my birthday was on 3.2.1.0...and i feel like i AM at 0.
chris and i broke up yesterday.
it was a mutual decision, we both think i need to find one thing that truly makes me happy, so i can deal with some of the issues i have in life right now. i'm really sad, and i'm actually worried about him. i hope he's gunna be okay. ive never seen him cry the way he cried last night. i've never had to leave someone i still really cared about. its always been that ive either grown tired of, or hated the person when i left, and it makes it that much harder. i wish he did something i could be angry at him for so i dont have to feel this way. he didnt even get mad at me and blame me for some mistakes ive made, and i almost wish he would, coz now i have this guilt thats eating away at my insides. i was turning into a monster. i need to learn how to control my anger. i never cheated on him or anything, but sometimes i would talk to him like if he was worthless when he got me super mad. ive never done that before.
we arent ruling out trying again later. in fact, i think we both want to. we just have to see how life takes us on our path i guess. i hope its not too long of a wait before i find myself in this mess.
soul searching starts now.
it was a mutual decision, we both think i need to find one thing that truly makes me happy, so i can deal with some of the issues i have in life right now. i'm really sad, and i'm actually worried about him. i hope he's gunna be okay. ive never seen him cry the way he cried last night. i've never had to leave someone i still really cared about. its always been that ive either grown tired of, or hated the person when i left, and it makes it that much harder. i wish he did something i could be angry at him for so i dont have to feel this way. he didnt even get mad at me and blame me for some mistakes ive made, and i almost wish he would, coz now i have this guilt thats eating away at my insides. i was turning into a monster. i need to learn how to control my anger. i never cheated on him or anything, but sometimes i would talk to him like if he was worthless when he got me super mad. ive never done that before.
we arent ruling out trying again later. in fact, i think we both want to. we just have to see how life takes us on our path i guess. i hope its not too long of a wait before i find myself in this mess.
soul searching starts now.