2009, 11:20:43 UTC
You wear pigtails to a bachelorette party, you're just asking for a pedophile to hit on you. And bras can be a pain in the ass, but if you've got the boobs, it's worse if you don't wear one.

Froze like....you can't even turn the tv off? Or mute it? Mute can work as long as you can stop looking at the screen.

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tacticalmind November 21 2009, 11:24:59 UTC
Worse for who? Sorry... sorry. The porn channel tells me otherwise.

Sure, I can, if I didn't drop the remote over the back of it when I put it up there to try and stretch.

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welcometo_life November 21 2009, 11:34:35 UTC
Yeah, the porn channel is about as close to reality as a Penthouse Forum letter.

Wow. You really are fucked. Figuratively, at least.

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tacticalmind November 21 2009, 11:42:35 UTC
Boobs just look like they don't need bras on there.

Yeah, but lucky I ain't dead, as they say. You would think coming home from war meant I got to fuck my my wife, but I got screwed over.

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