Chapter 1:
The end of my first semester draws near, and will conclude once i hand in my bloody biology exam. Tonight is my last night here in Teresa hall with Allie as my roommate. Its been a great five months, so much has occurred and im very grateful for having been allowed this opportunity. I waited around for awhile, but i finally got my chance. Ill miss
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Your life has been like a Steve Gutenberg movie marathon-it's gone from bad to worse-and you still haven't reached the Police Academy films.
If it's true that you are what you eat, you're going to have trouble explaining that terrible rash.
The recent compliment you received about being as wonderful as a spring flower will turn hurtful when you realize that means you give people allergies and are surrounded by bees.
The best part about you is your smile, but that's probably because it's incapable of being loud and annoying.
You've grown up thinking it was your glass-breaking high voice that made you terrifying to children, but really, it's your third eye.
When nobody believes in you, you have to believe in yourself. Unfortunately, that won't be enough to prevent the jury from finding you guilty.
Your pre-pubescent attempts at dating will fall short when the female classmates you try to seduce invoke the height disparity caused by your lagging Y-chromosone.
You will win the lottery and forget that you live in a commune where the lottery winner is stoned in an attempt to stave off the impending apocalypse.
....just thought i'd share those before i threw it away.
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