"The purpose of our new film is to make you feel like a pervert."
Okay, there's a new movie coming out for the tween set.
It's called Aquamarine, and stars Sara Paxton, Emma Roberts, and JoJo, (don't ask), three little girls, ages sixteen, fifteen, and fifteen, respectively.
The plot of the film is thus: Two best friends find a cool girl and become best friends with her. BIG SHOCKER SPOILER: She turns out to be a MERMAID. Holy shit, right? Anyway, here's the reason whoever marketed this film needs to be institutionalized or shot.
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0429591/Ss/0429591/138.jpg?path=gallery&path_key=0429591
EVERY. SINGLE. GOD. DAMN. TIME. SHE. TURNS. INTO. A. FUCKING. MERMAID. SHE. BECOMES. A. GOD. DAMN....
TOPLESS SIXTEEN YEAR OLD FUCKING GIRL!
AND IT'S ON THE GODDAMN MOVIE POSTERS HUNG ALL THE FUCK OVER GATEWAY MALL.
TOPLESS SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS. TOPLESS. TOPLESS. TOPLESS SIXTEEN YEAR OLD FUCKING GIRLS.
THERE IS NO GOD DAMN WAY FOR ANY NORMAL FUCKING MALE TO LOOK AT THAT AND SAY, "HEY! I DON'T FEEL LIKE A FUCKING PERVERT NOW! THANKS A PANTSLOAD 20th CENTURY FUCKING FOX!
It doesn't even matter if you think she's attractive, you still just looked at a fucking topless sixteen year old fucking girl who plays the, "OH MY GOD, WHERE'S MY SHIRT?! OH WELL, MY HAIR KINDA COVERS IT. WHATEV'!"
JESUS CHRIST.
It's called Aquamarine, and stars Sara Paxton, Emma Roberts, and JoJo, (don't ask), three little girls, ages sixteen, fifteen, and fifteen, respectively.
The plot of the film is thus: Two best friends find a cool girl and become best friends with her. BIG SHOCKER SPOILER: She turns out to be a MERMAID. Holy shit, right? Anyway, here's the reason whoever marketed this film needs to be institutionalized or shot.
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0429591/Ss/0429591/138.jpg?path=gallery&path_key=0429591
EVERY. SINGLE. GOD. DAMN. TIME. SHE. TURNS. INTO. A. FUCKING. MERMAID. SHE. BECOMES. A. GOD. DAMN....
TOPLESS SIXTEEN YEAR OLD FUCKING GIRL!
AND IT'S ON THE GODDAMN MOVIE POSTERS HUNG ALL THE FUCK OVER GATEWAY MALL.
TOPLESS SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS. TOPLESS. TOPLESS. TOPLESS SIXTEEN YEAR OLD FUCKING GIRLS.
THERE IS NO GOD DAMN WAY FOR ANY NORMAL FUCKING MALE TO LOOK AT THAT AND SAY, "HEY! I DON'T FEEL LIKE A FUCKING PERVERT NOW! THANKS A PANTSLOAD 20th CENTURY FUCKING FOX!
It doesn't even matter if you think she's attractive, you still just looked at a fucking topless sixteen year old fucking girl who plays the, "OH MY GOD, WHERE'S MY SHIRT?! OH WELL, MY HAIR KINDA COVERS IT. WHATEV'!"
JESUS CHRIST.