U and I both are the same people
I have loved you for a long time and I love talking to you more than anything. When i first started this journal thing I was like it's looking really cool, but the thing is that it's mostly intended for you eventually one day to read this so I can write down everything and then later on in the future u can read it. I miss you and I know we will work this out. I don't like that you cheated on me but it's reality u did and I can't nor you can change it. I try my best to put it in the past but it is very complicated. These images pop into my mind and they are not just any images, they are very visual, almost like a bad dream that won't go away and then they keep playing over and over like a bad record that is stuck. I am trying to figure things out and I want more than anything for us to stay together as long as possible. Many people will say they do not agree with my decision I am making involving you and I being together simply because you did cheat on me and not just with anyone, it was my ex friend Stephanie. It does hurt me alot, but I think about a situation I went through in my past at the beginning of the year with a guy I cared for deeply and I made a mistake and wished he would of gave me a second chance to proove my loyalty again and faithfullness. Everyone makes a statement saying:once a cheater,always a cheater. WELL that is not alway true. I put myself in your shoes. I do have my mind made up and I told you already that the first minuter i feel that you are discouraging me in any way, or belittling me, or constantly accousing me of nonsense;then were done. The thing with Damion, well I think your nuts if you think I like him in that way, I already admitted that he is cute but that is as far as that goes. His personality makes him ugly to me. He is your younger brother and I am not interested whats so ever. U are my love and YOU are my bubba and I can't seem to be with no one else. I have never been this committed in a relationship, this loyal, this faithful, ever and I believe we can make this work. Relationships take time and effort and mostly patience. U tend to criticize me way too much but u have no room to speak, honestly u are just in the same boat as me only ur alot more deeper than me u cheated I did not. So we are just like one another, we both have problems, we both are fucked up in the head but tend to convince ourselves of what we want and then we try to make it reality. I love you and ONE day when I am ready for you to read this I will allow it but till then this is the only way I can proove to you that I don't cheat on you because I will write in this journal about EVERYTHING so you know that I'm not leaving anything out . I love you . I will pray for you every day till you come home to me and we can be a normal couple. I hope that all goes good for you in Iraq and stay safe and don't get killed Fabian c. Calvert (my bubba)