voice_post o13
Oh yeah. That was a load've fun.
Nothin' says "I've got nuts; they jus' shrink back into my body whenever parasitic aliens have their way with me" quite like rollin' around, whinin' like a baby in front of a pretty blond. Way t'be cool, Logan.
Anyway.
Jenova? Fuck off, n'leave me alone.
Claire? Thanks, uh... for all that. Yeah.
TECHNOLOGY
Q. What is your wallpaper on your terminal?
Nothin'. I ain't fancyin' this shit up, for god's sake. It's a terminal, not a damn tea room.
Q. How many televisions do you have in your house?
None. Don't have a room, and there ain't no electricity.
BIOLOGY
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right. I only use the left t'flip people off. I like t'mix it up a little.
Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
I know for sure that I have. What specifically s'beyond me.
Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Claire.
Q. Have you ever been knocked out?
Once're twice. Never for long, though.
BULLSHITOLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Yep. Why not?
Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
John Jakob Rockafeller. Shit, son... I don't know. The hell kinda questions're these, anyway?
Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
Seein' as how I don't have the ovaries t'answer this without stabbin' myself in the face, pass.
Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
Ever swallow a Tylenol? That ain't food. Real creative there, survey.
DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Yeah, no.
Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
Cut completely off? Impossible. Next.
Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
... what the fuck is a blog?
Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
I'll try anythin' twice.
Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Been there, done that.
Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
Me? Kill someone without fear've punishment? Who the hell d'you take me for? Aheh.
DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
A rock.
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
Never saw it.
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Don't have a house. I've got nothin'.
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
I rotate. What the hell... who sits?
Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
... pass. M'startin' to regret fillin' out this thing...
LASTOLOGY
Q: Last person who sent you a text message?
Don't remember.
Q: Last person who called you?
Claire called me an ass. That count?
Q: Person you hugged?
I don't hug.
FAVORITOLOGY
Q: Number?
9
Q: Season?
Winter.
Q: Color?
Uh... shit... I dunno.
CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
Nope.
Q: Mood?
Is hungry n'annoyed a mood?
Q: Listening to?
Claire babblin' about somethin' I ain't payin' attention to.
Q: Watching?
A bug on the floor. S'stuck on its back, the poor fucker.
Q: Worrying about?
The bug, at th'moment.
Q: Wearing?
T-shirt, jeans, boots.
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
The shitter.
Q: What can you not wait to do?
Move upward.
Q: Do you smile often?
Why?
Q: Are you a friendly person?
The friendliest, dicknose.
Well. That was magical.
Nothin' says "I've got nuts; they jus' shrink back into my body whenever parasitic aliens have their way with me" quite like rollin' around, whinin' like a baby in front of a pretty blond. Way t'be cool, Logan.
Anyway.
Jenova? Fuck off, n'leave me alone.
Claire? Thanks, uh... for all that. Yeah.
TECHNOLOGY
Q. What is your wallpaper on your terminal?
Nothin'. I ain't fancyin' this shit up, for god's sake. It's a terminal, not a damn tea room.
Q. How many televisions do you have in your house?
None. Don't have a room, and there ain't no electricity.
BIOLOGY
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right. I only use the left t'flip people off. I like t'mix it up a little.
Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
I know for sure that I have. What specifically s'beyond me.
Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Claire.
Q. Have you ever been knocked out?
Once're twice. Never for long, though.
BULLSHITOLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Yep. Why not?
Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
John Jakob Rockafeller. Shit, son... I don't know. The hell kinda questions're these, anyway?
Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
Seein' as how I don't have the ovaries t'answer this without stabbin' myself in the face, pass.
Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
Ever swallow a Tylenol? That ain't food. Real creative there, survey.
DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Yeah, no.
Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
Cut completely off? Impossible. Next.
Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
... what the fuck is a blog?
Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
I'll try anythin' twice.
Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Been there, done that.
Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
Me? Kill someone without fear've punishment? Who the hell d'you take me for? Aheh.
DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
A rock.
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
Never saw it.
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Don't have a house. I've got nothin'.
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
I rotate. What the hell... who sits?
Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
... pass. M'startin' to regret fillin' out this thing...
LASTOLOGY
Q: Last person who sent you a text message?
Don't remember.
Q: Last person who called you?
Claire called me an ass. That count?
Q: Person you hugged?
I don't hug.
FAVORITOLOGY
Q: Number?
9
Q: Season?
Winter.
Q: Color?
Uh... shit... I dunno.
CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
Nope.
Q: Mood?
Is hungry n'annoyed a mood?
Q: Listening to?
Claire babblin' about somethin' I ain't payin' attention to.
Q: Watching?
A bug on the floor. S'stuck on its back, the poor fucker.
Q: Worrying about?
The bug, at th'moment.
Q: Wearing?
T-shirt, jeans, boots.
RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
The shitter.
Q: What can you not wait to do?
Move upward.
Q: Do you smile often?
Why?
Q: Are you a friendly person?
The friendliest, dicknose.
Well. That was magical.