Belated Mother's Day Wishes!

[mundungus42]

I called my mom yesterday and spent the day with my parents-in-law, but it somehow doesn't feel like Mother's Day unless there's some sort of silly rhyming involved. Thus, I bring you...

All For Me Mum

I be a pirate cap'n.
I maraud the world's six seas.
(I'm not enticed by Arctic ice-
I do not care to freeze).

But when'ere the Roaring Forties
Turn my toes and fingers numb,
Through any storm I'll keep me warm
With thoughts of dear old mum.

When I were good, she kissed me.
When I were bad, she beaned me.
The treasure chest what I love best
Is still the one what weaned me.

So when we hit the doldrums
And the grog is running low
And the nearest island's now't but drought
And sharks swim just below.

I'll think of how mum raised me,
And recall her heedful scrutiny.
My cutlass will make butt-less
Any swab who tries to mutiny.

When I need help, she's willing.
Her bedtime stories thrilling!
I strive to be like her, you see,
But with a bit more killing.

A famous blackguard I!
No infamy's above me!
But even if I had no sloop,
Or fell from mizzen to the poop,
Or ended up a native's soup,
Or -worse- a lettered Navy dupe,
I know my mummy loves me.