(Untitled)

Mar 15, 2007 01:19

After happy times come sad times. And my livejournal has been lacking a sad post, so here it goes ( Read more... )

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damanique March 15 2007, 05:29:02 UTC
*hugs you* Damn, not good huh. It sucks the themepark job didn't go through :\

Hmmm... as for the physical thing.. there's nothing wrong with being physical. But a lot of women may not like getting physical too early, when they're just getting to know you.

LOL, speed dating. Who knows?

The thing is, you've no problem getting to know new people and stepping up to them. But like I said before the way you approach them will often have them believe you're only interested in One Thing, and they will either use you for that or run away because they don't want it.

Maybe it doesn't make sense to you, but as a woman, I know I get confused when a guy seems to like me but is very physical about it. Does he like *me*? No, I only just met him, he doesn't know me - then what's he doing it for? Sex? I suppose so, men are like that. I'm not sure I want a relationship based only on that.

This is how most monogamous women who don't do casual sex tend to think. So perhaps, even though the physical thing is just who you are, toning it down in the beginning will stop you from giving off the wrong impression. Know what I mean?

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murdocnl March 15 2007, 10:29:58 UTC
But if I hold back, then she might think "hey, he's not all that physical" and is in for a big surprise along the way. *sigh*

How can I be myself if there are so many contradicting sides to myself?

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damanique March 15 2007, 19:53:53 UTC
Well hon, welcome to being human. Everyone's got these inner conflicts, and it sucks, but it's actually quite normal. All these contradicting things ARE part of who you are.

And being physical a lot can be part of a more intimate relationship. But most people don't find that out until they start getting physically closer to someone and having sex with them, they don't know that on the first or second date! The idea is that you develop an emotional bond that becomes stronger, and when the moment's there that you get physically intimate, she'll find out how intense you are about that. Of course, you may have *told* her this, but theory isn't the same as practical.

I'm not saying it's impossible to start a good relationship with physical stuff first. That happens all the time. It's just that you've been at that pattern for so long and it's not working for you, so I'm giving you my point of view. I'm not saying it's the absolute truth. ;)

So just take it easier at the beginning, don't jump them and try to hit second base on the first date. You know? At the same time, don't hide who you are either.

I don't know, maybe it takes practice to get it down. Myself, I have a lot of trouble resisting flattery and flirting ;) A guy could make me fall for him in one evening - not necessarily physically, but emotionally I can get taken by someone very quickly. I need to be less desperate, but deep down I still feel I'm ugly and unworthy and nobody'll fall in love with me anyway, etc., so when I get attention I'm like a puppy going OMG OMG OMG. So that's my issue right there.

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