(no subject)
Ichidô
Cissnei, Tseng, Zack mentions
G
You stand at the windows, staring out as the rain pours on the streets of the city 69 stories below. The sky is falling, perhaps it is crying, maybe the world is ending. You are still damp from being outside in it yourself, the black and white and guilt clinging like it will never let go.
You don't know why you care so much.
How long have you been here, at this window? Looking out, out it seems past the city itself, into the wastelands which only held death and ruin. You have heard stories that it had not always been like that, that before this structure came to be it was a fertile land. But time and resources have drained it, drained the once small town of prosperity and turned it into slums, hidden from the slums by a metal and steel edifice that towered over it.
ShinRa gives, ShinRa takes. It's been a reoccurring theme in your life for as long as you can remember.
"Damn it." Snarled out, the voice is so raw with emotion you almost don't recognize it as your own. Your hand on the glass, palm stinging and you are not quite sure when you had hit it; Not fast enough, not strong enough to have an effect on its state, This also seems to be a reoccurring theme. Your teeth are clenched, holding back everything else that might want to come out. The bottle that holds your emotions has shattered, the only glass that you can't seem to keep in one piece.
Fucking windows. You don't need life lessons from them too.
You are not sure how long he has been there, or when you became aware that he actually was. Maybe you were not until this moment, maybe you had been all along. He has always been some sort of ghost in your life, unreachable, untouchable, even when you were touching him and making sure he damn well knew it. "It shouldn't of ended like this." You tell him, or the window, it honestly did not matter because the response would be the same. "Something should of been different. Something should have been preventable..."
Something seven years ago, two months ago, or two hours ago, it could of saved the life you treasured more than your own. He doesn't say anything, he never does - a man who wasted words was not the man who could do this job - and you expect it, because it is something normal.
Everything about this was normal, except that you broke the rules and fell in love.
Your kind are humans trying to live the life without emotions, and you failed that miserably. You all have at some point, be it with your own partner or a outside presence in your life or even the man held in so high a regard. He is gone too, he made the same mistakes that you had. Only he was not as lucky in not getting caught.
"...I can't do this, Tseng." At some point you have become tired, tired of everything surrounding you and tired in mind and body as well. Your head bowed as you sunk to the floor but stayed on your feet; Kneel for nobody, not even your guilty-hashing ghosts. "It's just one thing after another, I'm so tired of it."
How many more would they take from you?
...How much more can you handle?
A minute passes by, then another and another. You have gone back to staring at nothing, riding the raging sea of emotions and trying not to let them get the better of you. Too late for that. "Get up." He says, and you realize he is behind you, a hand coming down onto your shoulder. "Get up and keep going, Cissnei. That is an order."
You are not allowed to give up, you never have been. Despite the rain, the cold, and the fact that you are a mess, there is an anchor you can hold on to to keep focus on. It will not change the fact that you have lost him, or that you have lost him, but for the next ten minutes, the next few hours. Maybe, it is enough.
"Yes sir." You hear yourself say faintly, and that hand briefly tightens on your shoulder before releasing to let you stand. He trusts you to keep your word, to keep going.
And maybe one day you would trust yourself of the same, too.
Cissnei, Tseng, Zack mentions
G
You stand at the windows, staring out as the rain pours on the streets of the city 69 stories below. The sky is falling, perhaps it is crying, maybe the world is ending. You are still damp from being outside in it yourself, the black and white and guilt clinging like it will never let go.
You don't know why you care so much.
How long have you been here, at this window? Looking out, out it seems past the city itself, into the wastelands which only held death and ruin. You have heard stories that it had not always been like that, that before this structure came to be it was a fertile land. But time and resources have drained it, drained the once small town of prosperity and turned it into slums, hidden from the slums by a metal and steel edifice that towered over it.
ShinRa gives, ShinRa takes. It's been a reoccurring theme in your life for as long as you can remember.
"Damn it." Snarled out, the voice is so raw with emotion you almost don't recognize it as your own. Your hand on the glass, palm stinging and you are not quite sure when you had hit it; Not fast enough, not strong enough to have an effect on its state, This also seems to be a reoccurring theme. Your teeth are clenched, holding back everything else that might want to come out. The bottle that holds your emotions has shattered, the only glass that you can't seem to keep in one piece.
Fucking windows. You don't need life lessons from them too.
You are not sure how long he has been there, or when you became aware that he actually was. Maybe you were not until this moment, maybe you had been all along. He has always been some sort of ghost in your life, unreachable, untouchable, even when you were touching him and making sure he damn well knew it. "It shouldn't of ended like this." You tell him, or the window, it honestly did not matter because the response would be the same. "Something should of been different. Something should have been preventable..."
Something seven years ago, two months ago, or two hours ago, it could of saved the life you treasured more than your own. He doesn't say anything, he never does - a man who wasted words was not the man who could do this job - and you expect it, because it is something normal.
Everything about this was normal, except that you broke the rules and fell in love.
Your kind are humans trying to live the life without emotions, and you failed that miserably. You all have at some point, be it with your own partner or a outside presence in your life or even the man held in so high a regard. He is gone too, he made the same mistakes that you had. Only he was not as lucky in not getting caught.
"...I can't do this, Tseng." At some point you have become tired, tired of everything surrounding you and tired in mind and body as well. Your head bowed as you sunk to the floor but stayed on your feet; Kneel for nobody, not even your guilty-hashing ghosts. "It's just one thing after another, I'm so tired of it."
How many more would they take from you?
...How much more can you handle?
A minute passes by, then another and another. You have gone back to staring at nothing, riding the raging sea of emotions and trying not to let them get the better of you. Too late for that. "Get up." He says, and you realize he is behind you, a hand coming down onto your shoulder. "Get up and keep going, Cissnei. That is an order."
You are not allowed to give up, you never have been. Despite the rain, the cold, and the fact that you are a mess, there is an anchor you can hold on to to keep focus on. It will not change the fact that you have lost him, or that you have lost him, but for the next ten minutes, the next few hours. Maybe, it is enough.
"Yes sir." You hear yourself say faintly, and that hand briefly tightens on your shoulder before releasing to let you stand. He trusts you to keep your word, to keep going.
And maybe one day you would trust yourself of the same, too.