[Fic] Just to Tear it Down
Title: Just to Tear it Down
Author: Raserei Hojo
Status: Oneshot - Finished
Rating: PG
Pairing: Slight Murata x Yuuri, slight Shinou x Daikenja
Summary: Murata has a few unsaid words that he doubts will ever be said to the right person.
x-posted to kyou_kara_maou
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There was not a single Mazoku who did not know of King Yuuri’s engagement to Wolfram von Bielefeld. After all, with the aforementioned blond screaming things such as, “You cheater!” or “You wimp!” how could anyone honestly not know?
So, as the day of the wedding drew nearer, Murata spent his time leaning against walls with his arms crossed just-so, listening to Yuuri whine and sputter about how he didn’t want to marry Wolfram.
“I don’t want to marry Wolfram!” Yuuri moaned this particular time--although there was never much variation between Yuuri's protests. He placed his arms meaningfully on Murata’s shoulders and stared squarely into his eyes. “I just can’t marry a guy!”
Murata could never help but to nod in some feign understanding when Yuuri acted this way. “You don’t want to marry him, but you know that by refusing to marry him, Wolfram will take a serious blow to his pride.”
“Exactly!” Yuuri shouted and followed up with a sigh. “It’s weird, thinking I’m going to have to marry my best friend. Wolfram is right. I am a wimp.”
“Shibuya, you’re anything but a wimp. When you make decisions, you stick to them. That kind of action takes guts.” He offered Yuuri a kind smile, although he tilted his head in angle where the light glared ominously off his glasses.
“Why couldn’t I have a normal marriage with a woman?!”
Murata thought about this for a moment and responded, “Well, you’re the one who slapped him. You proposed, not him. If you had been a bit more manly, you might have punched him instead.”
“If only I had taken it back when Lady Cecelia had asked me to.” Yuuri gave an exaggerated sigh and leaned against the wall beside Murata. “What do I do?”
“I think it’s best if you marry him. After all, you love him as a friend at least. So in actuality, it really is marrying your best friend--only he happens to be male.”
The two of them stood in silence for a while, Yuuri occasionally glancing down the halls half-expecting to see his blond fiancé racing toward him.
Finally, Yuuri spoke again. “I’d rather marry you instead.”
Murata nearly choked on something invisible. “W-What? Marry me?” He stared at Yuuri, eyes large and disbelieving. How suddenly out of character, Murata thought.
“Yeah!” Yuuri smiled at him. “I mean, if married you, you wouldn’t want to do any of that gay stuff with me.”
“Oh.” Murata composed himself and glanced aside. “Well, I think it’s highly inappropriate for the king of the demon kingdom and the great sage of the demon kingdom to have a relationship like that.”
“Inappropriate, maybe, but at least I wouldn’t have to stand in front of an alter and ki-ki… kiss… Wolfram.” A terrible shudder rushed through Yuuri’s body. “Ugh. If it was you, I could probably get by with a kiss on the cheek, you know?”
“Shibuya…” Murata’s voice seemed heavy. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but you are the demon king - the Maou. You should adhere to the customs here, which includes same-sex marriages being fairly common.”
“You’re right… But I don’t want to marry someone I don’t love romantically.”
Murata lightly tapped Yuuri on the temple. “Romance can always grow over time.” When he saw Yuuri shudder again, he decided it was best to end that particular topic. “At any rate, try not to get so depressed about it. After all, you’re our sun. When you’re frowning like that, you make those around you feel rather sad as well.”
Yuuri nodded firmly. “Okay. I’ve got to be brave.”
Murata nodded in encouragement. “Right. It’s better than having to marry Gwendal, isn’t it?”
“Definitely! Definitely!”
“Now go find Wolfram and tell him you love him!”
The adrenaline rush suddenly died in Yuuri. “Maybe later. I’m going to enjoy my last few days of being single.”
This time, an honest smile tugged on Murata’s lips. Yuuri began to pace nervously, and this time it was Murata who sighed heavily.
“Shinou…” The name spilled from Murata’s mouth and the memories came rushing back. His first body--that of the Great Sage--pressed against Shinou’s in a tight embrace.
It wasn’t fair. Why did the person he loved need to die to save the rest of the world? Why couldn’t Shinou, just once, be selfish? After all, the Great Sage wanted to be selfish… He wanted to stand in a meaningful field on a beautiful day where Shinou would lightly slap his cheek in proposal of marriage.
Unfortunately, war would not allow such frivolities. Shinou needed to part with his body and save the world from the Originators. He, as the Great Sage, understood that. But there was no way he could simply let Shinou walk out of his life like that.
The week ended and Shinou’s body was no more. Shinou never proposed to anyone--not even the Great Sage--and all that was left was a blindingly bright sphere of light. Clearly, letting someone walk out of your life forever wasn’t ever all that difficult.
The Great Sage--Murata Ken--never got to say he loved Shinou. He felt silly for feeling that way. After all, his love meant little to the rest of the world if the world were to perish because of the Originators.
“What did you say…? Shinou?”
Murata shook his head to clear his thoughts and turned to gaze at Yuuri. “Oh, you know me… I’ve got four thousand years of memories to sort through. They like to pop up unannounced in my head from time to time.
“You look… a little sad now.”
Murata laughed and pointed at his glasses. “It’s just my glasses playing tricks on you. My mood always seems to match the intensity of light glaring off these things.”
“I see.” Yuuri was frowning now, staring intently at Murata. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Murata looked at Yuuri, the person that he would do absolutely anything for without question, and nodded firmly. “I’m fine. I just had a few unsaid words back in my first life, and… Well, it doesn’t matter now.”
Yuuri cocked his head to the side. The way Murata suddenly shifted away and stiffened… Yuuri felt that Murata was trying to distance himself. “What happened back then? I know that sounded a little nosey, but…”
Murata tapped his chin with his index finger for a moment. “The sun is the center of the universe, and the moon, just as everything else, cannot help but to be drawn to it.”
“…Murata?”
He couldn’t stand it. Yuuri was just like Shinou--caring, but oblivious to everything around him until its shoved harshly into his face. Those innocent eyes, those supple lips, that tan skin--everything about Yuuri reminded him of Shinou.
“You know, for me, the line separating Shinou and you is very blurred. I know you both fairly well, and you have such similar personalities… For someone to love you must mean that they also love Shinou… It could work vice versa I suppose, but since you’re engaged in everything, that kind of logic is just silly.”
“I don’t understand what you're trying to say…”
It would be wrong to act on an impulse, Murata argued in his head. He knew very well that Yuuri Shibuya was not Shinou. He knew that there were such small, subtle differences in their personalities that it would be nearly impossible to differentiate the two at times, but Murata knew better. Making any kind of confession would be misdirected emotion.
“It’s fine,” Murata said half-heartedly. “I didn’t expect you to understand, Shibuya.”
“Murata, if you ever want to tell me anything, feel free to. I’m always here to listen.” Perhaps Yuuri sensed the loneliness that had made its nest in Murata’s heart. The king stepped forward, sliding his arms around Murata’s waist and pressing himself against him tightly. “Okay?”
For a moment, Murata couldn’t speak. He thought that on a humorous note, Yuuri would be very unlikely to hug Wolfram in this kind of situation. “Shibuya…”
Those unnecessary memories… They flooded back once again. He knew deep down that Yuuri was engaged to Wolfram and eventually--even if it took forty years--he would fall in love with the blond prince. At the same time, however, he knew that part of Yuuri contained his precious Shinou.
Murata simply leaned heavily against Yuuri and closed his eyes.
“You’re a very good friend to me, Murata. I don’t want to see you frowning like this. If I’m not allowed to frown, then neither are you.”
Murata chanced a glance at the lips that looked so much like Shinou’s; the lips he never got to kiss. Again, he told himself that Yuuri was not really Shinou. Yuuri was engaged. If the circumstances were different…
“You’re a good friend too, Shibuya.” He straightened, and Yuuri’s arms fell limply away. With a new smile, he said, “Thanks for always being there for me.” That was as close to I love you, as it was going to get. He patted Yuuri on the back and slowly began to trudge back to Shinou’s currently vacant temple.
Sometimes, he hated himself. Again and again he would build a protective wall, distancing himself from those near him. There was always someone there to tear down his wall; sometimes with a wrecking ball and sometimes with a plastic spoon, but someone would always break through his wall and Murata would have to build it back up again. It seemed that in this case, Shinou was the wrecking ball and Yuuri was the plastic spoon.
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Author's Note: I'm sure there's probably lots of OOCness. But I really wanted to write something, and I had fun writing this. It's my very first Murayuu (or whatever the fandom is called XD) and I'm moderately proud of it. I hope to do better in the future. I'd really appreciate it if you would comment though! It makes me happy!