HOW TO ...
HOW TO WEAR PYJAMAS
The world is divided into normal people who wear pyjamas and filthy sexual deviants who smear their naked bodies across the bed linen.
Traditional male pyjamas are styled in a fashion that has been dropped from prison uniform because it is degrading to the inmate. Were you to have wallpaper in the style of your pyjamas, the value of your house would dip by 4%.
Twisty Pyjama Syndrome is one of the occupational hazards of pyjama-wearing. This is where you turn over in bed and your pyjamas stay where they are. It's then almost impossible to realign your body with your pyjamas for the rest of the night
Pyjamas don't count as exotic lingerie. It's quite difficult to remove pyjamas in an exciting fashion, although there is a ripcord element with the drawstrings. Don't drop your pyjama bottoms while wearing your top unless your genitals are far and away your best feature. It is possible to make love without taking off your pyjamas. It's estimated that a third of the Karma Sutra is achievable in pyjamas, although twisty pyjama syndrome is a constant danger.
Men's pyjamas have a design feature whereby however tight you pull the strings, the flies are still wide open and act as a display unit for your undercarriage. Women don't have this problem because they wear nighties instead of pyjamas. Nighties also have their own special design feature which allows women to make love without waking up.
Men who wear pyjamas drive cars with four doors, as the coupé is the automotive equivalent of a thong. Women are reassured by male pyjamas because the likelihood of a man having brushed cotton pyjamas and a leather face mask under his pillow is remote. However, the likelihood of spontaneous acts of passion with a man in pyjamas is equally remote.
Most pyjamas have a chest pocket. This has been designed to hold reading glasses, an abridged version of The Joy Of Sex or a small packet of contraceptives. It's a good early warning system for women when the pocket contains all three.
Pyjamas come into their own when you are staying at someone else's house. When you are having a late-night pee, you don't want to be caught naked in the corridor, especially if all your host is wearing is a leather face mask.
The world is divided into normal people who wear pyjamas and filthy sexual deviants who smear their naked bodies across the bed linen.
Traditional male pyjamas are styled in a fashion that has been dropped from prison uniform because it is degrading to the inmate. Were you to have wallpaper in the style of your pyjamas, the value of your house would dip by 4%.
Twisty Pyjama Syndrome is one of the occupational hazards of pyjama-wearing. This is where you turn over in bed and your pyjamas stay where they are. It's then almost impossible to realign your body with your pyjamas for the rest of the night
Pyjamas don't count as exotic lingerie. It's quite difficult to remove pyjamas in an exciting fashion, although there is a ripcord element with the drawstrings. Don't drop your pyjama bottoms while wearing your top unless your genitals are far and away your best feature. It is possible to make love without taking off your pyjamas. It's estimated that a third of the Karma Sutra is achievable in pyjamas, although twisty pyjama syndrome is a constant danger.
Men's pyjamas have a design feature whereby however tight you pull the strings, the flies are still wide open and act as a display unit for your undercarriage. Women don't have this problem because they wear nighties instead of pyjamas. Nighties also have their own special design feature which allows women to make love without waking up.
Men who wear pyjamas drive cars with four doors, as the coupé is the automotive equivalent of a thong. Women are reassured by male pyjamas because the likelihood of a man having brushed cotton pyjamas and a leather face mask under his pillow is remote. However, the likelihood of spontaneous acts of passion with a man in pyjamas is equally remote.
Most pyjamas have a chest pocket. This has been designed to hold reading glasses, an abridged version of The Joy Of Sex or a small packet of contraceptives. It's a good early warning system for women when the pocket contains all three.
Pyjamas come into their own when you are staying at someone else's house. When you are having a late-night pee, you don't want to be caught naked in the corridor, especially if all your host is wearing is a leather face mask.