Missy Wilkinson PI: the Early Year - the 11th chapter
Eleven is the day after…
Patrick came running into the room. The door had been mysteriously unlocked, and there were champagne bottles scattered around the room. He stumbled over one bottle, and then spotted Gary in the bed. Missy was standing on a chair waving her arms.
“What is it?” Patrick asked. “A mouse?”
“No, it wasn’t a mouse,” Missy shouted, pointing at Gary.
“A squirrel? I know how you freak out when squirrels try to steal nuts from your bowl, but…”
“Not a squirrel, either!” Missy shouted, pointing at Gary.
“Is it your birthday? Possibly a Happy Birthday?” Patrick asked.
A strobe light started, a disco ball lowered from the ceiling, and go-go dancers leapt out from every corner of the room.
“Happy… Happy Birthday in a hot bath, to those nice nice nights! I remember always, always… I got such a fright! Seeing them in my dark cupboard, with my great big cake!”
“If they were me!” Mary ran in, still getting dressed. “If they were me! And I was you! And I was you! If they were me! If they were me! And I was you1 And I was you!”
“If they were me and I was you, would you like a present too?” Patrick called out.
“Happy, Happy Birthday in a hot bath…”
“W-T-F?” Missy yelled, cutting Mary off.
“It was my turn to do the verse,” Mary argued.
Missy leapt off the chair and walked around, shoving the go-go dancers out of the room, tearing down the strobe lights and disco ball. Missy was grumbling the entire way.
“I wake up wearing a ring and sleeping next to my stalker and the two of you bring in go-go dancers,” she grumbled. She shoved the last go-go dancer into a closet and spun around five times, stopping facing Patrick and Mary. “What have I told you about trying to restart the musical chapter?”
Patrick and Mary both looked to the ground.
“He started it,” Mary muttered. “I just didn’t want to miss it.”
“Go-go dancers? Patrick, really?” Missy asked.
Patrick did not look up. “I thought it was funny.”
“It wasn’t,” Missy snapped. “Now march out of the room now and come back in when I scream.”
Patrick and Mary both turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind them. Missy kicked at a go-go dancer’s boot and walked back over to the chair. She continued to grumble as she climbed back up on the chair. Then she began to scream again.
Patrick and Mary rushed into the room, looking around frantically, and then spotted Missy.
“Missy, what is it?” Mary asked.
She continued to scream, and pointed at Gary.
Mary looked at Gary, who was still in the bed.
“Oh no,” Mary called out. “Did the killer get Gary, too?”
Missy sighed. “He’s in MY BED!” she shouted.
“Well, yeah,” Patrick replied. “I read the end of the last chapter. You’re wearing his ring. Where did you expect him to be?”
Mary squealed and ran over to where Missy was standing on the chair. “Oh, let me see the ring.”
Missy held out her hand, and Mary squealed again.
Gary rolled over, yawned and stretched. “What’s up, Doc?” he asked.
“Explain THIS!” Missy held out her hand.
Gary reached over and pulled out a jeweler’s loupe.
“A what?” Mary asked.
A jeweler’s loupe…
“What’s a jeweler’s loupe?” Mary asked, then turned to Missy. “What’s a jeweler’s loupe?”
“It’s this,” Gary held up a small magnifying device. “It’s used to inspect diamonds.”
“OH!” Mary replied. “Why couldn’t the narrator just call it a magnifying device? Why did he have to call it a loupe?”
“Because that’s what it is,” Missy replied. “It’s not important, though.” She held out her hand.
Gary examined the ring with his jeweler’s lou… er… magnifying device.
“It’s real,” he said. “It’s a full carat, too.” He paused. “Wait…” He looked at the gold band he was wearing. “This matches…” Gary leaned back. “Did we get married?”
Missy stepped down from the chair. “That’s what I want to know from you.”
“I don’t remember getting married,” Gary replied.
“Oh, look!” Mary held up a photo album. “Apparently, I was your bridesmaid!” She opened the album to show the pictures. “And Davinci was the best man!” Doesn’t he look so cute in the French beret and his tiny tuxedo?”
“Davinci was the best man?” Patrick asked. “Where was I?”
“Edward was there, too!” Mary called out.
She held up a picture of a back wall. Everything was torn from it and a pair of legs was sticking up from among the mess.
“What about me?” Patrick asked.
Mary was still flipping through the album. Missy and Gary seemed to be in shock. She opened another page to show Wendy drinking some champagne.
“What about me?” Patrick asked.
“Gary and I are married, Patrick. I think this is a more pressing matter.”
Wendy ran into the room. “I so want to be part of this, but I have to pee.” She ran into the bathroom.
“I think it was rude of you to marry and not invite me.” Patrick stuck his hand into his pockets. “Wait… What’s this?” He pulled out a large wad of money. “I must have been gambling…” He quickly counted the hundred dollar bills. “There’s over a million dollars right here in my hand… And my other pocket is full, too! My coat! I was wearing a coat last night.”
Missy walked over and slapped him. “Stop being hysterical!” she shouted. “Gary and I are married!”
Patrick slapped her back. “What did you expect? He’s been stalking you the entire story.”
Missy slapped him. “Married! Patrick! MARRIED!”
Patrick slapped her. “Still a stalker.”
“I’m not stalking her!” Gary shouted.
Missy slapped Patrick again, and then looked at Gary, holding up her hand to show off the ring.
“Okay, I don’t have a good explanation for that other than I was stalking you, but still…”
Mary was giggling and looking at the photo album. “Patrick, I found a picture of you.”
He rushed over to her and looked at the album. “There was a wheelbarrow of money!” Patrick called out. “It looks like they were all hundreds. Is this all I have left?”
Wendy walked out of the bathroom. “Hey, why is the bathtub full of money with this note?”
Missy walked over and took the note. “It’s from you, Patrick. It’s a congratulations on getting married… You gave us money!”
“Oh, darn,” he muttered. “Well, I suppose a couple of million is better than nothing.”
Wendy looked at the ring. “You do realize that half of the money is Gary’s now.”
Gary smiled and leapt out of the bed. All of them turned away.
“Put on some clothes, Gary,” Missy told him. “If you’re going to be my husband, you’re going to have to start acting like it.”
He grabbed the blanket from the bed and walked into the bathroom. “I’m going to go lay in the tub for a minute.”
“We don’t have time,” Missy told him. “We need to get to the pool where Cindy was murdered, and then to where she was found.”
“I’ll just take a quick shower,” Gary said.
“Use the shower in Patrick’s room,” Missy told him. “I don’t want to have to clean all the bills.”
Gary shrugged and walked out into the hall.
“He’s YOUR stalker-husband. Why do I have to let him shower in my room. I wasn’t even his best man.”
Mary screamed.
They all looked at her.
“Bruce was at the wedding, too. I danced with him!” She held up the album to show the picture.
Patrick leaned in close to Missy and whispered, “Are you okay with all of this being married to Gary stuff?”
“No,” Missy yelled. “I’m married to Gary Bowery! I’ll have to change my name to Missy Bowery. That’s not a good PI name! That’s not even a good ditch-digging name!”
“Oh, look,” Mary said, holding up the album to show some documents. “According to this, you didn’t take his last name. You kept Wilkinson.”
“Well, then that’s much better. At least I didn’t hyphenate it. That would be almost embarrassing.”
“Don’t we need to get ready to head out?” Patrick asked.
Missy grabbed the collar of his shirt. “I am married to Gary,” she said forcefully.
“I kind of got that from the first three pages of this chapter,” he replied, not wanting to upset her as she tightened her grip on his collar, and slowly strangled him.
She released him. “I cannot allow this to affect me while we solve this case,” she said. “I will just have to deal with it at the end of the story.”
“Hey, look!” Mary said, holding up the photo album. “You went to one of those places that combines your pictures to see what your kids would look like. They’re really cute.”
Missy’s eyes were wide with terror.
Patrick took her by the arm. “You need to go get ready. We’ll get back into this case and you can forget about this whole marriage thing for now.”
“You’re right, of course,” Missy said. “I need to just throw myself into my work.”
“Here, let me.”
Patrick shoved her into a pile of files and pictures. The pile broke her fall, and she giggled as she made file angles in the pile.
“There’s the Missy I know,” he said. “You get ready, and we’ll all meet in the lobby.”
Gary walked in, freshly showered and dressed. “Honey, I’m home!” he called out.
Missy screamed.
It took them another half hour to convince Missy not to throw Gary off the balcony. They had to allow her to drag him to the second floor and throw him out a second floor window, but he landed unharmed. Within an hour after that, they were at the pool where the police believed the murder happened.
Missy walked around the pool, examining every inch of it. Occasionally, she walked over and smacked Gary on the back of the head. Finally, she paused and looked up.
“What is missing?” she asked.
Bruce, who had been staring at Mary, said, “The love?”
“No,” Missy replied, shaking her head. “There’s no long net thing. Every pool has one of those long net things. This pool is missing it.”
“Well, the murder did happen a few weeks ago,” Bruce reminded her. “I doubt the missing net thing is important.”
“Actually,” Joelle spoke up. “I’m the pool cleaner, and the net thing did vanish around the same time as the murder.”
“Thanks for pushing the plot along, Joelle,” Missy said.
“Welcome, and congratulations on the wedding.”
“How do YOU know about it?”
“She was there.” Mary held up the album. The priest had a fake mustache and a white collar, but it was Joelle.
“Joelle… How could you do that to me?” Missy asked her.
“Hey, I get paid no matter what happens,” Joelle replied, shrugging.
Missy sighed. “So the net thing is missing. I think it somehow is involved in this.”
“I think you’re right,” Patrick called out.
“Of course I am right,” Missy replied. “The story is named after me. I can’t be wrong.”
“Look what I found.” Patrick held up netting and a rope. Both of them were red.
“Red rope and netting,” Missy commented. “That must be used to fix the net thing. That red rope is the same kind used in the strangling.”
“So the rope wasn’t a red herring after all?” Bruce asked.
“No, it was rope,” Missy replied matter-of-factly. “What is it with you and this making rope out of fish, Bruce?” She turned away from him. “So the net is part of all of this. We need to get to where Cindy’s body was found.”
They rushed out to the rental car, only to discover that it had been flattened by a piano.
“Curse you, piano launchers!” Missy shouted.
“Hey, she’s gone a few chapters without cursing,” Patrick commented.
“She is trying to cut back,” Mary explained.
“She’s doing good. Is it a twelve step program?”
“No, only one.”
“Only one?”
“Yeah, stop cursing,” Mary replied.
Wendy started to scream.
“What is it?” Missy asked.
There was a dollar bill sitting on the ground. Wendy was terrified of it.
“It must be hard to recover from being stalked by money,” Patrick said.
“We don’t have time for this!” Missy shouted. “We need to get to the next crime scene, and then we need to get back home.”
“Why are you suddenly in such a rush?” Mary asked.
“I… am… married… to… Gary!” Missy replied.
“Oh, right. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?” Mary asked.
“Not when it involves marriage,” Patrick replied. “Normally, that’s permanent anywhere in the United States.”
Missy growled. Yes, she actually growled. This caused Patrick and Mary to stop discussing the entire thing. Mary called over a taxi and they all piled into the taxi. It was very cramped, and I am sure that Davinci the dog pooted at one point. The ride to the next crime scene was almost unbearable to all of them. As the taxi reached the scene, and they rolled out of the taxi, a black bear crawled away.
“As if any of that would be bearable,” the bear called out.
Patrick turned to the readers and asked you, “Do you believe this story?”
As they walked up to the building, Wendy knelt down.
“What did you find?” Missy asked her.
“It looks like a doll of some sort. It could be one of those Barb…”
“Uh! No!” Patrick stopped her. “We cannot say that trademarked name.”
“Let’s call it a Marbie doll,” Missy suggested.
“Oh, yes, let’s call it a Marbie doll,” Mary added.
“That sounds fantastic,” Wendy said. “It’s perfect.”
Gary rolled his eyes. “So what does this have to do with the murder?”
Wendy pulled the cord in the Marbie doll, and the doll said, “Math is hard for girls.”
“Well, that’s not very PC,” Missy commented. “I was very good in math.”
Wendy pulled the cord again, and the doll said, “I want to go for a ride in a convertible topless.”
“Uh… I think it meant with the top down,” Patrick said.
Wendy pulled the cord again, and it said, “I sure hope Ken asks me to the prom. I have a dress all picked out.”
“That wasn’t so bad,” Mary remarked.
Wendy pulled the cord one last time and the doll said, “Bondage is fun on Thursdays.”
Missy grabbed the doll and threw it to the ground. “I think we should all agree never to touch that doll again.”
The doll whirred, and said, “I love to vibrate.”
Missy stomped on the doll.
It said, “I like that kind of abuse.”
Mary picked up the doll and threw it as far as she could.
As it flew through the air, it called out, “Oh, this feels like the high I get off sniffing glue!”
Patrick opened his mouth, but Missy held up her hand. “We never speak of Marbie again.”
“Agreed,” they all said, nodding.
As they walked into the room where Cindy’s body was found, they were met by Agent SM. She was still wearing a trench coat.
“About time you show up here,” she called out.
“Agent SM,” Patrick said, “what are you doing here?”
“Why do you ask?” Agent SM asked him. “Shouldn’t I be here? Why shouldn’t I be here? Could it be that you don’t think I should be here because of my eye?” She pointed at her eye with her fingerless hands.
“I didn’t mean anything like that,” Patrick replied.
“So you don’t think my eye is a problem?”
“I didn’t say anything about your eye.”
“If you ask me about my eye, I will be forced to kill you!”
“Is it that time of the month for sock monkeys?” Patrick asked.
“Is that a crack about my eye?” Agent SM asked.
“Agent SM,” Gary called out. “We’re here to look around and get the feel for the crime scene.”
She looked at Gary, and then spun suddenly to glare at Patrick with her one eye.
“What was that, Narrator? Did you just say something about my eye?”
I plead the fifth.
“That’s it for you then!” Agent SM started to walk off in search of the Narrator. Luckily, Gary stopped her.
“Do you have some information for us, Agent SM?” Gary asked.
She calmed down. “Yes, actually. I wanted to give you this.”
She handed him an envelope. Gary was about to open it, but Agent SM had vanished.
“Whew,” Mary said, whipping sweat from her forehead. “I was about to ask her about…”
Agent SM leapt out from behind a bush. “Were you about to ask me about my eye? If you ask me about my eye, I will be forced to kill you!”
Mary screamed and fainted. Agent SM motioned to everyone that she was watching them, and then she left again.
“What’s in the envelope?” Missy asked Gary.
Gary looked inside. “It just says that we have found all the clues in Las Vegas that we are going to, and we should proceed home again.”
“About time,” Missy replied. “Let’s get to the airport and away from this place.”
Patrick came running into the room. The door had been mysteriously unlocked, and there were champagne bottles scattered around the room. He stumbled over one bottle, and then spotted Gary in the bed. Missy was standing on a chair waving her arms.
“What is it?” Patrick asked. “A mouse?”
“No, it wasn’t a mouse,” Missy shouted, pointing at Gary.
“A squirrel? I know how you freak out when squirrels try to steal nuts from your bowl, but…”
“Not a squirrel, either!” Missy shouted, pointing at Gary.
“Is it your birthday? Possibly a Happy Birthday?” Patrick asked.
A strobe light started, a disco ball lowered from the ceiling, and go-go dancers leapt out from every corner of the room.
“Happy… Happy Birthday in a hot bath, to those nice nice nights! I remember always, always… I got such a fright! Seeing them in my dark cupboard, with my great big cake!”
“If they were me!” Mary ran in, still getting dressed. “If they were me! And I was you! And I was you! If they were me! If they were me! And I was you1 And I was you!”
“If they were me and I was you, would you like a present too?” Patrick called out.
“Happy, Happy Birthday in a hot bath…”
“W-T-F?” Missy yelled, cutting Mary off.
“It was my turn to do the verse,” Mary argued.
Missy leapt off the chair and walked around, shoving the go-go dancers out of the room, tearing down the strobe lights and disco ball. Missy was grumbling the entire way.
“I wake up wearing a ring and sleeping next to my stalker and the two of you bring in go-go dancers,” she grumbled. She shoved the last go-go dancer into a closet and spun around five times, stopping facing Patrick and Mary. “What have I told you about trying to restart the musical chapter?”
Patrick and Mary both looked to the ground.
“He started it,” Mary muttered. “I just didn’t want to miss it.”
“Go-go dancers? Patrick, really?” Missy asked.
Patrick did not look up. “I thought it was funny.”
“It wasn’t,” Missy snapped. “Now march out of the room now and come back in when I scream.”
Patrick and Mary both turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind them. Missy kicked at a go-go dancer’s boot and walked back over to the chair. She continued to grumble as she climbed back up on the chair. Then she began to scream again.
Patrick and Mary rushed into the room, looking around frantically, and then spotted Missy.
“Missy, what is it?” Mary asked.
She continued to scream, and pointed at Gary.
Mary looked at Gary, who was still in the bed.
“Oh no,” Mary called out. “Did the killer get Gary, too?”
Missy sighed. “He’s in MY BED!” she shouted.
“Well, yeah,” Patrick replied. “I read the end of the last chapter. You’re wearing his ring. Where did you expect him to be?”
Mary squealed and ran over to where Missy was standing on the chair. “Oh, let me see the ring.”
Missy held out her hand, and Mary squealed again.
Gary rolled over, yawned and stretched. “What’s up, Doc?” he asked.
“Explain THIS!” Missy held out her hand.
Gary reached over and pulled out a jeweler’s loupe.
“A what?” Mary asked.
A jeweler’s loupe…
“What’s a jeweler’s loupe?” Mary asked, then turned to Missy. “What’s a jeweler’s loupe?”
“It’s this,” Gary held up a small magnifying device. “It’s used to inspect diamonds.”
“OH!” Mary replied. “Why couldn’t the narrator just call it a magnifying device? Why did he have to call it a loupe?”
“Because that’s what it is,” Missy replied. “It’s not important, though.” She held out her hand.
Gary examined the ring with his jeweler’s lou… er… magnifying device.
“It’s real,” he said. “It’s a full carat, too.” He paused. “Wait…” He looked at the gold band he was wearing. “This matches…” Gary leaned back. “Did we get married?”
Missy stepped down from the chair. “That’s what I want to know from you.”
“I don’t remember getting married,” Gary replied.
“Oh, look!” Mary held up a photo album. “Apparently, I was your bridesmaid!” She opened the album to show the pictures. “And Davinci was the best man!” Doesn’t he look so cute in the French beret and his tiny tuxedo?”
“Davinci was the best man?” Patrick asked. “Where was I?”
“Edward was there, too!” Mary called out.
She held up a picture of a back wall. Everything was torn from it and a pair of legs was sticking up from among the mess.
“What about me?” Patrick asked.
Mary was still flipping through the album. Missy and Gary seemed to be in shock. She opened another page to show Wendy drinking some champagne.
“What about me?” Patrick asked.
“Gary and I are married, Patrick. I think this is a more pressing matter.”
Wendy ran into the room. “I so want to be part of this, but I have to pee.” She ran into the bathroom.
“I think it was rude of you to marry and not invite me.” Patrick stuck his hand into his pockets. “Wait… What’s this?” He pulled out a large wad of money. “I must have been gambling…” He quickly counted the hundred dollar bills. “There’s over a million dollars right here in my hand… And my other pocket is full, too! My coat! I was wearing a coat last night.”
Missy walked over and slapped him. “Stop being hysterical!” she shouted. “Gary and I are married!”
Patrick slapped her back. “What did you expect? He’s been stalking you the entire story.”
Missy slapped him. “Married! Patrick! MARRIED!”
Patrick slapped her. “Still a stalker.”
“I’m not stalking her!” Gary shouted.
Missy slapped Patrick again, and then looked at Gary, holding up her hand to show off the ring.
“Okay, I don’t have a good explanation for that other than I was stalking you, but still…”
Mary was giggling and looking at the photo album. “Patrick, I found a picture of you.”
He rushed over to her and looked at the album. “There was a wheelbarrow of money!” Patrick called out. “It looks like they were all hundreds. Is this all I have left?”
Wendy walked out of the bathroom. “Hey, why is the bathtub full of money with this note?”
Missy walked over and took the note. “It’s from you, Patrick. It’s a congratulations on getting married… You gave us money!”
“Oh, darn,” he muttered. “Well, I suppose a couple of million is better than nothing.”
Wendy looked at the ring. “You do realize that half of the money is Gary’s now.”
Gary smiled and leapt out of the bed. All of them turned away.
“Put on some clothes, Gary,” Missy told him. “If you’re going to be my husband, you’re going to have to start acting like it.”
He grabbed the blanket from the bed and walked into the bathroom. “I’m going to go lay in the tub for a minute.”
“We don’t have time,” Missy told him. “We need to get to the pool where Cindy was murdered, and then to where she was found.”
“I’ll just take a quick shower,” Gary said.
“Use the shower in Patrick’s room,” Missy told him. “I don’t want to have to clean all the bills.”
Gary shrugged and walked out into the hall.
“He’s YOUR stalker-husband. Why do I have to let him shower in my room. I wasn’t even his best man.”
Mary screamed.
They all looked at her.
“Bruce was at the wedding, too. I danced with him!” She held up the album to show the picture.
Patrick leaned in close to Missy and whispered, “Are you okay with all of this being married to Gary stuff?”
“No,” Missy yelled. “I’m married to Gary Bowery! I’ll have to change my name to Missy Bowery. That’s not a good PI name! That’s not even a good ditch-digging name!”
“Oh, look,” Mary said, holding up the album to show some documents. “According to this, you didn’t take his last name. You kept Wilkinson.”
“Well, then that’s much better. At least I didn’t hyphenate it. That would be almost embarrassing.”
“Don’t we need to get ready to head out?” Patrick asked.
Missy grabbed the collar of his shirt. “I am married to Gary,” she said forcefully.
“I kind of got that from the first three pages of this chapter,” he replied, not wanting to upset her as she tightened her grip on his collar, and slowly strangled him.
She released him. “I cannot allow this to affect me while we solve this case,” she said. “I will just have to deal with it at the end of the story.”
“Hey, look!” Mary said, holding up the photo album. “You went to one of those places that combines your pictures to see what your kids would look like. They’re really cute.”
Missy’s eyes were wide with terror.
Patrick took her by the arm. “You need to go get ready. We’ll get back into this case and you can forget about this whole marriage thing for now.”
“You’re right, of course,” Missy said. “I need to just throw myself into my work.”
“Here, let me.”
Patrick shoved her into a pile of files and pictures. The pile broke her fall, and she giggled as she made file angles in the pile.
“There’s the Missy I know,” he said. “You get ready, and we’ll all meet in the lobby.”
Gary walked in, freshly showered and dressed. “Honey, I’m home!” he called out.
Missy screamed.
It took them another half hour to convince Missy not to throw Gary off the balcony. They had to allow her to drag him to the second floor and throw him out a second floor window, but he landed unharmed. Within an hour after that, they were at the pool where the police believed the murder happened.
Missy walked around the pool, examining every inch of it. Occasionally, she walked over and smacked Gary on the back of the head. Finally, she paused and looked up.
“What is missing?” she asked.
Bruce, who had been staring at Mary, said, “The love?”
“No,” Missy replied, shaking her head. “There’s no long net thing. Every pool has one of those long net things. This pool is missing it.”
“Well, the murder did happen a few weeks ago,” Bruce reminded her. “I doubt the missing net thing is important.”
“Actually,” Joelle spoke up. “I’m the pool cleaner, and the net thing did vanish around the same time as the murder.”
“Thanks for pushing the plot along, Joelle,” Missy said.
“Welcome, and congratulations on the wedding.”
“How do YOU know about it?”
“She was there.” Mary held up the album. The priest had a fake mustache and a white collar, but it was Joelle.
“Joelle… How could you do that to me?” Missy asked her.
“Hey, I get paid no matter what happens,” Joelle replied, shrugging.
Missy sighed. “So the net thing is missing. I think it somehow is involved in this.”
“I think you’re right,” Patrick called out.
“Of course I am right,” Missy replied. “The story is named after me. I can’t be wrong.”
“Look what I found.” Patrick held up netting and a rope. Both of them were red.
“Red rope and netting,” Missy commented. “That must be used to fix the net thing. That red rope is the same kind used in the strangling.”
“So the rope wasn’t a red herring after all?” Bruce asked.
“No, it was rope,” Missy replied matter-of-factly. “What is it with you and this making rope out of fish, Bruce?” She turned away from him. “So the net is part of all of this. We need to get to where Cindy’s body was found.”
They rushed out to the rental car, only to discover that it had been flattened by a piano.
“Curse you, piano launchers!” Missy shouted.
“Hey, she’s gone a few chapters without cursing,” Patrick commented.
“She is trying to cut back,” Mary explained.
“She’s doing good. Is it a twelve step program?”
“No, only one.”
“Only one?”
“Yeah, stop cursing,” Mary replied.
Wendy started to scream.
“What is it?” Missy asked.
There was a dollar bill sitting on the ground. Wendy was terrified of it.
“It must be hard to recover from being stalked by money,” Patrick said.
“We don’t have time for this!” Missy shouted. “We need to get to the next crime scene, and then we need to get back home.”
“Why are you suddenly in such a rush?” Mary asked.
“I… am… married… to… Gary!” Missy replied.
“Oh, right. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?” Mary asked.
“Not when it involves marriage,” Patrick replied. “Normally, that’s permanent anywhere in the United States.”
Missy growled. Yes, she actually growled. This caused Patrick and Mary to stop discussing the entire thing. Mary called over a taxi and they all piled into the taxi. It was very cramped, and I am sure that Davinci the dog pooted at one point. The ride to the next crime scene was almost unbearable to all of them. As the taxi reached the scene, and they rolled out of the taxi, a black bear crawled away.
“As if any of that would be bearable,” the bear called out.
Patrick turned to the readers and asked you, “Do you believe this story?”
As they walked up to the building, Wendy knelt down.
“What did you find?” Missy asked her.
“It looks like a doll of some sort. It could be one of those Barb…”
“Uh! No!” Patrick stopped her. “We cannot say that trademarked name.”
“Let’s call it a Marbie doll,” Missy suggested.
“Oh, yes, let’s call it a Marbie doll,” Mary added.
“That sounds fantastic,” Wendy said. “It’s perfect.”
Gary rolled his eyes. “So what does this have to do with the murder?”
Wendy pulled the cord in the Marbie doll, and the doll said, “Math is hard for girls.”
“Well, that’s not very PC,” Missy commented. “I was very good in math.”
Wendy pulled the cord again, and the doll said, “I want to go for a ride in a convertible topless.”
“Uh… I think it meant with the top down,” Patrick said.
Wendy pulled the cord again, and it said, “I sure hope Ken asks me to the prom. I have a dress all picked out.”
“That wasn’t so bad,” Mary remarked.
Wendy pulled the cord one last time and the doll said, “Bondage is fun on Thursdays.”
Missy grabbed the doll and threw it to the ground. “I think we should all agree never to touch that doll again.”
The doll whirred, and said, “I love to vibrate.”
Missy stomped on the doll.
It said, “I like that kind of abuse.”
Mary picked up the doll and threw it as far as she could.
As it flew through the air, it called out, “Oh, this feels like the high I get off sniffing glue!”
Patrick opened his mouth, but Missy held up her hand. “We never speak of Marbie again.”
“Agreed,” they all said, nodding.
As they walked into the room where Cindy’s body was found, they were met by Agent SM. She was still wearing a trench coat.
“About time you show up here,” she called out.
“Agent SM,” Patrick said, “what are you doing here?”
“Why do you ask?” Agent SM asked him. “Shouldn’t I be here? Why shouldn’t I be here? Could it be that you don’t think I should be here because of my eye?” She pointed at her eye with her fingerless hands.
“I didn’t mean anything like that,” Patrick replied.
“So you don’t think my eye is a problem?”
“I didn’t say anything about your eye.”
“If you ask me about my eye, I will be forced to kill you!”
“Is it that time of the month for sock monkeys?” Patrick asked.
“Is that a crack about my eye?” Agent SM asked.
“Agent SM,” Gary called out. “We’re here to look around and get the feel for the crime scene.”
She looked at Gary, and then spun suddenly to glare at Patrick with her one eye.
“What was that, Narrator? Did you just say something about my eye?”
I plead the fifth.
“That’s it for you then!” Agent SM started to walk off in search of the Narrator. Luckily, Gary stopped her.
“Do you have some information for us, Agent SM?” Gary asked.
She calmed down. “Yes, actually. I wanted to give you this.”
She handed him an envelope. Gary was about to open it, but Agent SM had vanished.
“Whew,” Mary said, whipping sweat from her forehead. “I was about to ask her about…”
Agent SM leapt out from behind a bush. “Were you about to ask me about my eye? If you ask me about my eye, I will be forced to kill you!”
Mary screamed and fainted. Agent SM motioned to everyone that she was watching them, and then she left again.
“What’s in the envelope?” Missy asked Gary.
Gary looked inside. “It just says that we have found all the clues in Las Vegas that we are going to, and we should proceed home again.”
“About time,” Missy replied. “Let’s get to the airport and away from this place.”