You Know somedays...
I get really tired of all the back bighting and in-fighting in the anti adoption community. It's one thing to say we want reform, that we want all of this stupidity to end. That adoption is the wrong choice, that is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It is another thing to say rotten things to each other when we disagree about how to get what we want. Snarky comments about other peoples blogs, snarky comments about people and the organizations they work for, snarky comments everywhere I look.. Why? That is the big question. Why when so many of us want the same thing? Why do I see lines drawn between the Baby Scoop Mothers and the rest of us? Is it that our pain seems less to them? It is that they just don't give a damn about us because you know "we had a choice?" Is it that those women can't see past their own pain? Or is it that they are so lost in it that they can't see ours? That because we weren't forced into maternity homes we are somehow better off than they were? I hurt as much as any mother who was forced into this situation, my choice was not really a choice in the end. I grew up with the idea that adoption was a good thing. My aunt was almost one of The Girls Who Went Away. She was lucky, instead of going away she got married and had two more babies before she passed away at the age of 26. I didn't get lucky, I fell for the party line, hook, line, and sinker. I lost my daughter because of that. Because I believed the bullshit they fed me, I drank that Kool-aid right on down.
Let's talk about that Kool Aid shall we? About how sweet it tastes at first, how easily we swallow it. How easily we believe that our children will be better off without us, because after all what do we have to offer? We don't have husbands, we don't have two incomes, or fancy houses and all the actrouments people seem to think we need to raise a family. What we do have is a fierce love for our children, and the agencies and social workers take advantage of that. Sadly one day you wake up and realize that Kool-aid was really poison. That the sweetness was really just a cover for the bitter aftertaste that was coming. That the Kool-aid was just as much poison as the Kool-aid Jim Jones fed to the people of his temple and just as deadly in some cases.
So what do you do when you wake up to that fact? Why you begin searching for others like you. The ones who won't stay in the closet they were shoved into. We start speaking and in the process we learn that Oh My God we are not the only ones who feel this way! You start to speak out, and tell others what you have learned. This thing called the internet has made it possible to connect with others that are just like you. Those suffering just like you are, and you think, I've come home, I am not alone. Then well golly gee some of these same people disagree on how to effect the changes we all know need to occur and whamo you have instant division and angst and oh god help us, hate! Some who believe that their way is the only way, some who believe that they must ally themselves with other groups who are like minded on some issues. The one who say my way or the highway have a vested interest in trying to silence those of us who think differently. So where does that leave us? It leaves us as a House Divided. What is that they say about divided houses? Oh right they fall down and fail! I have no intention of failing, I every intention of continuing as I have and trying to effect the changes we need. Those who snark about others well I try hard to leave it alone, it does me no credit to fall for the bait they leave those of us who think differently. I suppose if Handsome is as handsome does, the too Snarky is as snarky does right>
So yeah I guess I will leave it alone if I can, otherwise I lower myself to that level and personally I have better things to do with my time.
Let's talk about that Kool Aid shall we? About how sweet it tastes at first, how easily we swallow it. How easily we believe that our children will be better off without us, because after all what do we have to offer? We don't have husbands, we don't have two incomes, or fancy houses and all the actrouments people seem to think we need to raise a family. What we do have is a fierce love for our children, and the agencies and social workers take advantage of that. Sadly one day you wake up and realize that Kool-aid was really poison. That the sweetness was really just a cover for the bitter aftertaste that was coming. That the Kool-aid was just as much poison as the Kool-aid Jim Jones fed to the people of his temple and just as deadly in some cases.
So what do you do when you wake up to that fact? Why you begin searching for others like you. The ones who won't stay in the closet they were shoved into. We start speaking and in the process we learn that Oh My God we are not the only ones who feel this way! You start to speak out, and tell others what you have learned. This thing called the internet has made it possible to connect with others that are just like you. Those suffering just like you are, and you think, I've come home, I am not alone. Then well golly gee some of these same people disagree on how to effect the changes we all know need to occur and whamo you have instant division and angst and oh god help us, hate! Some who believe that their way is the only way, some who believe that they must ally themselves with other groups who are like minded on some issues. The one who say my way or the highway have a vested interest in trying to silence those of us who think differently. So where does that leave us? It leaves us as a House Divided. What is that they say about divided houses? Oh right they fall down and fail! I have no intention of failing, I every intention of continuing as I have and trying to effect the changes we need. Those who snark about others well I try hard to leave it alone, it does me no credit to fall for the bait they leave those of us who think differently. I suppose if Handsome is as handsome does, the too Snarky is as snarky does right>
So yeah I guess I will leave it alone if I can, otherwise I lower myself to that level and personally I have better things to do with my time.