(no subject)
I am feeling exhausty low energy. Mainly because of being up until about 4am last night/morning. A night adventure down to PDX to listen to Caspa woab woab woabing at a bar club place. I have a dislike for the bar setting that dubstep shows typically get set up at. I think because I don't really like environments with pooploads of alcohol. alcohol usually makes me feel like I have a harder time connecting to peoples.
Which was another thing that was going through my body/head in going to Portland for just a short time. I've usually gone for multiple days in the past to get a chance to say hi to some lovelies in those parts and have more time to connect to folk, and I was hesitant to go down for just a night, knowing that I probably wouldn't get the chance to connect to folk. I think a lot of it comes from feeling insecure and transitional about feeling grounded in who I get support from and having a solid network of friends.
I think I basically worry about not having significance in peoples' lives. huurrfff... which I suppose is kind of a selfish thing. But it's comforting to know that people care about you.
I want to feel strong in myself and be a solitary pillar of Amina. But dude it's hard sometimes. Especially in transition. I want to remember to keep giving energy to my friends when I can healthily, and extend my heart. Because in the end everyone is needing support from each other, and the best we can do is help each other out when we can. Because we care about each other.
Which was another thing that was going through my body/head in going to Portland for just a short time. I've usually gone for multiple days in the past to get a chance to say hi to some lovelies in those parts and have more time to connect to folk, and I was hesitant to go down for just a night, knowing that I probably wouldn't get the chance to connect to folk. I think a lot of it comes from feeling insecure and transitional about feeling grounded in who I get support from and having a solid network of friends.
I think I basically worry about not having significance in peoples' lives. huurrfff... which I suppose is kind of a selfish thing. But it's comforting to know that people care about you.
I want to feel strong in myself and be a solitary pillar of Amina. But dude it's hard sometimes. Especially in transition. I want to remember to keep giving energy to my friends when I can healthily, and extend my heart. Because in the end everyone is needing support from each other, and the best we can do is help each other out when we can. Because we care about each other.