the tip of the thorn

[muse]

Friday night, I attended the Mesa Slam-off after attending a lovely hippie wedding. It was one of the best nights of poetry in recent memory. Last year, some people didn’t seem like they should be onstage. Friday, everyone belonged there. Hell, everyone busted out and tore up the joint. I think I fell in love at least six times. I left

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i do so remember!

[muse]

I do remember you. It's funny because I'd always wondered what happened to you. There's a line from the movie Stand By Me that I've always loved. Richard Dreyfuss says, "People pass in and out of each other's lives like bussers in a restaurant." He says it with such melancholy finality, and there's a part of me that doesn't want to hear it, but I do because he's right. Good to see you again. I hope that things are going well for you.

When I turned from the world of politics and law, it was a real point of change for me. I'd experienced negative things with the System and felt like I still wanted to make a difference, but that perhaps my making a difference could happen in other ways. I started living for my own dreams and ideals, rather than the ones others had of me. As rebellious as I've always been, there is a part of me that wants to please others. I don't live by those rules now, but at one point in time, I really wanted the admiration and respect of people. I thought I could have that with a fine education and upstanding job. Even now, I like knowing that I could go back to those professions if I so chose. I like choices.

It isn't so much that I chose to have this Bohemian lifestyle than that I chose to live and really seize life by tooth and claw. That's where I am at now. Sometimes, I still think about having a normal life, but then, I get hungrier for living and go in new directions. It's about learning for me. If I gain laugh lines and wisdom, I'll feel as if I've lived life well.

Thank you for clarifying that you weren't judging me. I don't take offense to people being curious about me. It's kind that you let me know anyway.

:-)

Re: i do so remember!

[farce_life]

And I figured I was not remembered once I was absent from your life. How sweet! I am finally finishing up my philosophy degree, albeit slowly, due to all of the wrestling with the bureaucratic university powers. This fulfillment of a dream long-held is keeping me going and the rest of life is not too shabby.
What you wrote here is excellent:
"If I gain laugh lines and wisdom, I'll feel as if I've lived life well."
I love your strength, and wisdom, and intelligence. More women need to embrace their true selves and be open to experience, the way you are.
You remind me of the beat poets, with their sense of adventure and good living. I wish the best to you and would show you the myspace profile, only I don't think you would enjoy reading all the surveys I post. If you don't mind I'll continue lurking here and maybe leave a message for you now and then. Whatever you wish.

Re: i do so remember!

[muse]

Good work on the degree. If you have to do it slowly, you have to do it slowly. There's no shame in taking the turtle's path towards a goal. The end result is the same as if you'd hitched a ride on the hare's back. Keep doing what you're doing. Obviously, it's working for you.

While I appreciate your comments on my strengths, I think that it's not just women who need to embrace their true selves. To me, embracing one's true self isn't a trait that is exclusive to men or women. Many people cling to their convenient masks and labels. For me, I don't want to waste a single drop of the life that I have. I've literally almost died and almost done so figuratively. As a result, I appreciate it so much more. I've always related to the Beats because they know how to live that way, too, making life some wild, mad, spiritual journey. Say what you want about how I choose to live, but I don't blink or hesitate to find adventure at every corner.

I'd love it if you lurked. I have a MySpace, too, and I don't mind surveys, although I don't post there myself. I don't like how MySpace says it owns your posts. I do read an interact in that forum, though.

Whatever you wish as well. I wish you good things.

Re: i do so remember!

[farce_life]

The turtle's path does seem to work for me though turtles do live a muddy existence down on their bellies, and they hide a lot in their shells while so much changes outside.
You are right about both men and women clinging to masks. However, I do think women are worse off in that they are seen unfairly as crazy or wild or whorish if they try to go their own path. If you would like to "add me" at myspace my profile address is: http://www.myspace.com/hisnameisbalthazar
I'd like to have you as a friend there! It's mostly brothers and sisters and close friends that I have added there.