(no subject)
Flat bike tire. Quiet houses that making noise in sometimes feels like lighting a match in a blizzard. Hocking loogies and nose blowing. Blowing out the things that aren't serving me anymore. The same function happens with my heart, except it comes out of my mouth mostly. Coughing out the things my heart does that doesn't work well anymore. And teaching it that it doesn't have to protect me in the way that it used to. It's okay now. We're okay now. Safe.
Bluh I want it to be sunny already. I want to be on tour already, on adventures in sunny places. I want to have confidence in myself and know that I'm filling my life with beauty. I do have that. I want to have trust in my relationships and know that it's not going to disappear and that my friends and partner love me and are in this for the long-haul. I want them to know that I'm there for them too.
I want to have close family to wake up and hug and make breakfast and coffee with every morning, and have slumber parties and watch movies and have heart-to-hearts with, and tell each other that we love each other, and go to shows and be rowdy and silly and take drugs and be boozy together, and make music and zines and art together. Am I describing Alamingo? I guess in reality I am, and I know I won't find anything like that house here in Portland. But I do know what I want and whats healthy for me and I'm working on getting it. I'm getting there. Mofwwfowffowfowof.
Bluh I want it to be sunny already. I want to be on tour already, on adventures in sunny places. I want to have confidence in myself and know that I'm filling my life with beauty. I do have that. I want to have trust in my relationships and know that it's not going to disappear and that my friends and partner love me and are in this for the long-haul. I want them to know that I'm there for them too.
I want to have close family to wake up and hug and make breakfast and coffee with every morning, and have slumber parties and watch movies and have heart-to-hearts with, and tell each other that we love each other, and go to shows and be rowdy and silly and take drugs and be boozy together, and make music and zines and art together. Am I describing Alamingo? I guess in reality I am, and I know I won't find anything like that house here in Portland. But I do know what I want and whats healthy for me and I'm working on getting it. I'm getting there. Mofwwfowffowfowof.