Today is the first time in a long time

[murderimpromptu]

than a knife went through my heart. Like seriously stabbed it.

I haven't been this sad in ages.

Today sucked balls in school

and now I go home finding out that the girl I love more than anything in the world

got a boyfriend.

Yeah, I am happy for her, and that she is in a whole different continent for another couple of months (yeah, she is coming back for sure now) and there are obviously going to be other guys there

but....

....I thought that I would be the first one in a long time to share those feelings with her.

I guess this is the first time that I really cried about her.

And just yesterday, I was looking at her yearbook picture and I said to myself, "She completes me."

I know I am not being realistic about it but, I just can't fucking help it.

Of course I am going to talk to her soon, maybe tomorrow if she's online.

Though, she is online now, but I just can't say a single fucking word to her just right now.

I don't want to be immature about it, and if I am, then her whole attitude about me is going to change.

God.....I just don't know right now.

But one thing is for sure.

nothing will stop me from loving her.