Prompt 115
115. Sometimes in the night, she would squeeze her eyes shut and imagine how it might be to love him. (Mia)
"Why can't you just be a normal human being?"
Elliot's words echoed in my head long after we'd had sex and he'd gone to sleep. We'd been going to bed at my parents' house ~ once upon a time it had been my room, but Mom had long since redone it so I hardly recognized it ~ and he'd been criticizing me for being so harsh. Especially with my family he'd said. I told him I though family was the one group you were supposed to be harsh with...or at least be yourself with.
It was kind of a standard argument. He'd criticize me for being who I am. I'd defend myself...or cut him off with a kiss. Yeah, it probably wasn't the healthiest thing, but it was us. Ironically Elliot's a shrink. But he never understood me. He never really tried. Oh sure, I didn't make it easy for him, but he never really tried to get inside my head. Or understand why I didn't want to go home. Ever.
"It'll be fun," he'd said during the discussion that preceded our Thanksgiving trip...from hell. "I'd like to meet your family."
I tried to tell him.
So there I was, lying there in bed next to him. Satisfied, but not really. Earlier that evening, I'd told my brother Jake that I hoped you didn't have to have a normal family life growing up to have a normal relationship. At least I meant it for him. But then again, his experience was a lot different from mine. Maybe it would be possible for him to have a normal relationship. He and Margaret seemed to be doing ok anyway. Warren and i are the two who got all screwed up by Dad. I looked over at Elliot, sleeping so soundly. As if he didn't have a care in the world.
I wanted to love him. I really did.
I just didn't know how.
Mia
The Myth of Fingerprints
"Why can't you just be a normal human being?"
Elliot's words echoed in my head long after we'd had sex and he'd gone to sleep. We'd been going to bed at my parents' house ~ once upon a time it had been my room, but Mom had long since redone it so I hardly recognized it ~ and he'd been criticizing me for being so harsh. Especially with my family he'd said. I told him I though family was the one group you were supposed to be harsh with...or at least be yourself with.
It was kind of a standard argument. He'd criticize me for being who I am. I'd defend myself...or cut him off with a kiss. Yeah, it probably wasn't the healthiest thing, but it was us. Ironically Elliot's a shrink. But he never understood me. He never really tried. Oh sure, I didn't make it easy for him, but he never really tried to get inside my head. Or understand why I didn't want to go home. Ever.
"It'll be fun," he'd said during the discussion that preceded our Thanksgiving trip...from hell. "I'd like to meet your family."
I tried to tell him.
So there I was, lying there in bed next to him. Satisfied, but not really. Earlier that evening, I'd told my brother Jake that I hoped you didn't have to have a normal family life growing up to have a normal relationship. At least I meant it for him. But then again, his experience was a lot different from mine. Maybe it would be possible for him to have a normal relationship. He and Margaret seemed to be doing ok anyway. Warren and i are the two who got all screwed up by Dad. I looked over at Elliot, sleeping so soundly. As if he didn't have a care in the world.
I wanted to love him. I really did.
I just didn't know how.
Mia
The Myth of Fingerprints