insomniacism
livejournal is slowly dying, which is very upsetting.
summer has been good. it's going by too fast for one. but the memories are being made and this is a summer i will surely look by on and be sad that it passed. college is next year, meaning this is the last summer in high school. it's a scary but relieving thought. it's bittersweet. i really can't stand the thought of leaving friends behind. we all promise we will stay in touch and maybe we will. i know we will all meet so many new people that could become our best friends, husbands, and people that will stay with us all our lives. but the friends i have now, they are so perfect in my eyes, they are so compatable with me and gotten me through so many tough times, that they will leave their mark on me forever. they are truly irreplaceable and i hope they know that. i will forever remember the friends that i have right now. a lot of people are going to lsu, and even there it will be hard to stay in touch. but for those people that are going off out of state or farther away, it's going to be really hard for me to cope with that loss. we are now to that age of having deep life discussions, in between the drinking and being stupid of course hah, but it's amazing seeing how we're all growing up into these adults, yet we still have that little kid innocence left. it's the perfect time and i won't let it slip away. i'm not saying i'm scared of change or the future, quite the opposite. i'm ready to live and see where my life is headed, but i'd like some trusty companions along the way. a rather larger part of my life i've been concerned with lately is the love life. i've had my heart broken a few times, and i've broken my share in the never-ending hunt for... him. i want someone who is compatable with me, who appreciates me and i appreciate them just the same. it's not very complicated but then again it is at the same time. i know what i'm looking for but i'm just stuck on where to look. i'm not looking for mr. perfect at my age, but i'm just looking for someone who would work with me, who would click with me. it's so weird to think about feelings and love and the scary thought of am i settling? do i really love this person or is it just because i've been with them so long and i know them so well? do i really work with them?' it's so tough and frustrating. but i'm not just gonna settle. it gets lonely. and it interferes with my happiness. sure i don't need a guy to necessarily make me happy, but i trick myself into thinking i'm sad when one isn't around. i just want to feel something when i'm held, i want to feel that i'm cared for and i want to care the same way he should. see maybe i just think too much for my own good. i'm out to enjoy life and to have someone to enjoy it with, but i think wasting years or months of my life on someone who isn't good for me is stupid. i just don't think that's necessary. i get very passionate about the things that i love, and if i don't feel it, it's like it's not even worth it. i know that sounds confusing and it even confuses me a little. but i need someone that knows what he wants and understands me. blah blah. no one should let me stay up this late and think. don't mind me, i'm happy. i'm on top of the world! that's just like a couple minutes of erika's mind written down.
summer has been good. it's going by too fast for one. but the memories are being made and this is a summer i will surely look by on and be sad that it passed. college is next year, meaning this is the last summer in high school. it's a scary but relieving thought. it's bittersweet. i really can't stand the thought of leaving friends behind. we all promise we will stay in touch and maybe we will. i know we will all meet so many new people that could become our best friends, husbands, and people that will stay with us all our lives. but the friends i have now, they are so perfect in my eyes, they are so compatable with me and gotten me through so many tough times, that they will leave their mark on me forever. they are truly irreplaceable and i hope they know that. i will forever remember the friends that i have right now. a lot of people are going to lsu, and even there it will be hard to stay in touch. but for those people that are going off out of state or farther away, it's going to be really hard for me to cope with that loss. we are now to that age of having deep life discussions, in between the drinking and being stupid of course hah, but it's amazing seeing how we're all growing up into these adults, yet we still have that little kid innocence left. it's the perfect time and i won't let it slip away. i'm not saying i'm scared of change or the future, quite the opposite. i'm ready to live and see where my life is headed, but i'd like some trusty companions along the way. a rather larger part of my life i've been concerned with lately is the love life. i've had my heart broken a few times, and i've broken my share in the never-ending hunt for... him. i want someone who is compatable with me, who appreciates me and i appreciate them just the same. it's not very complicated but then again it is at the same time. i know what i'm looking for but i'm just stuck on where to look. i'm not looking for mr. perfect at my age, but i'm just looking for someone who would work with me, who would click with me. it's so weird to think about feelings and love and the scary thought of am i settling? do i really love this person or is it just because i've been with them so long and i know them so well? do i really work with them?' it's so tough and frustrating. but i'm not just gonna settle. it gets lonely. and it interferes with my happiness. sure i don't need a guy to necessarily make me happy, but i trick myself into thinking i'm sad when one isn't around. i just want to feel something when i'm held, i want to feel that i'm cared for and i want to care the same way he should. see maybe i just think too much for my own good. i'm out to enjoy life and to have someone to enjoy it with, but i think wasting years or months of my life on someone who isn't good for me is stupid. i just don't think that's necessary. i get very passionate about the things that i love, and if i don't feel it, it's like it's not even worth it. i know that sounds confusing and it even confuses me a little. but i need someone that knows what he wants and understands me. blah blah. no one should let me stay up this late and think. don't mind me, i'm happy. i'm on top of the world! that's just like a couple minutes of erika's mind written down.