(no subject)
I need to clean my Apartment so. freakin. bad.
I really don't know why I can't be clean like normal people. I used to think it had something to do with how I am always finding a way to make a GIANT MESS, because I am crafty and something as simple as a piece of cardboard I find outside can become a huge nine hour project where I am cutting up my favourite dresses because I want to make a collage of pretty pieces of fabric, et cetera. To hang on my wall, I guess, which are bare, because these things never actually come to fruition.
This may be more destructive than creative, this tendency of mine. I am pretty sure I have been living for the past 27 years with almost crippling ADD, and do not have the focus required to actually do anything about it, which is fine with me. My Mother tends to agree, although when I was a teenager she asked if I wanted to see someone about it when I was having trouble focusing in school. Even though I was doing well enough, it was an EPIC BATTLE. However, I said 'not really' and that was the last of that.
But then I had a roommate who was way more 'creative' than I could ever be and she was also an Organization Master so that theory went out of the window.
My Husband is a total slob too, and also has a tendency to become totally immersed in his own head, though for him it is more academic. So this kind of results in us, occasionally, looking around us and being like,
'whoa, how THE FUCK did this happen???'
So I am home today for the first time in ages, looking around woefully at my living space and I kind of feel this sense of doom one might feel if they are pretty sure there is going to be a Zombie Attack any moment.
I hate cleaning.
I have also tried everything to be more organized. And less of a god damn pig. Because let's face it, that's what I am. Making lists of chores doesn't work because after bullet point number three my 'list' usually becomes more of a doodle of a space-dragon eating the Earth which looks like a giant pizza. I am also pretty sure I am incapable of any kind of routine.
I even have a sensible perfect older sister to feel inferior to and neurotically try to out-do even when she isn't present, and that doesn't even cut the muster. (Do not tell me that I meant 'mustard' or I will have to bitch-slap you.)
So, I guess I am doomed to a life of living in FILTH, until shame and guilt drive me to finally clean when I should be able to relax and read smut on my one god damn day off.
woe. :(
I really don't know why I can't be clean like normal people. I used to think it had something to do with how I am always finding a way to make a GIANT MESS, because I am crafty and something as simple as a piece of cardboard I find outside can become a huge nine hour project where I am cutting up my favourite dresses because I want to make a collage of pretty pieces of fabric, et cetera. To hang on my wall, I guess, which are bare, because these things never actually come to fruition.
This may be more destructive than creative, this tendency of mine. I am pretty sure I have been living for the past 27 years with almost crippling ADD, and do not have the focus required to actually do anything about it, which is fine with me. My Mother tends to agree, although when I was a teenager she asked if I wanted to see someone about it when I was having trouble focusing in school. Even though I was doing well enough, it was an EPIC BATTLE. However, I said 'not really' and that was the last of that.
But then I had a roommate who was way more 'creative' than I could ever be and she was also an Organization Master so that theory went out of the window.
My Husband is a total slob too, and also has a tendency to become totally immersed in his own head, though for him it is more academic. So this kind of results in us, occasionally, looking around us and being like,
'whoa, how THE FUCK did this happen???'
So I am home today for the first time in ages, looking around woefully at my living space and I kind of feel this sense of doom one might feel if they are pretty sure there is going to be a Zombie Attack any moment.
I hate cleaning.
I have also tried everything to be more organized. And less of a god damn pig. Because let's face it, that's what I am. Making lists of chores doesn't work because after bullet point number three my 'list' usually becomes more of a doodle of a space-dragon eating the Earth which looks like a giant pizza. I am also pretty sure I am incapable of any kind of routine.
I even have a sensible perfect older sister to feel inferior to and neurotically try to out-do even when she isn't present, and that doesn't even cut the muster. (Do not tell me that I meant 'mustard' or I will have to bitch-slap you.)
So, I guess I am doomed to a life of living in FILTH, until shame and guilt drive me to finally clean when I should be able to relax and read smut on my one god damn day off.
woe. :(