Why?
I wrote this now:
"Why am I so lonely
why do I cry
sleepless hours of the night
even when you're by my side.
My head feels numb
my body is weak
all this pain I feel inside
my body is trembling.
It feels like daggers
stabbing into my sides
blood drips down to the tip of fingers
and slowly down my sides.
My eyes are buldging
with tears of depression
this nonstop fear
of a cry that is neverending.
You try to comfort me
as many of my friends have
but words are no longer possible
I've gone farther than that.
Words created this monster
words that were lies
lies that make me feel this pain
this pain that still lingers inside.
My mind is twisted
as are my thoughts
I contradict everything I say
and I fight battles that I've already fought.
My spirit was shot down
and it falls faster everyday
it hasn't hit rock bottom
but tomorrows another day.
My soul is never rising
as are my feet
I stay in the same spot
afraid of defeat.
Taking chances is a risk
a risk I'm not so willing to take
because everytime I do
I get pushed into a cage.
A cage that I can't escape
where I'm locked away inside
no one is there for comfort
I have no one to confide.
Living in this solitude
I learn to live by myself
in this depressing attitude
I have no confidence in myself.
I don't give second chances
because of all the lies
I don't take second glances
one enough will make me cry.
I gave up on fitting in
I knew I was different from you all
I knew I was alone, as I always have been
but when you're gone I begin to fall.
Falling down a dreadful hole
but the fact that it just goes on
slowly begins to kill my soul
I'm just one of your pawns.
I'm as little as an ant
surviving day to day
planning for the future
as my life fades away.
I'm no longer who I thought
I was going to be
I'm now caught in a knot
I've drowned in curiosity.
Looking for answers
searching for the key
what I never realized
was right in front of me.
I never wanted to be like them
confiding in those who lie
but I finally took a chance
and now I slowly die.
You want to help ease the pain
but it's impossible
I just begin to fade
The depression is unstoppable.
Darkness swallows me
Light is so far away
I can no longer see
I can't tell if it's night or day.
Please, I'm drowning in my miseries
I can no longer see
I need you to guide me
But my life seems to be the mystery.
you can't help someone
who doesn't know who they are
it's like trying to catch
a falling star.
My light goes out
I cannot breathe
The embers of my spirit
drift away in the breeze."
-Mindy Wuenschell
I'm feeling alone, depressed, and as if no one understands me. Alone in this hole I can't seem to crawl out of, i just dig deeper and deeper. Even with my friends, and even with my boyfriend, I feel as if no one knows me. No one. The 2 people who come close to knowing me is Edward(Casket) and Wilde Coyote. They are my 2 closest friends. Grizzly helps to ease some of the pain, but he is also busy in his drama. The poem was written right now, and I feel a bit better, but the more I read it the more depressed I get. I need comfort, or else I think my light will go out, I wont be able to breathe, and the embers of mys pirit will drift away in the breeze. Goodnight, and as you sleep, dream sweet dreams. My eyes will close, I'll begin to cry, then I will sadly say goodbye, then I will slowly die. That is what sleep is, an escape from world. Sleeping is a temporary death. But with this death you return to this world so full of pain, fear, depression, and anger. But through all that we must look for the happiness and keep on going. Goodnight.
"Why am I so lonely
why do I cry
sleepless hours of the night
even when you're by my side.
My head feels numb
my body is weak
all this pain I feel inside
my body is trembling.
It feels like daggers
stabbing into my sides
blood drips down to the tip of fingers
and slowly down my sides.
My eyes are buldging
with tears of depression
this nonstop fear
of a cry that is neverending.
You try to comfort me
as many of my friends have
but words are no longer possible
I've gone farther than that.
Words created this monster
words that were lies
lies that make me feel this pain
this pain that still lingers inside.
My mind is twisted
as are my thoughts
I contradict everything I say
and I fight battles that I've already fought.
My spirit was shot down
and it falls faster everyday
it hasn't hit rock bottom
but tomorrows another day.
My soul is never rising
as are my feet
I stay in the same spot
afraid of defeat.
Taking chances is a risk
a risk I'm not so willing to take
because everytime I do
I get pushed into a cage.
A cage that I can't escape
where I'm locked away inside
no one is there for comfort
I have no one to confide.
Living in this solitude
I learn to live by myself
in this depressing attitude
I have no confidence in myself.
I don't give second chances
because of all the lies
I don't take second glances
one enough will make me cry.
I gave up on fitting in
I knew I was different from you all
I knew I was alone, as I always have been
but when you're gone I begin to fall.
Falling down a dreadful hole
but the fact that it just goes on
slowly begins to kill my soul
I'm just one of your pawns.
I'm as little as an ant
surviving day to day
planning for the future
as my life fades away.
I'm no longer who I thought
I was going to be
I'm now caught in a knot
I've drowned in curiosity.
Looking for answers
searching for the key
what I never realized
was right in front of me.
I never wanted to be like them
confiding in those who lie
but I finally took a chance
and now I slowly die.
You want to help ease the pain
but it's impossible
I just begin to fade
The depression is unstoppable.
Darkness swallows me
Light is so far away
I can no longer see
I can't tell if it's night or day.
Please, I'm drowning in my miseries
I can no longer see
I need you to guide me
But my life seems to be the mystery.
you can't help someone
who doesn't know who they are
it's like trying to catch
a falling star.
My light goes out
I cannot breathe
The embers of my spirit
drift away in the breeze."
-Mindy Wuenschell
I'm feeling alone, depressed, and as if no one understands me. Alone in this hole I can't seem to crawl out of, i just dig deeper and deeper. Even with my friends, and even with my boyfriend, I feel as if no one knows me. No one. The 2 people who come close to knowing me is Edward(Casket) and Wilde Coyote. They are my 2 closest friends. Grizzly helps to ease some of the pain, but he is also busy in his drama. The poem was written right now, and I feel a bit better, but the more I read it the more depressed I get. I need comfort, or else I think my light will go out, I wont be able to breathe, and the embers of mys pirit will drift away in the breeze. Goodnight, and as you sleep, dream sweet dreams. My eyes will close, I'll begin to cry, then I will sadly say goodbye, then I will slowly die. That is what sleep is, an escape from world. Sleeping is a temporary death. But with this death you return to this world so full of pain, fear, depression, and anger. But through all that we must look for the happiness and keep on going. Goodnight.