(no subject)
So I'm home early for Thanksgiving Break. But I'm far from happy. My grandpa died this afternoon. I didn't hear about it until this evening. (My phone was off since I basically have classes all day on Tuesdays) I left my late classes, got dinner, went back to my dorm and found my dad waiting for me. He gave me the bad news, and I just collapsed into a chair and started sobbing. I packed in kind of a trance. I remember at one point I physically could not stand up, dropped to the floor and started crying all over again. My dad was in the bathroom, so thankfully he didn't see this. God forbid either of my parents know I still have a soul.
I'm home now, and my personality can best be described as shell-shocked. My mom is clearly upset, as he was her father of course. She's going through a bunch of old photos for the funeral that she wants to put on a board there. There's a sense of relief hanging over everyone though. No more 45-minute drives for my mother every weekend to make sure he's okay when her own fucking BROTHER lives five minutes away from him. (It will take every ounce of will I possess to stop myself from decking my selfish bastard of an uncle at the funeral.) No more worrying if it's bad news every time the phone rings. No more suffering for him. No more strokes or heart attacks. No more needles or surgeries. No more pain.
My grandmother died seven years ago and he's pined for her ever since. (They were married for over fifty years when she died. Pretty good length of time, but as he described it, it wasn't nearly enough.) The thought of my grandparents finally reunited in whatever afterlife there is is something I take a strange comfort in. Just the knowledge that love like that really exists, love that can last so long, love that can't even be stopped by death makes me deliriously happy and utterly miserable at the same time.
I know it's late. I tried to sleep just and I started thinking about a story he used to tell me and my brother. He served in the Coast Guard during World War II, and he'd always talk about when they had to get vaccinated, the toughest, most muscular guy in his group fainted at the sight of the needle. I just kept thinking about how he'd always crack up at the end of that story. He loved telling us stories.
That's about the point where I started sobbing hysterically again and decided to go online.
I'm home now, and my personality can best be described as shell-shocked. My mom is clearly upset, as he was her father of course. She's going through a bunch of old photos for the funeral that she wants to put on a board there. There's a sense of relief hanging over everyone though. No more 45-minute drives for my mother every weekend to make sure he's okay when her own fucking BROTHER lives five minutes away from him. (It will take every ounce of will I possess to stop myself from decking my selfish bastard of an uncle at the funeral.) No more worrying if it's bad news every time the phone rings. No more suffering for him. No more strokes or heart attacks. No more needles or surgeries. No more pain.
My grandmother died seven years ago and he's pined for her ever since. (They were married for over fifty years when she died. Pretty good length of time, but as he described it, it wasn't nearly enough.) The thought of my grandparents finally reunited in whatever afterlife there is is something I take a strange comfort in. Just the knowledge that love like that really exists, love that can last so long, love that can't even be stopped by death makes me deliriously happy and utterly miserable at the same time.
I know it's late. I tried to sleep just and I started thinking about a story he used to tell me and my brother. He served in the Coast Guard during World War II, and he'd always talk about when they had to get vaccinated, the toughest, most muscular guy in his group fainted at the sight of the needle. I just kept thinking about how he'd always crack up at the end of that story. He loved telling us stories.
That's about the point where I started sobbing hysterically again and decided to go online.