So much still to do...

Jul 26, 2007 12:54

Processes processes processes...

I am in many of these at the moment!

I am strangely happy with this however. My life as it was had gotten quite borifying. This new one, filled with promise, hope, happiness, progress, change, growth and giggles is a much better. Livable. Enjoyable.

New friends, new relationships, new goals, new ways of behaving and coping. Those of you well acquainted with older versions of Puke may end up a bit scared. That's okay, as so am I... Those who've known me as an intelligent, deep, enjoyable conversationalist will be happier, as there is a great deal less of the old johnson talk (although it is still there), and a lot more of the pondering/thinking.

Strange to realize that I've been quite deeply depressed the whole time I've been back here in sunny Sydney. A great deal of my old behaviors can be explained (as opposed to justified) by this horrid state of mind. I drank to kill pain, annoyed to spread pain, and did many a bad thing out of boredom and frustration. Now, however, I know all this. I can no longer get away with this. My conscience (yes, I do have one) will not allow any further justification of stupidity.

So, where does that leave us? It leaves me with a great deal of work to do on a great deal of fronts. I need to find a house, start work again, reintroduce myself to the masses, concentrate on therapy and the lessons therein, get a handle on personal hygiene, get some exercise, procrastinate less, think more, write more, and a lot more besides.

In the end (it never ends), this leads to a better me for me, and all those I chose to be around. Don't go thinking this means a less fun Puke. Just a more well-rounded Puke.

That is all...
For now.
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