Ugh.
Shitty news week continues to be shitty.
I couldn't meditate when I woke up this morning because I was thinking about my own unreported sexual assault, and I hate that my rapist's stuipd face kept popping up on my Facebook timeline last week because I'm still friends with people he knows.
I hate that the news is filled words like "witch hunt" and "lynch mob," words that describe the actual murders of women and people of color, in response to people suggesting that one particular asshole not be given a pretty important job.
I hate that so many people honestly believe that not reoprting a sexual assault is some sort of proof that it didn't happen. Ditto waiting to speak about it until our consciences can no longer let us remain silent.
I hate that "attention," which for women means being inundated with anonymous death threats and vile insults and to open public debate on one one's sanity, intelligence, experience, morality, integrity, behavior, and appearance, is something that people actually think women would aspire to by fabricating false claims.
I hate that every time I hear someone casting aspersions on victims of sexual assault with utter bullshit like "the timing is suspicious!" as if there's a time that women are more likely to be believed, or dismissing a woman as "an activist," which is not only untrue in this case but also completely irrelevant because of course activists can be assaulted (I'm choosing to ignore the uglier implication that activists give up their right to not be harassed or assaulted by speaking out) I can all too easily hear that person saying those things about me. My female friends. My female relatives. All the people I know who have experienced sexual assault and worse. Simply because the fact of my assault is inconvenient to them.
Most of all, I hate that all of us who are sharing the stories of our pain, shame, and humiliation are probably not going to stop the nomination or confirmaiton. There's a remote possibility of impeachment in the unlikely event that the GOP grows a conscience or the Dems take the house, but honestly, perjuring himself during his own testimony is probably more likely to get BK canned than the allegations of numerous women.
It's disheartening. It's infuriating. And I hate it.
At least the guy who sexually assaulted and statutorally raped me isn't really that bright or personable, so it's highly unlikely that I'll ever need to come forward to stop him from being nominated to an important post. That, of course, makes what he did all the more humiliating, but hey. At least my humiliation is mine to share as I wish for now. And my home state did remove the statute of limitations for sex crimes against children (I was 17), so if I ever need to speak up against him, I can also move against him legally, which could potentially shield me from assholes whining about the court of public opinion not being the proper place to pursue claims (not that it'll actually stop them). Not that I think I'll see justice on either front or get more closure than I've already made for myself, but it is good to know that door hasn't entirely closed, even if I don't want to kick it wide open just yet.
Is it November yet? I've got a marker and a ballot needs filling out.
Yours in disgust,
Mun42
I couldn't meditate when I woke up this morning because I was thinking about my own unreported sexual assault, and I hate that my rapist's stuipd face kept popping up on my Facebook timeline last week because I'm still friends with people he knows.
I hate that the news is filled words like "witch hunt" and "lynch mob," words that describe the actual murders of women and people of color, in response to people suggesting that one particular asshole not be given a pretty important job.
I hate that so many people honestly believe that not reoprting a sexual assault is some sort of proof that it didn't happen. Ditto waiting to speak about it until our consciences can no longer let us remain silent.
I hate that "attention," which for women means being inundated with anonymous death threats and vile insults and to open public debate on one one's sanity, intelligence, experience, morality, integrity, behavior, and appearance, is something that people actually think women would aspire to by fabricating false claims.
I hate that every time I hear someone casting aspersions on victims of sexual assault with utter bullshit like "the timing is suspicious!" as if there's a time that women are more likely to be believed, or dismissing a woman as "an activist," which is not only untrue in this case but also completely irrelevant because of course activists can be assaulted (I'm choosing to ignore the uglier implication that activists give up their right to not be harassed or assaulted by speaking out) I can all too easily hear that person saying those things about me. My female friends. My female relatives. All the people I know who have experienced sexual assault and worse. Simply because the fact of my assault is inconvenient to them.
Most of all, I hate that all of us who are sharing the stories of our pain, shame, and humiliation are probably not going to stop the nomination or confirmaiton. There's a remote possibility of impeachment in the unlikely event that the GOP grows a conscience or the Dems take the house, but honestly, perjuring himself during his own testimony is probably more likely to get BK canned than the allegations of numerous women.
It's disheartening. It's infuriating. And I hate it.
At least the guy who sexually assaulted and statutorally raped me isn't really that bright or personable, so it's highly unlikely that I'll ever need to come forward to stop him from being nominated to an important post. That, of course, makes what he did all the more humiliating, but hey. At least my humiliation is mine to share as I wish for now. And my home state did remove the statute of limitations for sex crimes against children (I was 17), so if I ever need to speak up against him, I can also move against him legally, which could potentially shield me from assholes whining about the court of public opinion not being the proper place to pursue claims (not that it'll actually stop them). Not that I think I'll see justice on either front or get more closure than I've already made for myself, but it is good to know that door hasn't entirely closed, even if I don't want to kick it wide open just yet.
Is it November yet? I've got a marker and a ballot needs filling out.
Yours in disgust,
Mun42