(no subject)
Well I hope the card I sent heather makes it to her in the wales. ::crosses fingers:: Yet again, I'm so very tired today. I keep not being able to get to bed until 1-2am every night, and getting up at 7am. Its starting to get me really tired during the day. I keep pushing myself to workout with eather running, skating, or weights everyday to also kind of wear me out so that I will get to sleep sooner. Last night I was SO proud of myself, I ran 2 mile's strait. Being as i haven't done that since High School, and even then it was a VERY rare thing that I ran. My legs are a little tight today, but not bad at all. I think with the skating the last week or so now, it has gotten my legs stronger. I think today I'll go skating again after work instead of running. Being as I havn't worked out much at all in the last 3 years for very long, my back and all the supporting muscles around my spine are very weak. With out those muscles being strong my back will hurt like hell from all the jaring when I run. Last night I did have to take a pain pill when i got done with the run. Because i just could feel it was going to be hurting latter that night or today if i didn't do something fast.
I'm still so confused about everything in life right now as i have been.. O since birth! Finding a direction is what I really need to do. I have nothing filling up my time right now, other than that dam game. Its one of the reasons I have started skating again and running. I'm still hoping that will get the bug back and want to skate all the time. I just fear that it will be like everthing i have done in my life. Once i have taken something to the almost top lvl it can be at the time. I just stop doing it because i feel like i can just cross something else off the list of things i have done, and done very well at it.
Maybe i need to find a new sport or something active that i will get wrapped up in and try to take it to the top level i can reach with it? Who da hellz knows. I sure as hell don't. My obsessive mentality tends to do this all the time. Something spark in me about some new thing i'm doing and all i can think about doing is this one thing until i have dam good at it. The scary part is how i will now give up, even through getting as banged up as i have at times trying to get it down and learn how to do it. ::shrug::
O well this is all for now. To many other things on my mind at this point thats stressing me that i just don't know how to put into words..
I'm still so confused about everything in life right now as i have been.. O since birth! Finding a direction is what I really need to do. I have nothing filling up my time right now, other than that dam game. Its one of the reasons I have started skating again and running. I'm still hoping that will get the bug back and want to skate all the time. I just fear that it will be like everthing i have done in my life. Once i have taken something to the almost top lvl it can be at the time. I just stop doing it because i feel like i can just cross something else off the list of things i have done, and done very well at it.
Maybe i need to find a new sport or something active that i will get wrapped up in and try to take it to the top level i can reach with it? Who da hellz knows. I sure as hell don't. My obsessive mentality tends to do this all the time. Something spark in me about some new thing i'm doing and all i can think about doing is this one thing until i have dam good at it. The scary part is how i will now give up, even through getting as banged up as i have at times trying to get it down and learn how to do it. ::shrug::
O well this is all for now. To many other things on my mind at this point thats stressing me that i just don't know how to put into words..