i dont know!
Sometimes i think we are all like those dolls, at certain times, and to a certain extent.
WHAT AM I? WHAT IS THIS?
Im sure we've all asked ourselves these questions, and searched far and wide to find some kind of answer or even just an explanation.
But why is it human instict to search, why do most feel the need to search at certain times in their lives??
Im not sure if we will ever find satisfaction in knowing the answers to those questions. I mean, if we did know the answers when we were born, not having to discover and learn for ourselves, then what would be the point or the fun in living?
We wont ever learn these things instantly, we will learn along the way.
I think the only time when we will truly find those answers is in our last moments, when all the good times, all the milestones and memories come racing back to us and flash before our eyes.
This sudden realisation should be the only thing that matters.
We shouldn't spend our lives searching, because in the end the answers will be there.
So in a way, if you search right now, you are wasting your life.
It's kinda like at easter time. When your parents hid easter eggs in the backyard. When you are young you'd search frantically to find these eggs (because you HAD to be the first one to find them), not knowing if they were there, or even if they were WORTH searching for.
But when you are older, you saw where your parents hid them all. So instead of running around like a lunatic. You'd just wait and stroll around, enjoying the ride, casually picking up all the delicious easter eggs. And you'd enjoy them slowly, savouring each bite. While all the little kids guzzled them down before they even knew what they were!
In saying all that. In life, would you rather be the frantic lunatic, who searches so desperately he forgets what he was searching for in the first place. Then devours and rips to shreds what he does find in a instant. OR would you rather be the one who doesn't worry, cruises around and really had the best time of their life, because they already KNOW the answer is at the end of the puzzle! They don't need to fret, because they know its already set in stone in the end.
I don't know if that will make sense to anyone else. But it sure does to me. And it sure makes me thankful of who I am able to be, and it sure makes me fucking scared about what is going through your mind and how hard the path is going to be.