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[psych2psych]

I type and I backspace, type and backspace. I hold my tongue to keep from saying certain things

Comments

[imgrounded]

You leave, or you just work and not sleep. Bury your head in the sand because it's easier.

[psych2psych]

That's what I feel like doing... but I have three kids who need me to keep going. And I am... really trying for them but it's really, really draining.

[imgrounded]

I don't envy you. I've never had to worry about needing to keep going for kids. I've tried to keep going for the rest of my family, but I just... couldn't. I was selfish. I left.

Are they old enough for you to just lay it on the line and be honest about struggling?

[paramedically]

I would say have a drink, but that's not advice I should be giving.

You have to stop and let yourself think. Or stop and let yourself lean on someone. Hard lesson to learn, I know.

[psych2psych]

If I could have a beer right now I really would. I'd have like... ten.

I think you're right... that that's what started it all, my inability to completely open up. It's a bad habit of wanting to take care of everyone and everything but not letting anyone do the same for me.

My fault. I have to learn to be better at that.

[paramedically]

And I'd join you if I could. Probably wouldn't stop at ten, either.

It's a trait a lot of men share, unfortunately. A sense you need to nurture and protect your loved ones, you don't stop to think sometimes you might need the same in return. You think you can just keep going and functioning, doesn't need to be perfectly, just effectively. But if you don't stop and offload, you'll take on too much and break. Then you won't be able to take care of them anyway.

[pullmysteth]

Crawl into bed and hope the world fucks off around you. It's hard to think or function once that feeling that there is no way to fix it sets in.

[psych2psych]

Think and function. I'm finding it difficult to do both. You're completely right.

[pullmysteth]

The down side is, the further you sink into it, the harder it is to get out of it. Things that shouldn't be difficult suddenly seen impossible to pull of.

My advice would have to be focus on the innocent things that make you happy. For me, it's my family. My son and daughter. The way they smile reminds me that I want to be there to see them smile when they're graduating, getting married, having wee ones of their own. They don't need a dad wallowing in misery. Babies sense negative feelings.