"The less you have to offer, the less you have to lose"
Sometimes I sit and wonder if maybe getting married the WAY I did wasnt the right way...
Granted I have no regrets about WHO I married or even that I married him... he makes me happy... happier than anyone ever has... he is my best friend... there are no questions about that...
But sometimes i think maybe I should have had a real wedding... with invitations and everything... you know, having a bridal party and such... but honestly...
who the hell would come??? Those who were invited to the party a couple months ago didnt even show... well some people did (THANK YOU!) but some people didnt... and they didnt even wish a congrats or anything... its like no one even cares anymore...
seriously... other than my sister who would be in my bridal party... I know there is nothing wrong with only having a maid of honor... but seriously, if I chose to have more who would be there?
Beth is a strong posibility... and maybe Rebecca... but who am I close to anymore???
What I am saying is that I have no true friends... I mean there is Tim of course but even we have grown distant... but true true through and trhough friends... where are they????
Is there anyone out there who would seriously take a bullet for me? Other than Mike I really dont know of anyone I would do that for.
Blah blah things change... if you are a true friend it wouldnt change... no matter how far apart...
Who are you true friends??? Raise your hand??? if I dont know your there then obviously it isnt real...
I am extremely sad right now... If I were to ever have a wedding again (like a renewal of vows or something) who would even come? Who would I even invite? is it even worth doing that?
Who would come to Illinois to visit us right now??? and who would even bother making the trip to see us when we move again???
Is it worth it? i know nothing of whats going on in some of my "friends" lives right now... I dont even know what schools people teach at or even where some people live... christ i dont even have phone numbers...
shame on me for picking up so fast and leaving... but honestly... I got in touch with who i figured was worth the information when i arrived where I did... and very few returned the favor...
I am sad... cheer me up, if there is even a friend out there...
Granted I have no regrets about WHO I married or even that I married him... he makes me happy... happier than anyone ever has... he is my best friend... there are no questions about that...
But sometimes i think maybe I should have had a real wedding... with invitations and everything... you know, having a bridal party and such... but honestly...
who the hell would come??? Those who were invited to the party a couple months ago didnt even show... well some people did (THANK YOU!) but some people didnt... and they didnt even wish a congrats or anything... its like no one even cares anymore...
seriously... other than my sister who would be in my bridal party... I know there is nothing wrong with only having a maid of honor... but seriously, if I chose to have more who would be there?
Beth is a strong posibility... and maybe Rebecca... but who am I close to anymore???
What I am saying is that I have no true friends... I mean there is Tim of course but even we have grown distant... but true true through and trhough friends... where are they????
Is there anyone out there who would seriously take a bullet for me? Other than Mike I really dont know of anyone I would do that for.
Blah blah things change... if you are a true friend it wouldnt change... no matter how far apart...
Who are you true friends??? Raise your hand??? if I dont know your there then obviously it isnt real...
I am extremely sad right now... If I were to ever have a wedding again (like a renewal of vows or something) who would even come? Who would I even invite? is it even worth doing that?
Who would come to Illinois to visit us right now??? and who would even bother making the trip to see us when we move again???
Is it worth it? i know nothing of whats going on in some of my "friends" lives right now... I dont even know what schools people teach at or even where some people live... christ i dont even have phone numbers...
shame on me for picking up so fast and leaving... but honestly... I got in touch with who i figured was worth the information when i arrived where I did... and very few returned the favor...
I am sad... cheer me up, if there is even a friend out there...