(no subject)
well today is georgeous. blue skies and no clouds but somehow walking around knowing what's coming at you put a damper on the day. ive been living life ina daze since friday and i havent had a good night's sleep. but now that i really know that it's finally happened it's even worse. i feel claustrophobic everywhere. i woke up feeling like crap but when i read his away message i put a vice on my heart and just started squeezing. it didnt matter that i didnt want to go to class i just had to get out of the room and away from trillian. and all through english i couldnt pay attention i just sat there trying not to day dream or sleep awake watev. all i know is that my the end i couldnt breathe and you can be damn sure i was the first one out of the room. and i was even on the other side of the room. i dont care if i did the right thing but im paying for the pain ive cause right now forcing my self to write about it. and it doesnt matter how beautiful today is or how it mocks the storm inside because he's feeling it worse than i am and im the one who did that.