Think good thoughts?
Guess how much I've studied in the past 2 weeks. Go on, guess. 0 hours. One open-notes test tomorrow. One final on Thursday. I was looking at my classes from last semester and this semester a couple hours ago. No wonder I'm less stressed. 3/5 of my classes this semester were sociology courses. Sociology--as in common sense (as long as you don't think the world revolves around you). The other two were gen ed. I don't have as much last minute grade-salvaging as I usually do. I was so proud of myself until then. You know, for studying before each test, for keeping up with the readings, for going to classes, for doing my homework. But I guess good grades don't mean much when you don't even need to work hard for them.
I think one of the many, many, many problems with me is that I always feel the need to prove myself. I want to show my family I'm not as stupid, lazy, and irresponsible as they think I am. Nothing I've ever done has accomplished that so far, so I don't know why I bother trying. I'm never going to be as smart as my brother because I can't be. I'm never going to amount to anything because I don't try. I'm never going to succeed at anything because I don't care. It's weird because I never used to believe those things, but now I do. It's like what I was telling Craig about how girls typically aren't encouraged to be athletes or musicians blah blah. If there isn't a support system there when you're young to encourage you to make something of yourself, what hope do you have? I guess there's no hope for me.
Good. This CD is finally growing on me.
I think one of the many, many, many problems with me is that I always feel the need to prove myself. I want to show my family I'm not as stupid, lazy, and irresponsible as they think I am. Nothing I've ever done has accomplished that so far, so I don't know why I bother trying. I'm never going to be as smart as my brother because I can't be. I'm never going to amount to anything because I don't try. I'm never going to succeed at anything because I don't care. It's weird because I never used to believe those things, but now I do. It's like what I was telling Craig about how girls typically aren't encouraged to be athletes or musicians blah blah. If there isn't a support system there when you're young to encourage you to make something of yourself, what hope do you have? I guess there's no hope for me.
Good. This CD is finally growing on me.