(no subject)
Had a weird dream last night. Still has me a bit frazzled. This entry is mainly my way of dealing with it. I have my reasons for making it public. I don't write about love very often. I promise not to bore you with it. So, I've politely left it behind a cut. Click it if you wish to read about my dream. If not, I thank you for your time and please do come again. This is not something that will happen often, I promise. My emotions lately have gotten the best of me. If even the thought of love, make you sick to your stomach, then may I advise you to skip this entry and check out some of my other memorable posts here
'I dreamed about you last night. I am not happy about it. In fact, I am infuriated with myself for it. It's been ages since we've seen eye to eye. It's been ages since we've felt anything more than bitterness towards each other. The most mind-boggling thing about this whole ordeal is that I knew it was a dream, yet still, I can feel myself not wanting to wake up from it. Knowing damn well that when I do, I would feel this way. I wanted to stay in it. Somewhere peaceful. Away from here.
A place where my heart wasn't scarred.
A place where I still felt like loving something/someone that much.
A place where no matter what happens, there would be no hidden consequences that I would have to deal with later.
I wanted to stay asleep.
It's been what, 5 years? You know, I enlisted just to get away from you. As far as I could go. I guess half-way around the world wasn't far enough. I still thought about you then and sometimes, sometimes I think about you now.
I sometimes can't even recall what you look like. I remember there was a time where I could close my eyes and conjure up every minute detail of that beautiful face that I so dearly loved once. When I try to do that now, everything's a lot more fuzzier than it used to be. I guess in my own way, I wanted to forget. That was the only way I knew how to make myself move on. I told myself I rather remember the good times and ultimately try to forget the bad. Easier said than done I guess. I've essentially moved on with my life. I've done rather well, actually. But that nagging thought that creeps into my sub-conscience sometimes is the forbidden fruit I try to stay away from. Like Adam and Eve, eventually it will be the death of me. I've never been the one to burn bridges and so, because of that, I leave a path just thin enough for someone/something to squeeze by.
All of this doesn't mean anything really. Only that you still hold a piece of my wounded heart. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less.
Because of you, I don't believe in love anymore. Why go through all of that to just, one day, end up like this?
My better half knows I'm over you. My worse half is still skeptical. What they both agree on is that its over. It's been over for ages. Why dream about you now?
I've never been good with relationships. You and the dozen or so of other girls I've been with, can attest to that. I've given too much, and sometimes not enough. I don't have the secret formula. I didn't calculate the right equation. But one thing I think I did magnificently was, loving you. I am scared to try and fail again.
You are my Kryptonite.'
'I dreamed about you last night. I am not happy about it. In fact, I am infuriated with myself for it. It's been ages since we've seen eye to eye. It's been ages since we've felt anything more than bitterness towards each other. The most mind-boggling thing about this whole ordeal is that I knew it was a dream, yet still, I can feel myself not wanting to wake up from it. Knowing damn well that when I do, I would feel this way. I wanted to stay in it. Somewhere peaceful. Away from here.
A place where my heart wasn't scarred.
A place where I still felt like loving something/someone that much.
A place where no matter what happens, there would be no hidden consequences that I would have to deal with later.
I wanted to stay asleep.
It's been what, 5 years? You know, I enlisted just to get away from you. As far as I could go. I guess half-way around the world wasn't far enough. I still thought about you then and sometimes, sometimes I think about you now.
I sometimes can't even recall what you look like. I remember there was a time where I could close my eyes and conjure up every minute detail of that beautiful face that I so dearly loved once. When I try to do that now, everything's a lot more fuzzier than it used to be. I guess in my own way, I wanted to forget. That was the only way I knew how to make myself move on. I told myself I rather remember the good times and ultimately try to forget the bad. Easier said than done I guess. I've essentially moved on with my life. I've done rather well, actually. But that nagging thought that creeps into my sub-conscience sometimes is the forbidden fruit I try to stay away from. Like Adam and Eve, eventually it will be the death of me. I've never been the one to burn bridges and so, because of that, I leave a path just thin enough for someone/something to squeeze by.
All of this doesn't mean anything really. Only that you still hold a piece of my wounded heart. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less.
Because of you, I don't believe in love anymore. Why go through all of that to just, one day, end up like this?
My better half knows I'm over you. My worse half is still skeptical. What they both agree on is that its over. It's been over for ages. Why dream about you now?
I've never been good with relationships. You and the dozen or so of other girls I've been with, can attest to that. I've given too much, and sometimes not enough. I don't have the secret formula. I didn't calculate the right equation. But one thing I think I did magnificently was, loving you. I am scared to try and fail again.
You are my Kryptonite.'