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[lovesguinness]

She thinks I'm a fucking easter egg. That wasn't what I meant when I said I wanted to get laid.

Comments

[nychandcuffs]

Oh, I don't know. You'd make a lovely egg.

[lovesguinness]

The day I get shat out a chicken's arse, then we'll talk.

[nychandcuffs]

That's a mighty interesting visual there, Detective.

So did you get laid, or she just spent the whole time clucking?

[lovesguinness]

I aim to please.

Pretty sure I got laid, only have vague memories of it. Maybe I dreamt it.

[nychandcuffs]

So you had another good night along with Matt? I swear it's pointless trying to get details out of Irishmen after a piss up.

[lovesguinness]

Aye, it wasn't too bad, like. I'm not hungover, just don't remember much about the night. Must've been a good one.

[nychandcuffs]

Definitely sounds like a good one if you even got treated like an Easter Egg. Are you feeling more settled now?

[lovesguinness]

What's with you chicks and smearing food products over blokes? Still needed to shower after it. Settled with what?

[nychandcuffs]

We want to try and add something to your already delicious flavour? I don't know, you've never wanted to smear something over a chick? I guess she wanted a fleshy Easter Egg and not just a chocolate one. That's where you're supposed to shower together. Not that I'll be getting chocolate anywhere near Matt. Being here in London.

[lovesguinness]

Oh-ohh, yeah, I want to smear something over them. Just probably not what you're thinking. Hey, I know for a fact he likes chocolate. He was practically scoffing the whole basket on his own. Aye, it's alright.

[nychandcuffs]

No, but I have a good idea as to what. Not any more, he's having a chocolate hangover. He doesn't want to see chocolate ever again. But?

[lovesguinness]

No fucking wonder. Chocolate and Guinness don't mix or they would have made chocolate Guinness. But what? You asked. It's London, there's a Queen, and a dirty fucking great ferris wheel. Woo.

[nychandcuffs]

Still have no idea how you can drink the green Guinness. Just but... Is there anything in particular that's irking you? Besides the Queen and the dirty fucking great ferris wheel. There's also a woman that wants dinner with you, and a best friend that's glad you're here.

[lovesguinness]

You swallow sperm, and green Guinness makes you squeamish? Uh, you want me to cry and confess how horrible I'm coping? Hate to break it to you, love, but I'm okay.

[nychandcuffs]

Hey, so long as the guy's diet is good, his sperm is good. It's only when it's funky that it's kinda gross. But yes, green Guinness makes me more squeamish than sperm. Would you rather that, or a woman's come? That's all I'm asking, U. So long as you're okay, I won't ask.

[lovesguinness]

I have no words. Yes, I would. You can't get a pint of woman's come. What would you say if I didn't like it and wanted to go home?