(no subject)
so im all fucked up righ now and everything is hitting me at once and it fucking hurts so bad i dont no what to do god i want to fucking kill my self right now and just say the fuck it i had my nife out a little whill ago and i was holding it on my rist and i wanted to cut it so bad i wanted to watch my self die right thene and there but i just couldent i was crying so hardi new if i did that there would be so many people mad at me marshell my little abgel god i love her so much thatsone of the problims i have righ now its xmas and she wont be with me and u guys have no ideal how that fells then theres ashley the woman i fell in love with u no i told her somethind last night i have never told anyone ok let me tall the story really quick about my first love brooke she was the only person i have ever loved in my life thatw aent family she loved me just as much and we were the best couple ever but then on hollowen night she was with her ant adn cousin and thay were on there way home from there cabin and her ant was drunk and rolled the car and killed all 3 but brooke was alive till the abulince got there thene she passed i have neever loved anyone since then ever like i lovedher never but last night i was lying with ash and we were talking about us nd out of no where i told ash i love her and i love her more then i ever loved brooke that scared me so bad not a bad one just that i have nevr told anyone that ever not evern my ex wish shi u guys i have truly fallen in love and thats why im so scared right now couse im so afraid im going to lose her bye death another guy girl something like thta i dont no i no she would never cheet on me r anything like that but u no im stil scarecd u guys have to no im getting old im 23 its time for me to settle down and be with the one i lve will thats ash she is he one i love i have a lot of people to thanks for me and ash ut most of alli have to think ash cous eshe is the one that loves me back we r so in love i have never in my life been so happy(other thene marshell being born) i wish she really new how much love im in with her god i dont no what im saying i have to go i loe u ashley i do and all u botches out there this is fuckign xmas we r suposed to be a family we need to be with each other to tell u the truth i need it this is r first xmas togetther and i have never spent it with a real family before and u guys r my falily i cant even spell ill talk to u guys later i miss u b man hawk best dream spirit burd very one god i do night botches ..............sluts-4-life