Twinges, the TWINGES! It gets spunkier towards the end.
Oh, twinge, my twinge.
I asked God today, I said, "Gawd", I said. I said, "Do these little twinges of hurt ever go away?" I said.
Meaning, of, course, when I lifted Clara over the child-proof gate of her preschool classroom and watched her run off to play. Of course I'm so happy she goes with no tears and without a glance back (maybe she does later) but it's a feeling so, so, well, just so damn twingey! So much like when my own Mother had to leave me at school, almost. I know when Clara runs off to Kindergarten the first time, I'll feel it. I'm sure I will when she slams the door in my face and says "I HATE you! Mom, go AWAY!" it will be there. I know damn good and well the day she walks to get her diploma and walks to get her degree (if she so chooses, that is) and even walks to change her name forever it will jump my ass full force. I'll see that little curly red head running off to play, Baby Buhdie in one hand, the other curled in a soft, squishy fist to support the pace of her toddle. And it's gonna twinge, ain't it?
A quote... "How do I tell her, though the wounds from childbirth will eventually heal, Motherhood will leave a wound so open and raw, we, as MOTHERS, will be forever vulnerable..."
Well said, Anonymous, well said. Couldn't have said it better myself. Actually I could, and even added a teensy bit there.
BUT THEN! I realized those kids I teach were again watching me act an ass, with my welled-up eyes (it only took a nano-second for all this to fly through my brain) and I said, I said, "Gawd," I said. I said, "Thank you. I don't know what I ever did to deserve this, but Thank You from the bottom of my heart." I said. And He heard me, as He tends to do.
And He said...
Nawww, I'm just messin' wit' cha!!!! But if you had to sit through all those "saids" again, what would you have done?
Ok, that off my chest, HEY, ANG, SOMETHIN' ON YA MIND?!?
Eew-Kay. I have to brave the cabinets. To see what ole Buttercup left me. Good gorsh, I hope that thing had just snuck in the house minutes before his untimely (yeah, I'm still torn) demise. I'm checking the pasta fist, as the flour is usually in the fridge but currently is at school. You see, I attempted Papier Mache. Note: attempted. I don't think mould was supposed to be a part of the project, but it was.
As far as that goes, I like spelling mould with a "u". Or should I say, an "u". Hmmm. Spelling words, like mould and colour, with "u's" are fun, as one doesn't get to do it often. I also like using words one doesn't get to use much. Such as "consumption"..."He died from the CONSUMPTION." Or "rubble"..."Dannng, look at all the RUBBLE still in the street!" Or even rarer..."He died from the CONSUMPTION of RUBBLE."
That was a quote from a conversation I had on January 6, 2006, In the Year of Our Lord. Or, one could say, "2006 AD", or even (if you're Jamie) "2006 Anno Domini". Which means, In the Year of Our Lord, funnily enough. But who says "Anno Domini" anyway unless they've been on Jeopardy, which Jamie has, so I think he's earned such a right.
I'm stalling. Can you tell?? Really???? Shit.
Or as one could say...
OK! I'm GOING!!!!
I asked God today, I said, "Gawd", I said. I said, "Do these little twinges of hurt ever go away?" I said.
Meaning, of, course, when I lifted Clara over the child-proof gate of her preschool classroom and watched her run off to play. Of course I'm so happy she goes with no tears and without a glance back (maybe she does later) but it's a feeling so, so, well, just so damn twingey! So much like when my own Mother had to leave me at school, almost. I know when Clara runs off to Kindergarten the first time, I'll feel it. I'm sure I will when she slams the door in my face and says "I HATE you! Mom, go AWAY!" it will be there. I know damn good and well the day she walks to get her diploma and walks to get her degree (if she so chooses, that is) and even walks to change her name forever it will jump my ass full force. I'll see that little curly red head running off to play, Baby Buhdie in one hand, the other curled in a soft, squishy fist to support the pace of her toddle. And it's gonna twinge, ain't it?
A quote... "How do I tell her, though the wounds from childbirth will eventually heal, Motherhood will leave a wound so open and raw, we, as MOTHERS, will be forever vulnerable..."
Well said, Anonymous, well said. Couldn't have said it better myself. Actually I could, and even added a teensy bit there.
BUT THEN! I realized those kids I teach were again watching me act an ass, with my welled-up eyes (it only took a nano-second for all this to fly through my brain) and I said, I said, "Gawd," I said. I said, "Thank you. I don't know what I ever did to deserve this, but Thank You from the bottom of my heart." I said. And He heard me, as He tends to do.
And He said...
Nawww, I'm just messin' wit' cha!!!! But if you had to sit through all those "saids" again, what would you have done?
Ok, that off my chest, HEY, ANG, SOMETHIN' ON YA MIND?!?
Eew-Kay. I have to brave the cabinets. To see what ole Buttercup left me. Good gorsh, I hope that thing had just snuck in the house minutes before his untimely (yeah, I'm still torn) demise. I'm checking the pasta fist, as the flour is usually in the fridge but currently is at school. You see, I attempted Papier Mache. Note: attempted. I don't think mould was supposed to be a part of the project, but it was.
As far as that goes, I like spelling mould with a "u". Or should I say, an "u". Hmmm. Spelling words, like mould and colour, with "u's" are fun, as one doesn't get to do it often. I also like using words one doesn't get to use much. Such as "consumption"..."He died from the CONSUMPTION." Or "rubble"..."Dannng, look at all the RUBBLE still in the street!" Or even rarer..."He died from the CONSUMPTION of RUBBLE."
That was a quote from a conversation I had on January 6, 2006, In the Year of Our Lord. Or, one could say, "2006 AD", or even (if you're Jamie) "2006 Anno Domini". Which means, In the Year of Our Lord, funnily enough. But who says "Anno Domini" anyway unless they've been on Jeopardy, which Jamie has, so I think he's earned such a right.
I'm stalling. Can you tell?? Really???? Shit.
Or as one could say...
OK! I'm GOING!!!!