I'm Not Ready to Play Nice
Tuesday afternoon after work, jamie and I lounged on our bed, a big map of North Carolina in front of us, just taking it all in.
"Are you still okay with doing this?" he asked.
Ever since we have decided to move life feels like it has been shifted into fast-forward. Great things are happening (like finding a perfect slip-cover for 30 bucks for the loveseat my cousin is giving us) and shitty things are happening.
the shittest of all is that my best friend's husband Rusty is being deployed to Iraq. I knew it was a possibilty so I really can't feign surprise (although, WTF he is National Guard), but still I can't fathom the unfairness of it all. I know many people with families and loved ones have and are being deployed to fight this Rich Man's war, but it seems so cosmically unfair that Jen and Russ should be ripped asunder after fighting to have a normal life like they now have.
Rusty is fairly pragmatic about the whole situation, regardless of his personal convictions. Brianna was just born and is a very healthy little girl so he at least got to see his baby before anything should have happened.
Now before anybody starts howling about a soldiers duty and commitment and all that jazz, be aware that I understand all of that. However, for me, this has just gotten personal. I always promised Jen that I would be there for her if Rusty was sent to fight; now it looks as though I will be leaving just when she needs me the most. this has caused a lot of anxiety on my part because I want to be a good friend to a woman who has always had my back no matter what. But how do you choose to be a good friend or build your own life regardless of where life takes you?
"Are you still okay with doing this?" he asked.
Ever since we have decided to move life feels like it has been shifted into fast-forward. Great things are happening (like finding a perfect slip-cover for 30 bucks for the loveseat my cousin is giving us) and shitty things are happening.
the shittest of all is that my best friend's husband Rusty is being deployed to Iraq. I knew it was a possibilty so I really can't feign surprise (although, WTF he is National Guard), but still I can't fathom the unfairness of it all. I know many people with families and loved ones have and are being deployed to fight this Rich Man's war, but it seems so cosmically unfair that Jen and Russ should be ripped asunder after fighting to have a normal life like they now have.
Rusty is fairly pragmatic about the whole situation, regardless of his personal convictions. Brianna was just born and is a very healthy little girl so he at least got to see his baby before anything should have happened.
Now before anybody starts howling about a soldiers duty and commitment and all that jazz, be aware that I understand all of that. However, for me, this has just gotten personal. I always promised Jen that I would be there for her if Rusty was sent to fight; now it looks as though I will be leaving just when she needs me the most. this has caused a lot of anxiety on my part because I want to be a good friend to a woman who has always had my back no matter what. But how do you choose to be a good friend or build your own life regardless of where life takes you?