55.08 response (locked FROM Tom...open to anyone else)
Who would want to join this madness?
Who would change my monogram?
Who will be part of my circus?
Who will love me as I am?
(from "Side Show")
Who will love me...? It's a question I ask myself over and over. I have since it hap-...since I was raped. I have to say it...otherwise I'll be back where I was so many years ago. I can't let it have power over me.
I was in college...a sophomore. I was going back to my apartment from the library. I did everything you're supposed to do ~ not following the same path, varying all the times, sticking to well-lit and non-isolated areas, keeping aware of my surroundings. But it still happened. I was lucky to survive. Even the doctor said that at the hospital once I convinced her I had not tried to slit my wrists. That took Tom's help.
Tom's my best friend. Like my brother. Well... Yeah, at one time I wanted it to be more. But he said he didn't feel anything, so I made myself feel nothing...or I told myself I would feel nothing. Didn't work so well, but I kept him in the dark about it until recently. I had to tell him... But that's another story. He protected me...he kept me sane as best he could. And when I lost it, he never gave up on me.
So what's the problem...why aren't we together? First off, he is a priest...Roman Catholic. Well, I guess was now. He renounced his vows. And he's in love. With a guy. Who broke his heart...
I'm sorry. I'm getting off track.
Anyway... I've pretty much resolved myself to being alone. It's been so long since I even thought about it... And really, who would even want to begin to deal with a tiny bit of the baggage I've got? And the time it would take for me to trust...? There's only one person I can even imagine handling it. And I've already laid out the problem there. Still...
Resolved doesn't mean I have to like it. But seriously. Who could even think about loving me?
Mia Harding
original character
Who would change my monogram?
Who will be part of my circus?
Who will love me as I am?
(from "Side Show")
Who will love me...? It's a question I ask myself over and over. I have since it hap-...since I was raped. I have to say it...otherwise I'll be back where I was so many years ago. I can't let it have power over me.
I was in college...a sophomore. I was going back to my apartment from the library. I did everything you're supposed to do ~ not following the same path, varying all the times, sticking to well-lit and non-isolated areas, keeping aware of my surroundings. But it still happened. I was lucky to survive. Even the doctor said that at the hospital once I convinced her I had not tried to slit my wrists. That took Tom's help.
Tom's my best friend. Like my brother. Well... Yeah, at one time I wanted it to be more. But he said he didn't feel anything, so I made myself feel nothing...or I told myself I would feel nothing. Didn't work so well, but I kept him in the dark about it until recently. I had to tell him... But that's another story. He protected me...he kept me sane as best he could. And when I lost it, he never gave up on me.
So what's the problem...why aren't we together? First off, he is a priest...Roman Catholic. Well, I guess was now. He renounced his vows. And he's in love. With a guy. Who broke his heart...
I'm sorry. I'm getting off track.
Anyway... I've pretty much resolved myself to being alone. It's been so long since I even thought about it... And really, who would even want to begin to deal with a tiny bit of the baggage I've got? And the time it would take for me to trust...? There's only one person I can even imagine handling it. And I've already laid out the problem there. Still...
Resolved doesn't mean I have to like it. But seriously. Who could even think about loving me?
Mia Harding
original character